wow....its been a while.
My god I have not updated this thing in forever....
I doubt anyone is going to read this but if they do, feel free to comment. I am thinking I may need some advice on this.
So I'm going out with this guy Chad. It started out really really great but now we don't talk, and I realize that I have never actually known him. I still didn't want to break up with him, because that seemed like such a stupid reason. Then I meet Sean. Sean is really great. Hes on the football team, hes into art, photography, and hes really sweet, gorgeous.... I start talking to him on myspace alot, then I start falling for him. The I find out one of my best friends, Kelsey Mitts, likes him too. This presented a problem, because I believe that Kelsey is hella prettier than me. Anyways, I keep talking to Sean, pretyt soon I find out that hes liked me for a few weeks. Then I'm totally stoked, but I'm still with Chad, who doesn't talk. he also glares at my best friends, because I give them more attention. Well, duh, they are girls, I've known them for longer, AND THEY ACTUALLY TALK TO ME.
Then we go to the school dance. this is about 1 month since Kelsey started to like Sean. Sean comes to the dance, but Chad is there with me so we don't talk much. kelsey starts talking about how much she hates Sean and how she can't believe that she ever liked him, so i figure, you know, I can tell her whats been going on, because her and I are pretty close, and I don't like to keep things from her. So I tell her. She seems fine, but then later, shes crying in the bathroom. I knew thta it was my fault, and then everyone started getting mad at me for it. Did I actually do anything wrong? Its not my fault that Sean is so absolutley wonderful that I fell for him, is it?
Anyway, the dance ended rather uneventfully (as in no kiss from Chad, so after Chad left I went and talked to Sean with Cassidy and Kelsey Spears. We talked about random things with him, then I had to go, so I gave Sean a hug and left. Then Danika (who I think has been trying to tear the "relationship" that I have with Chad to little pieces) starts following Sean around, repeatedly asking if he likes me. Eventually he gives in and says yes, and now I have the feeling that she probably told Chad that Sean likes me.
I have Math class with Chad, so I walked with him there, and we kind of sit next to each other, so he looks at me alot. It was wierd...I just didn't feel the same about him. Its like something happened between the time when he left and then when I left that changed me. Or us. Then I saw Sean at lunch. I was really really happy to see him. I felt like I did before me and Chad started talking, really excited and happy to see him. They were showing pictures on a slide show that they took from the dance, and when the one came up with me and Chad and both kelseys and Cassidy in it, Sean (who was standing behind me) leaned over and whispered "I really loved your dress. You looked so beauitful". And I mean, that was just it for me. I haven't really stopped thinking about him since then. I just want to be around him all the time now.
Except I'm still going out with Chad. I really don't want to dump him. I mean, I don't want to be going out with him anymore, but I wish that just like, all of a sudden he wouldn't like me anymore, and then it would be mutual. I don't want to hurt him, or as Cassidy put it "break his heart". We still have a class together, and he knows EVERY WHERE I am, so its not as if I can avoid him. I just feel so bad....I don't know what to do.
So, I guess I've made my decision. Tomorrow night is my close friend Brittani's b-day party. Sean is going to be there. I will hang out with him, probably ask him out, and whatever happens, it happens. Then Cassidy will probably dump Chad over the phone for me while I'm gone. I know its a bad way to do it, but I just can't do it myself. I'm afraid I might cry.
But I have to do this. I want to be with Sean. I deserve to be happy....don't I?
I doubt anyone is going to read this but if they do, feel free to comment. I am thinking I may need some advice on this.
So I'm going out with this guy Chad. It started out really really great but now we don't talk, and I realize that I have never actually known him. I still didn't want to break up with him, because that seemed like such a stupid reason. Then I meet Sean. Sean is really great. Hes on the football team, hes into art, photography, and hes really sweet, gorgeous.... I start talking to him on myspace alot, then I start falling for him. The I find out one of my best friends, Kelsey Mitts, likes him too. This presented a problem, because I believe that Kelsey is hella prettier than me. Anyways, I keep talking to Sean, pretyt soon I find out that hes liked me for a few weeks. Then I'm totally stoked, but I'm still with Chad, who doesn't talk. he also glares at my best friends, because I give them more attention. Well, duh, they are girls, I've known them for longer, AND THEY ACTUALLY TALK TO ME.
Then we go to the school dance. this is about 1 month since Kelsey started to like Sean. Sean comes to the dance, but Chad is there with me so we don't talk much. kelsey starts talking about how much she hates Sean and how she can't believe that she ever liked him, so i figure, you know, I can tell her whats been going on, because her and I are pretty close, and I don't like to keep things from her. So I tell her. She seems fine, but then later, shes crying in the bathroom. I knew thta it was my fault, and then everyone started getting mad at me for it. Did I actually do anything wrong? Its not my fault that Sean is so absolutley wonderful that I fell for him, is it?
Anyway, the dance ended rather uneventfully (as in no kiss from Chad, so after Chad left I went and talked to Sean with Cassidy and Kelsey Spears. We talked about random things with him, then I had to go, so I gave Sean a hug and left. Then Danika (who I think has been trying to tear the "relationship" that I have with Chad to little pieces) starts following Sean around, repeatedly asking if he likes me. Eventually he gives in and says yes, and now I have the feeling that she probably told Chad that Sean likes me.
I have Math class with Chad, so I walked with him there, and we kind of sit next to each other, so he looks at me alot. It was wierd...I just didn't feel the same about him. Its like something happened between the time when he left and then when I left that changed me. Or us. Then I saw Sean at lunch. I was really really happy to see him. I felt like I did before me and Chad started talking, really excited and happy to see him. They were showing pictures on a slide show that they took from the dance, and when the one came up with me and Chad and both kelseys and Cassidy in it, Sean (who was standing behind me) leaned over and whispered "I really loved your dress. You looked so beauitful". And I mean, that was just it for me. I haven't really stopped thinking about him since then. I just want to be around him all the time now.
Except I'm still going out with Chad. I really don't want to dump him. I mean, I don't want to be going out with him anymore, but I wish that just like, all of a sudden he wouldn't like me anymore, and then it would be mutual. I don't want to hurt him, or as Cassidy put it "break his heart". We still have a class together, and he knows EVERY WHERE I am, so its not as if I can avoid him. I just feel so bad....I don't know what to do.
So, I guess I've made my decision. Tomorrow night is my close friend Brittani's b-day party. Sean is going to be there. I will hang out with him, probably ask him out, and whatever happens, it happens. Then Cassidy will probably dump Chad over the phone for me while I'm gone. I know its a bad way to do it, but I just can't do it myself. I'm afraid I might cry.
But I have to do this. I want to be with Sean. I deserve to be happy....don't I?