(no subject)
Blahhh I hate when the dorm room is super messy. There's just clutter everywhere, i mean a lot of random stuff. and a LOT of clothes. The bathroom can become scummy at times, it gets dirty so easily. I don't really see how, but slowly more junk occumulates on the conter/under the sink. I love it when its clean. Hardly ever, except occasional nights when Ali gets high and goes on a roll.
I feel like I'm starting to live like...sigh... a stoner.
Just my lack of motivation to keep things straight and organized, like my desk. granted no desks are organized in our room...i wish it wasn't so.
I get kinda paranoid when i'm high. i've discovered that and it is just one more motivator for my recent(extremely) decision.
anyway, I also feel like I need more girls in my life. I don't usually hang out with many girls lately...Ali, and when we do it's usually us and boys. Or, occasionally Kathryn. and i love hanging out with Joanna and Bri...it just hasnt happened lately. i've been outta town and so have they. and i havent seen kari for like two months, besides in my living room for 5 minutes.
Not to mention Kristina, haven't seen her since November. Or taryn.
Aya I just feel like i'm letting myself slip away from what i wanted...but at the same time i dont know what i really expected in the first place.
i'm trying to balance what i really care about and what i've come to care about and what i need to care about in order to do well in school.
blahhhh
and there's rob. that's definitely a big part of why i feel confused and crazy.
But you know what...I care about him a lot. that's all i can really say that makes sense. it doesnt help that theres a crazy sexualness between us that i have never experienced before either. gosh.
all i know is that im gonna be feeling uneasy until i get my period. and i feel like i'm gaining weight, hopefully its just cause of the munchies.
which brings to announce my decision:
I am going to quit smoking pot.*
it's not necessary to quit altogether, however, i am only gonna smoke if i'm drinking, or on nights when i have done everything i need to and i really feel like it. and on April 20th.
I feel like I'm starting to live like...sigh... a stoner.
Just my lack of motivation to keep things straight and organized, like my desk. granted no desks are organized in our room...i wish it wasn't so.
I get kinda paranoid when i'm high. i've discovered that and it is just one more motivator for my recent(extremely) decision.
anyway, I also feel like I need more girls in my life. I don't usually hang out with many girls lately...Ali, and when we do it's usually us and boys. Or, occasionally Kathryn. and i love hanging out with Joanna and Bri...it just hasnt happened lately. i've been outta town and so have they. and i havent seen kari for like two months, besides in my living room for 5 minutes.
Not to mention Kristina, haven't seen her since November. Or taryn.
Aya I just feel like i'm letting myself slip away from what i wanted...but at the same time i dont know what i really expected in the first place.
i'm trying to balance what i really care about and what i've come to care about and what i need to care about in order to do well in school.
blahhhh
and there's rob. that's definitely a big part of why i feel confused and crazy.
But you know what...I care about him a lot. that's all i can really say that makes sense. it doesnt help that theres a crazy sexualness between us that i have never experienced before either. gosh.
all i know is that im gonna be feeling uneasy until i get my period. and i feel like i'm gaining weight, hopefully its just cause of the munchies.
which brings to announce my decision:
I am going to quit smoking pot.*
it's not necessary to quit altogether, however, i am only gonna smoke if i'm drinking, or on nights when i have done everything i need to and i really feel like it. and on April 20th.