(no subject)
So I'm trying to quit smoking... again. I've smoked since I was 12 years old, and never thought I would be 'that guy' who got hooked. Back then, I didn't understand how people could get addicted to things, wrote them off as suckers. Little did I know that I would be labeled a person with an 'addictive personality'. I always told myself, I'll try anything once, and if it doesn't kill me, it'll make me stronger. Supposedly the actions you take during your adolescence is what molds you into the person you become. I never believed that. I always told myself that I have the strength and wisdom to become whatever and whoever I wanted to be.
Flash forward to the present. I question why I am the way I am. I wonder why I want to stand for one thing, yet my actions bring me to become... well, otherwise. I have come to realize that the way I have lived my life thus far is the equivilant of running through a garden of roses. The enticing scent, the beautiful flowers, all candy to the external senses. You notice the thorns, but you assume that it is possible to avoid their splintering consequence while experiencing the blissful reward of the sweet flower. It is only once you are deep within the garden that you notice the thorns sticking in your skin. It is only then that you see all of these exotic, alluring plants blooming all around you, but you're standing there, captured in this mass of seemingly inescapable predicament.
I now know that there is a way out. These thorns, however, will not be removed anytime soon. I suppose that there is some truth, to a certain extent, to what I was told as a kid. Your past most definately has a bearing on your future. I just hope that... well, some day... that I can somehow explain this to my child.
Flash forward to the present. I question why I am the way I am. I wonder why I want to stand for one thing, yet my actions bring me to become... well, otherwise. I have come to realize that the way I have lived my life thus far is the equivilant of running through a garden of roses. The enticing scent, the beautiful flowers, all candy to the external senses. You notice the thorns, but you assume that it is possible to avoid their splintering consequence while experiencing the blissful reward of the sweet flower. It is only once you are deep within the garden that you notice the thorns sticking in your skin. It is only then that you see all of these exotic, alluring plants blooming all around you, but you're standing there, captured in this mass of seemingly inescapable predicament.
I now know that there is a way out. These thorns, however, will not be removed anytime soon. I suppose that there is some truth, to a certain extent, to what I was told as a kid. Your past most definately has a bearing on your future. I just hope that... well, some day... that I can somehow explain this to my child.