Section 2.1 of the Dell CS Training Guide
The slightlyevolved guide to using a computer:
1.) If you see a blue lowercase 'e' on the desktop, beware. It is evil and will destroy your mind and snog your girlfriend and pets. Destroy it immediately. This can be done my installing a lit M-80 into the CD-ROM drive. After your machine is cleansed of the evil, go to www.mozilla.org and get something that functions like a piece of software instead of a sieve.
2.) There is a minion of the dreaded blue 'e' called Outlook Express. It is also evil, but will lie dormant if you use something - ANYTHING - else for retrieving email. It will be content to sleep soundly; taking up large amounts of space on your hard drive. Thunderbird from www.mozilla.org is good; as is Eudora at www.eudora.com. For that matter, do a google search and use anything that isn't Outlook Express.
3.) If the above is too hard for you, either go buy one of those easy to use, consumer friendly Etch-A-Sketch units, or use a Macintosh. If you believe the bit about the Etch-A-Sketch, please, for the love of god, don't use a Macintosh, or anything with a CPU for that matter.
May your computing years be somewhat productive.
1.) If you see a blue lowercase 'e' on the desktop, beware. It is evil and will destroy your mind and snog your girlfriend and pets. Destroy it immediately. This can be done my installing a lit M-80 into the CD-ROM drive. After your machine is cleansed of the evil, go to www.mozilla.org and get something that functions like a piece of software instead of a sieve.
2.) There is a minion of the dreaded blue 'e' called Outlook Express. It is also evil, but will lie dormant if you use something - ANYTHING - else for retrieving email. It will be content to sleep soundly; taking up large amounts of space on your hard drive. Thunderbird from www.mozilla.org is good; as is Eudora at www.eudora.com. For that matter, do a google search and use anything that isn't Outlook Express.
3.) If the above is too hard for you, either go buy one of those easy to use, consumer friendly Etch-A-Sketch units, or use a Macintosh. If you believe the bit about the Etch-A-Sketch, please, for the love of god, don't use a Macintosh, or anything with a CPU for that matter.
May your computing years be somewhat productive.