(no subject)
alright so this is what happened after i got home and had my most wonderful day of my life.
i had the worst night of my life.
alright so my mom was angry cus she saw that i had been drinking.
she ignored me for a while and i was like meh...im aiight. but then omfg. bad times she walks up to me and goes. "pack ur bags ur going with ur father" HAH sounds pretty familiar doesnt it.
she is wacko. absolutely insane. i told her i hated her and said fuck so many times i dont even know how that was humanly possible.
well of course i was not going with my father. no way in hell. so because there were no other options i contemplated running away. BUT WAIT been there and done that too right.
so when i felt like i was almost completey...no i WAS out of options...i thought about someone and it actually worked at making me feel better.
so then i go back inside...cus well i obviouisy couldnt stay inside seeing as how my mother now enjoys physical violence.
so yes i go back inside and guess who magically walks thru the door. MY GRANDPA. now mind u he is very large and MEAN. he decided to take it upon himself to solve problems. so i got fucking thrown. YES THROWN. grabbed by the skin and THROWN acrossss the fucking room.
ill tell ya im gettin kinda used to this beating thing. good times. so uh yeah.
then after that i walked outside again and just sat there watching the bruises forming on my hip.
so then i over hear my mother talking about how SHE is going to file a report against ME ha isnt that a laff. so im sitting there outside and guess what! my favorite buddies role up. thats right kids MORE POPO for me. so they come talk to me...inspect me...yeah those flash lights they shove in ur face really are my favorite thing.
so neway i was directed to tell "my side of the story" HA which of course is the one side that cant possibly be true. isnt that a funny one. HAHA ALSO IM APPARENTLY NOT RAISED TO SAY *YUP*...aha my "parents" couldnt have possibly raised me to say yup right...so everytime i spoke i was corrected. O THAT WAS JUST GREAT.
so uh then they go inside while i sit there. and before they go in they constantly badger me about how i have to sit there and not run away.
HEY STUPID FUCKERS WHERE THE HELL WOULD I FUCKING GO. yeah ha im gonna out run two police cars. woo i must be really special.
so then they come back out and inform me i have to go back inside. then i explain i wasnt moving until someone arrested her for child abuse.
HA now heres another laff :
apparently parents can hit their children until they break bones before ne one cares....o but wait...if i were to lay a hand on my mother...even if i just smacked her across the face...i would be hauled to jail.
dont we all jsut love the american system. watching out for americas children everywhere!
um so then, i was forced to go inside...now ill tell u something...u dont exactly feel safe in a room that has the door handle ripped off.
so i proceeded to walk back outside and tell the po-lees men to tell my mother to let me shut the door or i wasnt going back in.
so one stands outside and talks to me about how i shouldnt let my life go down the toilet. and how divorced parents are hard to live with...and how family counciling would fix everything...and how people really DO care and i shouldnt get sucked into hanging out with the "wrong" crowd. WELL MR POPO FACE guess what?! i really dont give a flying fuck. im done. no more trying to do nething.
when i turn sixteen im done. shes signing off gaurdianship to me. therefore, i am mine and no one elses responsibility.
but ne way the other cop came BACK out and told me to go inside or i was going to jail because i have to do everything she says.
O WAIT i forgot...the cop that lectured me also told me about how much he pittied me...and how there are so many girls like me that just cant deal with their problems and are just crying out for help. ha..um FUCK U
k so uh yeah other cop man comes outside and tells me to come in.
so i go inside and guess what...
LOONEY TOONS decides that " no i wont MAKE u go with ur father"
HMM so lets see...this whole" ur kicked out, ur staying here, NO ur kicked out, NO ur staying here" thing doesnt fuck me up more. HA really i swear its most definately keeping me SANE.
so yes the cops finally left and guess who i found out on the backporch smoking a cigarette. HAHAHHA thats right! HYPOCRITE MUCH. PFFFFFFT. i could smell them so i already knew she had them. sure enough when i went to look for her SHE WAS SMOKING THEM. ha i bummed one tho so that was the most helpful thing she has done like all her life.
so then she gave me sleeping pills. HAHHA too bad it takes like ten to drug me out. that shit doesnt do nething to me nemore.
uh yeah so she stole all my new clothes at one point in there and i made the police men tell her to give them back. HA suck it.
so yes now i am much much much more fucked up than b4...and im very very very angry....so much more than ever. and this is not very good for certain people.
honestly fuck it fuck it fuck it. im done i give up, no more i cant take the hitting, i cant take the yellling, i cant take the arguing,i cant FUCKING TAKE NE MORE OF THIS SHIT.
why is everything my fault and why cant she get some fucking help for herself before she goes on and on about how she has to help me.
WHY CANT ANY FUCKING PERSON UNDERSTAND.
shes insane.
im glad brianne was really there for me today. i love my freinds. they seriously keep me together. i mean im not to great right now..but god i would be so much worse if i didnt have freinds.
my aunt helped me too. i told her everything and she is like the only adult i can talk to. my mom told her not to talk to me. GOOD TIMES WITH MY MOTHER BLOCKING EVERY FUCKING PERSON I CARE ABOUT OUT OF MY FUCKING LIFE.
even the cops said living with her made it unfair cus i have no fucking place to go. NO WHERE. i mean there are freinds...but where the hell are all the family members besides me aunt that DONT BEAT PEOPLE, OR YELL AT PEOPLE.
jesus.
i need to get back with a certain someone i really need them right now. all i can think about is them. brianne even told me i was lucky. jesus. what the hell am i doing. i just want to be held...
