Here's my emo post
So.. since i haven't had one of these in a while i decided, it's time.
Why does it always seem that when one thing goes wrong, it becomes a snow ball effect. First, its my grandmother in the hospital, then rumors, then the worst thing of all.. heres the story..
So i was at track practice on monday, and my hip had been bothering me for a while, but being the "tuff" girl i am, i decided to run through the pain. What the fucking dumb idea. So i finish my last 200, and put pressure on my right hip (the one that hurts) and fall on the track. What? Thats what i thought to myself, i tried to pull myself up, but i was in sooo much pain, I hobbled over to the track bench and laid down. I was in so much pain. I lay there for a while, and then with a little help hobble to get car. It was the worst pain i have been in, in a long time. Then i get home, and get ready to go out to dinner with my parents, while in the shower, i burst into tears in pain. Yet, i suck it up once again, and go out to eat. By this time, im walking like i am 80 years old. My parents get really worried, and ask me about it at dinner, I explain. Then start on a little rant.
Am i happy? I am not sure. I have been doing track since i can remember. I have put so much time and effort into this sport, and what do i get? Injury, the most important year in track. Most people say that senior year is, i disagree. Junior year is the most important year in high school, and the ONE thing i love more than anything i can't do without pain. Why? Why is this happening to me? I just want to be happy and do what i love to do. I have been training all year, why does it happen during the time that actually matters? It sucks. I am not sure if i want to even continue doing track anymore. Yes, i say it makes me happy, but i have been more depressed lately than i have been in a long time. Maybe my bodies telling me something? Maybe i shouldn't be doing track? Maybe i should try something new? I can hardly think about not doing track without crying, yet people would ask why are you qutting? I am not quitting, i just don't know what to do. I am not happy, I haven't been happy all season. I don't know what else to do. Help.
Finally, Prom in ONE MONTH away. Need a date. Want a date. Most likely won't have a date. Just everyone go.. its going to be good. Had some good conversations with a friend tonight. He helped me feel a little better.
Sorry for the long-ass emo post guys.
Why does it always seem that when one thing goes wrong, it becomes a snow ball effect. First, its my grandmother in the hospital, then rumors, then the worst thing of all.. heres the story..
So i was at track practice on monday, and my hip had been bothering me for a while, but being the "tuff" girl i am, i decided to run through the pain. What the fucking dumb idea. So i finish my last 200, and put pressure on my right hip (the one that hurts) and fall on the track. What? Thats what i thought to myself, i tried to pull myself up, but i was in sooo much pain, I hobbled over to the track bench and laid down. I was in so much pain. I lay there for a while, and then with a little help hobble to get car. It was the worst pain i have been in, in a long time. Then i get home, and get ready to go out to dinner with my parents, while in the shower, i burst into tears in pain. Yet, i suck it up once again, and go out to eat. By this time, im walking like i am 80 years old. My parents get really worried, and ask me about it at dinner, I explain. Then start on a little rant.
Am i happy? I am not sure. I have been doing track since i can remember. I have put so much time and effort into this sport, and what do i get? Injury, the most important year in track. Most people say that senior year is, i disagree. Junior year is the most important year in high school, and the ONE thing i love more than anything i can't do without pain. Why? Why is this happening to me? I just want to be happy and do what i love to do. I have been training all year, why does it happen during the time that actually matters? It sucks. I am not sure if i want to even continue doing track anymore. Yes, i say it makes me happy, but i have been more depressed lately than i have been in a long time. Maybe my bodies telling me something? Maybe i shouldn't be doing track? Maybe i should try something new? I can hardly think about not doing track without crying, yet people would ask why are you qutting? I am not quitting, i just don't know what to do. I am not happy, I haven't been happy all season. I don't know what else to do. Help.
Finally, Prom in ONE MONTH away. Need a date. Want a date. Most likely won't have a date. Just everyone go.. its going to be good. Had some good conversations with a friend tonight. He helped me feel a little better.
Sorry for the long-ass emo post guys.