Fic: Synergy
Slowly uploading my fics from FF.Net
Here's another.
SUMMARY: "You know...there's a porn version of Breakfast at Tiffany's."
SPOILERS: Chuck and Blair over the unseen summer b/t season 2 and 3, so none.
Spotted: N hooking up with Upper East Side royalty, only it seems to be the wrong one. If memory serves, wasn’t N’s Queen a brunette, not a blonde princess that looks a lot like our late Queen B’s best friend? Wonder what B thinks about this; too bad we’ll probably never know since she’s been locked up in the Bass chambers all summer.
Chuck decides that he hates Gossip Girl.
Before this very moment, Chuck had always held a shred of respect for the life-ruining whore, simply because she was ruthless, evasive, and could wreck more destruction than Chuck, Blair, and a five ton ball of steel combined.
In fact, in the pre-Blair era he had even had a slight crush on her (he had assumed that she was a super-model look-a-like and not a balding pedophile) and had once fantasized about the two of them causing havoc together and falling into bed afterwards. Of course then Blair Waldorf had stepped onto stage and stripped to nothing but her slip and stilettos for him; afterwards he would have had to be Narcoleptic to be able to dream of other girls, much less fictional versions of them.
After his short-lived adoration of the femme fatale with the slightly cheesy, and oh-so-obvious, alias, he had still retained a tolerance for her, and (dare he say it?) a slight admiration of her style.
But now, Chuck Bass officially hates Gossip Girl.
He loathes her with a passion almost as fierce as that of his feelings towards his beloved uncle and Georgina Sparks, and it isn’t because she almost ruined his life countless times.
It is because the gossip girl blast comes during a particularly loud and raunchy bout of sex with the aforementioned brunette.
She breaks off mid-moan, her head popping up and (sadly) off pillow.
"Was that a Gossip Girl blast?” She asks, her eyes wide as she brushed some of her mused hair out of her face.
Chuck sighs, and he feels a wave of utter-loathing wash through his body as he pulls on his pants.
“I thought the bitch was supposed to leave us alone for the summer,” he mutters as his girlfriend reaches over to pick up the phone on the bed stand, which is now vibrating and proclaiming in a voice that sounds suspiciously like Blair’s, ‘Beware! This is a gossip girl blast!’ over and over.
Chuck chuckles and Blair pulls his hair.
Ah, young love.
“Oh my god,” Blair Waldorf suddenly proclaims, jutting upright. “Serena and Nate are together.”
“Oh.” Chuck looks up at her guardedly, “is that a bad thing?”
“No, of course not. Nate was always in love with Serena when we were together, and he always kept looking at her with moony eyes and acting like I was too mentally handicapped to see it! Besides, they’re a better fit! He needs someone like Serena. Do you know that Nate doesn’t actually like Breakfast at Tiffany’s?” Blair asks, eyes a little wild.
“He actually called me once to tell me that he and Serena went to watch American Pie! And that he enjoyed it! He said that he’d be happy to watch it again with me, if I wanted! We’d been going out for five years, and in that five years he had never initiated any dates! And the first date he asks me out on-or the first one that he plans at least, because I know you planned our first date, Bass-is to go watch American Pie! Did you know that?”
Actually, he did know, because after Blair had refused, Nate had taken Chuck instead, both for their third viewing.
“I don’t know why I was with a boy who can’t even appreciate the subtle flavors that Tiffany’s posses!” Each word is punctuated with a higher decibel than the one before it. “I mean, I know it might seem like I’m freaking out, but I’m not freaking out! Really, I’m not!”
Chuck Bass nods.
“Charles Bartholomew Bass if you keep nodding I swear to God, I won’t have sex with you for the rest of summer!”
Chuck Bass stills.
“Besides, you’re allowed to freak out,” she continues, “when you realize that you’ve wasted all of your high-school years with a boy who feels that fine cinema is composed of crude jokes and oral sex! And the worst thing, the absolute worst thing, was that Nate actually expected me to watch the sexist movie with him! As if I would subject myself to three torturous hours watching a movie that not only makes a mockery of high-school but is degrading to women and human beings with a functioning brain alike!” Finally, she breaks off panting.
Chuck Bass puts a finger to his chin and ponders this.
“You know, there’s a porn version of Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” he finally says.
“Really?”
“Yeah. Want to watch it?”
“Okay.”
