ok, lets see here.
man, my heart has been beating hard as in physically actually beating hard for the past few days, not all day each day but for a large portion of them, and my stomach too. i guess ive been feeling lots of shit lately. been watching some real emotional thought provoking movies, had a conflict with nick dorsit and dan knighton which fortunatly im done with both. still having trouble with the girls thing, and its early spring, when the outdoors around 6:00 to 8:00, is incredible and i love it, and sitting outside in it, i always find someplace where im alone and no one can see me and just feel it all and think about everything.
sometimes i think having a brain like mine isnt always good. is it better to see things the way i do, or would it be eaiser and or better to be one of the people out there that i currently see as total idiots. a lot of times i wish i could sit out there with someone else, but i never do, and sometimes im glad im alone, it can sometimes feel better to have it feel like humanity is a thing of the past. christ, i bet in ten years or so, people with common sense will be less common than people without it. it always seems like the world is just a complete and utter dissaster, but i bet i could sit down and talk with every person in the world who can talk back intelligently in some way, and get along fine with most of them, and thye woudlnt seem like total morons. but the truth is that there IS actually so much bullshit in the world that its rediculous.
i just watched the movie "american history x", even though i already knew it, it dawned on me harder that i CAN be very racist at times, its almost like an addiction to hate for no reason, but i dont consider myslef a "racist" becuas ei never actually do any harm to other races, and ive never said anything racistly harsh to someone in an intended insulting way and i never plan too, and i have friends that are black, hispanic, and asian, so, im not racist, the problem si that the thoughts of it run through my mind, and it shouldnt be there, that movie made me realize calling some black guy who pisses you off, a nigger, wont make you come out on top, it definatly wont fix things, and it will lessen the chance of other figuing out that thye shoudlnt be racist. some other races ARE racist towards whites as well, but being racist back wont solve anything, showing them that you dont care that they are another race, is what need to happen, but at the same time, actually do treat them as equals to whites, and not let them do whatever they want. i know lots of people have a problem with this topic so i'll end here.
i still hope to get with barber chase and sampson for some playing, it keeps getting moved back and im seeing why theyve had few paractices so far. but w/e im not in a big rush or anything. i tuned my bass to an awesome tuning in my opinion. i doubt its an actual tuning, i juts messed with it till i thought i found a tuning that sounded cool. and i dont care if this post is long. i felt like making it.
later, napkin.
sometimes i think having a brain like mine isnt always good. is it better to see things the way i do, or would it be eaiser and or better to be one of the people out there that i currently see as total idiots. a lot of times i wish i could sit out there with someone else, but i never do, and sometimes im glad im alone, it can sometimes feel better to have it feel like humanity is a thing of the past. christ, i bet in ten years or so, people with common sense will be less common than people without it. it always seems like the world is just a complete and utter dissaster, but i bet i could sit down and talk with every person in the world who can talk back intelligently in some way, and get along fine with most of them, and thye woudlnt seem like total morons. but the truth is that there IS actually so much bullshit in the world that its rediculous.
i just watched the movie "american history x", even though i already knew it, it dawned on me harder that i CAN be very racist at times, its almost like an addiction to hate for no reason, but i dont consider myslef a "racist" becuas ei never actually do any harm to other races, and ive never said anything racistly harsh to someone in an intended insulting way and i never plan too, and i have friends that are black, hispanic, and asian, so, im not racist, the problem si that the thoughts of it run through my mind, and it shouldnt be there, that movie made me realize calling some black guy who pisses you off, a nigger, wont make you come out on top, it definatly wont fix things, and it will lessen the chance of other figuing out that thye shoudlnt be racist. some other races ARE racist towards whites as well, but being racist back wont solve anything, showing them that you dont care that they are another race, is what need to happen, but at the same time, actually do treat them as equals to whites, and not let them do whatever they want. i know lots of people have a problem with this topic so i'll end here.
i still hope to get with barber chase and sampson for some playing, it keeps getting moved back and im seeing why theyve had few paractices so far. but w/e im not in a big rush or anything. i tuned my bass to an awesome tuning in my opinion. i doubt its an actual tuning, i juts messed with it till i thought i found a tuning that sounded cool. and i dont care if this post is long. i felt like making it.
later, napkin.