madrid, barcelona
I think the 10 year old boy I live with is deeply confused by me, and is confusing me just as much in return. Today his little sister told me he wanted to let his hair grow long like mine, and even though it's really hard to read his feelings i sensed him blushing while staring at GTA Vice City Stories. I don't mean that he has any kind of romantic inclination towards me, well I hope at least. He is of the aspiring badass type of kid, all tough and macho, quiet, frowning and not letting anyone touch him. He's showed admiration at my drawing abilities, and my ease with technological matters. Once he asked me to draw him, after i drew his sister. He liked it, but then he grabbed the eraser to change his mouth - I asked him instead to pose so I could draw it for him and he made this angry face showing his teeth. grr.
He also likes the big chain with a lock i wear in my neck whenever I ride my bike (his mother's bike actually). But I probably give him just as many reasons to think of me as a weirdo, queer, uncool old guy, as one day i wear a leather jacket and cool shades and the next Im wearing a stuffy old mans jacket and getting all aroused to debussy and saying "oh in my time i was the worst skateboarder I couldnt do a thing!". And more than ever before in my life Ive absolutely no desire to resolve those ambiguities to have, as I've proven unable of doing it time after time. There's way too many contradicting things I want to project to the world outside and trying to control it is bloody useless.
He also made his mum buy him the yoghourts I eat, which are the cheap brand from the cheap supermarket Dia, instead of the fancy ones he usually eats. Im still puzzled by that one myself.
I wonder if he likes me so much why won't he let me teach him how to draw!!!! I hope it will happen in the week i get to babysit them both this month
He also likes the big chain with a lock i wear in my neck whenever I ride my bike (his mother's bike actually). But I probably give him just as many reasons to think of me as a weirdo, queer, uncool old guy, as one day i wear a leather jacket and cool shades and the next Im wearing a stuffy old mans jacket and getting all aroused to debussy and saying "oh in my time i was the worst skateboarder I couldnt do a thing!". And more than ever before in my life Ive absolutely no desire to resolve those ambiguities to have, as I've proven unable of doing it time after time. There's way too many contradicting things I want to project to the world outside and trying to control it is bloody useless.
He also made his mum buy him the yoghourts I eat, which are the cheap brand from the cheap supermarket Dia, instead of the fancy ones he usually eats. Im still puzzled by that one myself.
I wonder if he likes me so much why won't he let me teach him how to draw!!!! I hope it will happen in the week i get to babysit them both this month