the past.
It's amazing how much i've actually missed writing in this thing. I have so many thoughts I want to just pour into this journal, but I can't. I have been having such a hard time recently decifering my feelings, thoughts, dreams, ideas everything. I recently believed that I was over everything that happened in the past only to find out, I'm not. Or at least I think I am not. The one thing i can definitly say that's changed about myself is that I don't act irrationally anymore, if only I used to be that smart, I am sure my life would be different.
So many things have changed in my life recently, things have happened to me, and my family memebers that makes me realize how important my life really is, and how i shouldn't take it for granted. Then why am I so confused? So anxious? I feel like I just want to scream every and all my thoughts outloud but I know that would cause me more trouble than it's worth. I am honestly wondering if I am such that people person that i've been told I really am
Today I went to the cafeteria and I found myself avoiding people i knew to just sit, listen to my ipod and eat.. alone. I feel like if one person asked me what's on my mind i would explode and just pour out everything, so I am just trying to avoid that at all costs. Sorry if anyone is actually reading this, it's just me trying to figure out my thoughts, so you probably should stop reading about now.
I feel right now that only things that make me happy is when i'm running, drinking, or in my room alone singing.. that's quite pathetic. What's happened to me? I used to only be happy when i'm with people, i hated being alone, and now the thought of being alone is crossing through my mind so much more. Maybe it would just be easier to be alone. I don't know.
This really didn't make me feel any better, but maybe i'll just write to myself on this thing, since I know maybe one person will read this.
So many things have changed in my life recently, things have happened to me, and my family memebers that makes me realize how important my life really is, and how i shouldn't take it for granted. Then why am I so confused? So anxious? I feel like I just want to scream every and all my thoughts outloud but I know that would cause me more trouble than it's worth. I am honestly wondering if I am such that people person that i've been told I really am
Today I went to the cafeteria and I found myself avoiding people i knew to just sit, listen to my ipod and eat.. alone. I feel like if one person asked me what's on my mind i would explode and just pour out everything, so I am just trying to avoid that at all costs. Sorry if anyone is actually reading this, it's just me trying to figure out my thoughts, so you probably should stop reading about now.
I feel right now that only things that make me happy is when i'm running, drinking, or in my room alone singing.. that's quite pathetic. What's happened to me? I used to only be happy when i'm with people, i hated being alone, and now the thought of being alone is crossing through my mind so much more. Maybe it would just be easier to be alone. I don't know.
This really didn't make me feel any better, but maybe i'll just write to myself on this thing, since I know maybe one person will read this.