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[seeuincourt]

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Comments

[richandlovingit]

I told you, you don't need boobs.

[seeuincourt]

I know I don't need breasts. I don't want breasts. I don't have the legs to be a drag queen.

[richandlovingit]

So, what are you planning? Bungee jumping? Taking a job as a mascot dressed as a gorilla? Going to McDonalds?

[seeuincourt]

A day with Lachlan. Alone.

[richandlovingit]

Holy shit. Maybe you should have gone with the boobs.

[seeuincourt]

No, no. You're the boob expert.

But I can do this. I asked to do this. And so far it's okay... Nothing's exploded, no faces sucked.

[richandlovingit]

Only real tits. I draw the line at silicon.

How long have you had him, two minutes?

[seeuincourt]

So how's it going with Holly's tits? And thank fuck for that because I would just disown you if you did entertain silicon.

Yeah, but not the point. A lot can happen in two minutes.

[richandlovingit]

I wouldn't know, I haven't been near them much. It's not like that yet. I'm too rich, I don't need to entertain bullshit :P Actual bullshit would probably feel more real than plastic.

Clearly not a lot, though, in your case. Some kids are just, you know, kids and not horror movie props.

[seeuincourt]

Mate, are you actually wooing her? Is there real feelings involved? :O I'll remember that when I'm looking for your birthday present. This year you'll get a steaming pile of bullshit.

Don't jinx it. What the fuck are you trying to do?

[richandlovingit]

I don't know. I don't know if she wants feelings. We haven't had a huge amount of time together. We're both busy. Been there, done that, had them fired.

Right now? Contemplating a wank. I don't suggest the same tactic for you with children present.

[seeuincourt]

So make some time. Surprise her. Find out if she does want feelings. Do you want feelings? Such a badass aren't you? Shaking up Florida.

How about you try calling Holly for a hand with the wank? Pretty sure she'd oblige because she can't shut up about you despite the lack of time together. She's constantly quizzing me. And no, wasn't exactly planning on that. Was thinking about a walk though. See if I can cope outside the house.

[richandlovingit]

I don't know if I want feelings. Last time I tried that, it blew up in my face.

She's going out of town. Your other half told me that when I ran into him at Walgreens. So, you have to put up with a horror rugrat AND go without orgasm. You'll never come out alive.

[seeuincourt]

But you're not really getting casual right now either.

Phone sex? Sexting? Yeah, Kurt's in trouble. She's going into panic mode, I think. Plus she wants to follow his short dark and handsome to see if the boyfriend's doing the right thing. You're making me feel so much better about his. Really.

[richandlovingit]

Shit happens in a busy life.

While the kid is in trouble? Like that is going to happen. It's never been my thing anyway. It's crass. Maybe that's not a bad thing, the boyfriend is probably freaking out and could use help with it if it's as intense as it seems. My job here is done :P

[seeuincourt]

Don't we both know it.

You underestimate the dirty use of a phone. It's not always crass. Sometimes it's fun. But okay, no, not when the kid's in trouble. Doesn't mean you still can't just talk to her. Give her someone to freak out to if she needs it. I hate you so much sometimes, Williamson.