Never before has Chuck Bass felt so loved.
End.
Here's another.
SUMMARY: "You know...there's a porn version of Breakfast at Tiffany's."
SPOILERS: Chuck and Blair over the unseen summer b/t season 2 and 3, so none.
Spotted: N hooking up with Upper East Side royalty, only it seems to be the wrong one. If memory serves, wasn’t N’s Queen a brunette, not a blonde princess that looks a lot like our late Queen B’s best friend? Wonder what B thinks about this; too bad we’ll probably never know since she’s been locked up in the Bass chambers all summer.
Chuck decides that he hates Gossip Girl.
Before this very moment, Chuck had always held a shred of respect for the life-ruining whore, simply because she was ruthless, evasive, and could wreck more destruction than Chuck, Blair, and a five ton ball of steel combined.
In fact, in the pre-Blair era he had even had a slight crush on her (he had assumed that she was a super-model look-a-like and not a balding pedophile) and had once fantasized about the two of them causing havoc together and falling into bed afterwards. Of course then Blair Waldorf had stepped onto stage and stripped to nothing but her slip and stilettos for him; afterwards he would have had to be Narcoleptic to be able to dream of other girls, much less fictional versions of them.
After his short-lived adoration of the femme fatale with the slightly cheesy, and oh-so-obvious, alias, he had still retained a tolerance for her, and (dare he say it?) a slight admiration of her style.
But now, Chuck Bass officially hates Gossip Girl.
He loathes her with a passion almost as fierce as that of his feelings towards his beloved uncle and Georgina Sparks, and it isn’t because she almost ruined his life countless times.
It is because the gossip girl blast comes during a particularly loud and raunchy bout of sex with the aforementioned brunette.
She breaks off mid-moan, her head popping up and (sadly) off pillow.
"Was that a Gossip Girl blast?” She asks, her eyes wide as she brushed some of her mused hair out of her face.
Chuck sighs, and he feels a wave of utter-loathing wash through his body as he pulls on his pants.
“I thought the bitch was supposed to leave us alone for the summer,” he mutters as his girlfriend reaches over to pick up the phone on the bed stand, which is now vibrating and proclaiming in a voice that sounds suspiciously like Blair’s, ‘Beware! This is a gossip girl blast!’ over and over.
Chuck chuckles and Blair pulls his hair.
Ah, young love.
“Oh my god,” Blair Waldorf suddenly proclaims, jutting upright. “Serena and Nate are together.”
“Oh.” Chuck looks up at her guardedly, “is that a bad thing?”
“No, of course not. Nate was always in love with Serena when we were together, and he always kept looking at her with moony eyes and acting like I was too mentally handicapped to see it! Besides, they’re a better fit! He needs someone like Serena. Do you know that Nate doesn’t actually like Breakfast at Tiffany’s?” Blair asks, eyes a little wild.
“He actually called me once to tell me that he and Serena went to watch American Pie! And that he enjoyed it! He said that he’d be happy to watch it again with me, if I wanted! We’d been going out for five years, and in that five years he had never initiated any dates! And the first date he asks me out on-or the first one that he plans at least, because I know you planned our first date, Bass-is to go watch American Pie! Did you know that?”
Actually, he did know, because after Blair had refused, Nate had taken Chuck instead, both for their third viewing.
“I don’t know why I was with a boy who can’t even appreciate the subtle flavors that Tiffany’s posses!” Each word is punctuated with a higher decibel than the one before it. “I mean, I know it might seem like I’m freaking out, but I’m not freaking out! Really, I’m not!”
Chuck Bass nods.
“Charles Bartholomew Bass if you keep nodding I swear to God, I won’t have sex with you for the rest of summer!”
Chuck Bass stills.
“Besides, you’re allowed to freak out,” she continues, “when you realize that you’ve wasted all of your high-school years with a boy who feels that fine cinema is composed of crude jokes and oral sex! And the worst thing, the absolute worst thing, was that Nate actually expected me to watch the sexist movie with him! As if I would subject myself to three torturous hours watching a movie that not only makes a mockery of high-school but is degrading to women and human beings with a functioning brain alike!” Finally, she breaks off panting.
Chuck Bass puts a finger to his chin and ponders this.
“You know, there’s a porn version of Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” he finally says.
“Really?”
“Yeah. Want to watch it?”
“Okay.”
Never before has Chuck Bass felt so loved.
End.