Private
I have to find Mia.
No, god, that's so stupid and that's suicide. Dorien was bad enough. Oh god I make myself sick. Don't wanna do that again. But I do, I want to rip her fucking head off but no, it's impossible and I couldn't do it, I don't want to do it. I remember when I found out about the angels fucking with Tasha's head and I wanted to hurt them so badly and Ry just... he just had this faith in me that I could stop myself hurting anyone. He told me if he ever became not one of my people I'd have to curb that edge of mine. Those were his words. Ry, not one of my people, I never even imagined- HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH THIS??
But what can I do, what can I do? He's reaching out and asking me for help but there's this thing in his head- and noone... I mean, people like Nancy who have this other person (how do you even survive with another person in your head? It's crowded enough in here with just me) can control it because, like she said there's this mutual respect but this is a demon, a demon in his head. And Josie and Deirdre... they only had to overcome themselves. God, is this harder? Is this worse? Is this going to drive him insane? It is, I know it is, FUCK YOU, YOU BITCH GET OUT OF HIS HEAD! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!
I have to do something. I can't just sit in here and NOT do anything. I want to go out and I want to find him but I swore to Scarlett I wouldn't and I KNOW that it's stupid, and also semi-suicidal, and... broken bones are such a pain. And... don't want to be torn out of my own head again, plzkthnx. Never again.
But I can't just sit here.
Unless... well they stopped Josie with a bullet. Okay, three bullets. Not that my aim is anywhere near trustworthy. Though it wasn't like Pierre had ever used a gun before when he shot Josie. Not that I have a- but Jude has a gun. And there's no one in that house a the moment. I could get it...
*bites lip*
Peter and Thomas, their exorcism only didn't work on Svetlana because she was born a demon. Right? I think that's right. I wonder... it's possible, right? Not probable, because most of those people they used to exorcise were just mentally ill, right? Few of them actually had other people in their heads... but what if some of them did and what if something worked. If I can find something that'll force the demon out of him, well... I know it's possible. Dorien got rid of his demon, or his demon left him somehow, so... it's possible. It's so possible.
A lot of the sites on exorcism say that it's fear that allows 'Satan' to possess someone. He's scared he can't control it, 'I don't want you near me'. So maybe the ritual isn't important. Maybe just him believing it'll get her out of his head will be enough... enough to encourage him to shove her out of there.
Maybe I'm being stupid and hopeful and desperate.
But he asked me for help. I can't do nothing. I can't.
No, god, that's so stupid and that's suicide. Dorien was bad enough. Oh god I make myself sick. Don't wanna do that again. But I do, I want to rip her fucking head off but no, it's impossible and I couldn't do it, I don't want to do it. I remember when I found out about the angels fucking with Tasha's head and I wanted to hurt them so badly and Ry just... he just had this faith in me that I could stop myself hurting anyone. He told me if he ever became not one of my people I'd have to curb that edge of mine. Those were his words. Ry, not one of my people, I never even imagined- HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH THIS??
But what can I do, what can I do? He's reaching out and asking me for help but there's this thing in his head- and noone... I mean, people like Nancy who have this other person (how do you even survive with another person in your head? It's crowded enough in here with just me) can control it because, like she said there's this mutual respect but this is a demon, a demon in his head. And Josie and Deirdre... they only had to overcome themselves. God, is this harder? Is this worse? Is this going to drive him insane? It is, I know it is, FUCK YOU, YOU BITCH GET OUT OF HIS HEAD! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!
I have to do something. I can't just sit in here and NOT do anything. I want to go out and I want to find him but I swore to Scarlett I wouldn't and I KNOW that it's stupid, and also semi-suicidal, and... broken bones are such a pain. And... don't want to be torn out of my own head again, plzkthnx. Never again.
But I can't just sit here.
Unless... well they stopped Josie with a bullet. Okay, three bullets. Not that my aim is anywhere near trustworthy. Though it wasn't like Pierre had ever used a gun before when he shot Josie. Not that I have a- but Jude has a gun. And there's no one in that house a the moment. I could get it...
*bites lip*
Peter and Thomas, their exorcism only didn't work on Svetlana because she was born a demon. Right? I think that's right. I wonder... it's possible, right? Not probable, because most of those people they used to exorcise were just mentally ill, right? Few of them actually had other people in their heads... but what if some of them did and what if something worked. If I can find something that'll force the demon out of him, well... I know it's possible. Dorien got rid of his demon, or his demon left him somehow, so... it's possible. It's so possible.
A lot of the sites on exorcism say that it's fear that allows 'Satan' to possess someone. He's scared he can't control it, 'I don't want you near me'. So maybe the ritual isn't important. Maybe just him believing it'll get her out of his head will be enough... enough to encourage him to shove her out of there.
Maybe I'm being stupid and hopeful and desperate.
But he asked me for help. I can't do nothing. I can't.