i had the worst night of my life.
alright so my mom was angry cus she saw that i had been drinking.
she ignored me for a while and i was like meh...im aiight. but then omfg. bad times she walks up to me and goes. "pack ur bags ur going with ur father" HAH sounds pretty familiar doesnt it.
she is wacko. absolutely insane. i told her i hated her and said fuck so many times i dont even know how that was humanly possible.
well of course i was not going with my father. no way in hell. so because there were no other options i contemplated running away. BUT WAIT been there and done that too right.
so when i felt like i was almost completey...no i WAS out of options...i thought about someone and it actually worked at making me feel better.
so then i go back inside...cus well i obviouisy couldnt stay inside seeing as how my mother now enjoys physical violence.
so yes i go back inside and guess who magically walks thru the door. MY GRANDPA. now mind u he is very large and MEAN. he decided to take it upon himself to solve problems. so i got fucking thrown. YES THROWN. grabbed by the skin and THROWN acrossss the fucking room.
ill tell ya im gettin kinda used to this beating thing. good times. so uh yeah.
then after that i walked outside again and just sat there watching the bruises forming on my hip.
so then i over hear my mother talking about how SHE is going to file a report against ME ha isnt that a laff. so im sitting there outside and guess what! my favorite buddies role up. thats right kids MORE POPO for me. so they come talk to me...inspect me...yeah those flash lights they shove in ur face really are my favorite thing.
so neway i was directed to tell "my side of the story" HA which of course is the one side that cant possibly be true. isnt that a funny one. HAHA ALSO IM APPARENTLY NOT RAISED TO SAY *YUP*...aha my "parents" couldnt have possibly raised me to say yup right...so everytime i spoke i was corrected. O THAT WAS JUST GREAT.
so uh then they go inside while i sit there. and before they go in they constantly badger me about how i have to sit there and not run away.
HEY STUPID FUCKERS WHERE THE HELL WOULD I FUCKING GO. yeah ha im gonna out run two police cars. woo i must be really special.
so then they come back out and inform me i have to go back inside. then i explain i wasnt moving until someone arrested her for child abuse.
HA now heres another laff :
apparently parents can hit their children until they break bones before ne one cares....o but wait...if i were to lay a hand on my mother...even if i just smacked her across the face...i would be hauled to jail.
dont we all jsut love the american system. watching out for americas children everywhere!
um so then, i was forced to go inside...now ill tell u something...u dont exactly feel safe in a room that has the door handle ripped off.
so i proceeded to walk back outside and tell the po-lees men to tell my mother to let me shut the door or i wasnt going back in.
so one stands outside and talks to me about how i shouldnt let my life go down the toilet. and how divorced parents are hard to live with...and how family counciling would fix everything...and how people really DO care and i shouldnt get sucked into hanging out with the "wrong" crowd. WELL MR POPO FACE guess what?! i really dont give a flying fuck. im done. no more trying to do nething.
when i turn sixteen im done. shes signing off gaurdianship to me. therefore, i am mine and no one elses responsibility.
but ne way the other cop came BACK out and told me to go inside or i was going to jail because i have to do everything she says.
O WAIT i forgot...the cop that lectured me also told me about how much he pittied me...and how there are so many girls like me that just cant deal with their problems and are just crying out for help. ha..um FUCK U
k so uh yeah other cop man comes outside and tells me to come in.
so i go inside and guess what...
LOONEY TOONS decides that " no i wont MAKE u go with ur father"
HMM so lets see...this whole" ur kicked out, ur staying here, NO ur kicked out, NO ur staying here" thing doesnt fuck me up more. HA really i swear its most definately keeping me SANE.
so yes the cops finally left and guess who i found out on the backporch smoking a cigarette. HAHAHHA thats right! HYPOCRITE MUCH. PFFFFFFT. i could smell them so i already knew she had them. sure enough when i went to look for her SHE WAS SMOKING THEM. ha i bummed one tho so that was the most helpful thing she has done like all her life.
so then she gave me sleeping pills. HAHHA too bad it takes like ten to drug me out. that shit doesnt do nething to me nemore.
uh yeah so she stole all my new clothes at one point in there and i made the police men tell her to give them back. HA suck it.
so yes now i am much much much more fucked up than b4...and im very very very angry....so much more than ever. and this is not very good for certain people.
honestly fuck it fuck it fuck it. im done i give up, no more i cant take the hitting, i cant take the yellling, i cant take the arguing,i cant FUCKING TAKE NE MORE OF THIS SHIT.
why is everything my fault and why cant she get some fucking help for herself before she goes on and on about how she has to help me.
WHY CANT ANY FUCKING PERSON UNDERSTAND.
shes insane.
im glad brianne was really there for me today. i love my freinds. they seriously keep me together. i mean im not to great right now..but god i would be so much worse if i didnt have freinds.
my aunt helped me too. i told her everything and she is like the only adult i can talk to. my mom told her not to talk to me. GOOD TIMES WITH MY MOTHER BLOCKING EVERY FUCKING PERSON I CARE ABOUT OUT OF MY FUCKING LIFE.
even the cops said living with her made it unfair cus i have no fucking place to go. NO WHERE. i mean there are freinds...but where the hell are all the family members besides me aunt that DONT BEAT PEOPLE, OR YELL AT PEOPLE.
jesus.
i need to get back with a certain someone i really need them right now. all i can think about is them. brianne even told me i was lucky. jesus. what the hell am i doing. i just want to be held...