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No, no, no. I can only have the crazy confidence to think about doing such things when I am in a very happy place. I am very comfortable being a husband to A and a father to H. They both bring me great joy and peace of mind. Without either of them I would really suffer. I personally can’t believe how well I am doing right now. Sure, my job sucks and that’s nine hours of my day, but with the money I earn here I can invest in a great future for the whole family. Plus, A is very sympathetic to my plight and we often talk about how I can quit my job here and do something that I like. She is happy at her job and I can see her being there for a long time to come. Representing M and doing other things like that will make me just as happy in the near future. So when I feel good I think about other good times, and walking down Kearny street in the rain with J, then pulling her into a doorway and fully making out, that’s a pleasant memory. I was with the right person at the right time for that once in a lifetime experience and thinking back on it makes me smile. I don’t long for it to happen again or wish in any way that I was still with J, I just like the movie clip that I keep in my head. So, I think that she might like to know that I keep that clip in my head and that I thank her for it. That’s all.
See, I have lots of crazy thoughts, you are just lucky I don't write about ALL of them.
See, I have lots of crazy thoughts, you are just lucky I don't write about ALL of them.