(no subject)
2001.12.01 20.24
Love
Tonight i found out something which blew my mind. I found out that the person i loved very deeply had broken her word which in return broke my heart. She said she would never do that ever because she didnt want to hurt me but then when my friends tried to tell me i refused to listen to them and when they where trying to help me understand how i was the victom of this harsh reality that which is not true love but puppy love. And just the other day someone who i trust completly let me know somethings, yes i believed her but apart of me beleived my poor excuse for a lover... It is not that i hate to care but it hurts to and now i wish to wallow in self pitty. I dont wish to feel this way but life is not fair and was never ment be just that. So i think i will choose never to love again unless i know what kind of love will be instore for me and i will accept it in my life. Who could ask for more then to have something that doesn't exist in reality. "True Love" If it exists then why do u always feel that u know that u want to be with this person for the rest of ur life yet it never fails to kick u in the ass and stab u in the back.
I came to far to end up this way. I had based my entire life behind the love of one person and then that person begain to develope her wings and like a bird flew away. I guess i some where i became some what of a perch for her to fall back on. So i now reliize who is important and who is a worthless pile of shit in my real world. I dont think that i will see much of that whore anymore. Now my friends have become the bigger part of my life and will give me the strenght to become alive and full of emotion once again. So this will be the end of my problem and the begaining of more problems to come yet will be the start of a fresh life. Full of more happiness and love then ever because it feels like a rebirth of life. I will now live with in my own reason, then through someone elses eyes. Ijust want to love again but better then the last time. so good night...
Mood: aggravated
Music: Korn,dirty, from issues
Love
Tonight i found out something which blew my mind. I found out that the person i loved very deeply had broken her word which in return broke my heart. She said she would never do that ever because she didnt want to hurt me but then when my friends tried to tell me i refused to listen to them and when they where trying to help me understand how i was the victom of this harsh reality that which is not true love but puppy love. And just the other day someone who i trust completly let me know somethings, yes i believed her but apart of me beleived my poor excuse for a lover... It is not that i hate to care but it hurts to and now i wish to wallow in self pitty. I dont wish to feel this way but life is not fair and was never ment be just that. So i think i will choose never to love again unless i know what kind of love will be instore for me and i will accept it in my life. Who could ask for more then to have something that doesn't exist in reality. "True Love" If it exists then why do u always feel that u know that u want to be with this person for the rest of ur life yet it never fails to kick u in the ass and stab u in the back.
I came to far to end up this way. I had based my entire life behind the love of one person and then that person begain to develope her wings and like a bird flew away. I guess i some where i became some what of a perch for her to fall back on. So i now reliize who is important and who is a worthless pile of shit in my real world. I dont think that i will see much of that whore anymore. Now my friends have become the bigger part of my life and will give me the strenght to become alive and full of emotion once again. So this will be the end of my problem and the begaining of more problems to come yet will be the start of a fresh life. Full of more happiness and love then ever because it feels like a rebirth of life. I will now live with in my own reason, then through someone elses eyes. Ijust want to love again but better then the last time. so good night...
Mood: aggravated
Music: Korn,dirty, from issues