A groovy kind of love.
Sometimes I forget how much my dreams affect my actions in real life; I don't have reoccurring dreams so much anymore, as reoccurring actions and themes that happen in my dreams.
If my dreams have a house, or a fish in it, it is most likely a nightmare. The house will always have great, winding hallways that go on and change and warp themselves to trap me. There's always an unseen force in the house acting against me. Not necessarily out of spite, but its function is to change and change and warp and consume. Just thinking about them makes me shiver.
The fish will always die. It will continue to haunt me with its huge, black, fish mouth and blank, staring eyes, dying by suffocation because of my neglect. The fish will hate me and appears everywhere in whatever dream its in. Following.
Another theme, is lights.
I will walk into a room and turn on the lights. They'll flicker but will turn on.
I will walk into the next room, and the lights will surprisingly not work. But this is strange, because they were supposed to work.
I will go back to the first room, switch the lights off, then back on, but wait, they don't work.
I will go back to the second room, and they still don't work.
Then I'm trapped in darkness, waiting for it to consume me.
The other day, I walked into my bathroom, and switched on the lights, but they didn't come on. Turns out I didn't push the switch on enough. They worked.
I walked into the hallway, and the lights didn't work. I tried again and they really were dead.
Panicking, I walked back to the bathroom and tested the lights. Thank god they worked or I would have ran outside in hysterics.
Nodding to myself I said, "Good, I'm awake." Then it occurred to me how deeply this fear of darkness full of consuming emptiness runs through me. I was ready to go into a sheer panic because of my reoccurring actions in a dream. Again, just thinking about it makes me shiver. I wonder where this fear stems from? Probably loneliness and helplessness, but what worries me more, is that they affect me in real life by my tangible actions. Not just feelings. But the fear that suddenly a looming blackness will actually come to consume me.
I think that's scary, that I can affect myself so negatively.
If my dreams have a house, or a fish in it, it is most likely a nightmare. The house will always have great, winding hallways that go on and change and warp themselves to trap me. There's always an unseen force in the house acting against me. Not necessarily out of spite, but its function is to change and change and warp and consume. Just thinking about them makes me shiver.
The fish will always die. It will continue to haunt me with its huge, black, fish mouth and blank, staring eyes, dying by suffocation because of my neglect. The fish will hate me and appears everywhere in whatever dream its in. Following.
Another theme, is lights.
I will walk into a room and turn on the lights. They'll flicker but will turn on.
I will walk into the next room, and the lights will surprisingly not work. But this is strange, because they were supposed to work.
I will go back to the first room, switch the lights off, then back on, but wait, they don't work.
I will go back to the second room, and they still don't work.
Then I'm trapped in darkness, waiting for it to consume me.
The other day, I walked into my bathroom, and switched on the lights, but they didn't come on. Turns out I didn't push the switch on enough. They worked.
I walked into the hallway, and the lights didn't work. I tried again and they really were dead.
Panicking, I walked back to the bathroom and tested the lights. Thank god they worked or I would have ran outside in hysterics.
Nodding to myself I said, "Good, I'm awake." Then it occurred to me how deeply this fear of darkness full of consuming emptiness runs through me. I was ready to go into a sheer panic because of my reoccurring actions in a dream. Again, just thinking about it makes me shiver. I wonder where this fear stems from? Probably loneliness and helplessness, but what worries me more, is that they affect me in real life by my tangible actions. Not just feelings. But the fear that suddenly a looming blackness will actually come to consume me.
I think that's scary, that I can affect myself so negatively.