things in things.
things don't ever let up do they? i mean, they are hard, all the time, which doesn't necessarily mean bad, cuz i'm mostly happy and having a good time, but it doesn't really get easier.
i've talked to a lot of my friends and they are all going to be in ohio in a little more than a week. i'm going to see if my sugar daddy wants to buy me a greyhound there so i can stay in NJ next weekend and do shit. see all the people i've been telling i'm gonna see. then again, whenever i try to make real plans with real people who i think want to hang out they really dont. so maybe i'll not have any friends in nj anymore. i dont care anymore since i'm leaving for good and cutting off all ties and anything that would draw me to this place ever again. "that place is bogus." someone wise once told me.
i'm almost done cleaning out my parents basement. i've narrowed my boxes down even more to a few boxes of books, a box of my art and art supplies, a box of clothes and shoes and personal things and thats about it. i really dont own very much stuff.
so i've talked to walker a few times. not in days. but the last time was soooooo nice. gosh i have it bad for him. he told me how much he wanted to kiss me and see me and made me laugh so hard. i really wish he would come to ohio. but i probably have to go to him in co. he told me he wants to ride trains with me. and make love in all kinds of new places. i think i've had sex with him in more than 15 states. i cant forget. all the things he does to my bones, my nerves, my blood pressure. both good and bad. making out in the pitch blackedness of caves, fucking on roofs, making love under bridges, gambling our last few dollars away and loving it, buying crack and smoking crack and getting robbed and kickdowns from drug dealers, staying up until sunrise because we had so much to talk about and couldnt dare take our eyes off each other long enough to sleep, so many nights at the john playing pool and making out, endless pouches of tobacco, endless pleasure cubes of beer shared like there was no one else in the world, waking up in the santa cruz mountains together with a hidden black sparks, feeling so bad about saying goodbye that we pushed each other away so hard we almost lost it.
i have to go back to nj. i have to see about 13 people and meet with my sugar daddy. i have tattoos waiting. i just need a big stack of money so i can leave again. hopefully things will be a little more clear for me when i go/get back from ohio.
p.s. due to my current lifesyle, my teeth are rotting out of my skull, i think.
p.p.s. my sleeve is about 1/2 done and its fucking gorgeous. be jealous!
i've talked to a lot of my friends and they are all going to be in ohio in a little more than a week. i'm going to see if my sugar daddy wants to buy me a greyhound there so i can stay in NJ next weekend and do shit. see all the people i've been telling i'm gonna see. then again, whenever i try to make real plans with real people who i think want to hang out they really dont. so maybe i'll not have any friends in nj anymore. i dont care anymore since i'm leaving for good and cutting off all ties and anything that would draw me to this place ever again. "that place is bogus." someone wise once told me.
i'm almost done cleaning out my parents basement. i've narrowed my boxes down even more to a few boxes of books, a box of my art and art supplies, a box of clothes and shoes and personal things and thats about it. i really dont own very much stuff.
so i've talked to walker a few times. not in days. but the last time was soooooo nice. gosh i have it bad for him. he told me how much he wanted to kiss me and see me and made me laugh so hard. i really wish he would come to ohio. but i probably have to go to him in co. he told me he wants to ride trains with me. and make love in all kinds of new places. i think i've had sex with him in more than 15 states. i cant forget. all the things he does to my bones, my nerves, my blood pressure. both good and bad. making out in the pitch blackedness of caves, fucking on roofs, making love under bridges, gambling our last few dollars away and loving it, buying crack and smoking crack and getting robbed and kickdowns from drug dealers, staying up until sunrise because we had so much to talk about and couldnt dare take our eyes off each other long enough to sleep, so many nights at the john playing pool and making out, endless pouches of tobacco, endless pleasure cubes of beer shared like there was no one else in the world, waking up in the santa cruz mountains together with a hidden black sparks, feeling so bad about saying goodbye that we pushed each other away so hard we almost lost it.
i have to go back to nj. i have to see about 13 people and meet with my sugar daddy. i have tattoos waiting. i just need a big stack of money so i can leave again. hopefully things will be a little more clear for me when i go/get back from ohio.
p.s. due to my current lifesyle, my teeth are rotting out of my skull, i think.
p.p.s. my sleeve is about 1/2 done and its fucking gorgeous. be jealous!