Tonight's Topic: Tell the truth about something you usually lie about.
By that, I can only deduce that your suggesting I lie on a regular basis or as part of my daily job.. And if you think that, then you're a terrorist.
I am the truth and every word that escapes my lips is scientifically proven, taken from fact and agreed with by millions and billions of World Wide patrons. I never lie, and that's the truth.
Of course, not everyone is quite so trustworthy, believable and truthful as myself. In fact, statistics from a recent survey 'You Call Yourself a Good Citizen, Moron?' proves that at least 85% of Americans admit to lying, whilst the answers from the other 15% were considered a lie in themselves. Now that, my friends, equals up to 100% lie-ability from our fair country. Put America on red alert! No home is safe from the lies of their family, friends, colleagues.. and even themselves.
Trust no one, good citizens, and take every word they say as a lie!
Believe me, if you come home to find your girlfriend on top of another man, she didn't just 'fall on him'. Oh no, because accepting that excuse will just have you walking right back in on the same scene the next night, and the next night.. and the next.. aaand the neeext..
...
I.. I just need a moment.. alone..
I am the truth and every word that escapes my lips is scientifically proven, taken from fact and agreed with by millions and billions of World Wide patrons. I never lie, and that's the truth.
Of course, not everyone is quite so trustworthy, believable and truthful as myself. In fact, statistics from a recent survey 'You Call Yourself a Good Citizen, Moron?' proves that at least 85% of Americans admit to lying, whilst the answers from the other 15% were considered a lie in themselves. Now that, my friends, equals up to 100% lie-ability from our fair country. Put America on red alert! No home is safe from the lies of their family, friends, colleagues.. and even themselves.
Trust no one, good citizens, and take every word they say as a lie!
Believe me, if you come home to find your girlfriend on top of another man, she didn't just 'fall on him'. Oh no, because accepting that excuse will just have you walking right back in on the same scene the next night, and the next night.. and the next.. aaand the neeext..
...
I.. I just need a moment.. alone..