(no subject)
Ive been trying to sit and write something for awhile. Havent had the time but in actually I think I havnt the time but I usually end up sleeping. Haha, Im so sleep deprived, really. I got home at five in the am on Monday and last night I was in bed by nine…and I couldn’t sleep. I feel so…indifferent? I keep messing things up. I lost my cell phone on Monday night, lost my sunglasses sometime last night, keep forgetting about an assignment and throwing them together last minute. I keep meaning to do something and I keep somehow not getting them done. I wanna say stuffs been on my mind a lot, but its more so Im absent minded. All the stuff I wanted to think about now and cant think of will come back to me in bed and keep me up. Im frustrating myself a lot, but at the same time I take a look back and realize Im doing a pretty damn good job with things. While I forget about the assignments Ive been keep up with the work and reading so when I have to throw things together I still do well because I know what Im doing. And for the first time in awhile, quite possibly ever I have goals for myself. And for the millionth time ever Im double minded, I know what I want in so much but I don’t know what I want in so much else, I feel accomplished but dumb, the contradictions go on and on.
I re-ruptured my ear drum today. Fucking owe. Its from all the fluids still left in my head from the cold Im still getting over. It was only really bad for a few days though.
I love finding new music, new coffee shops, and day dreaming (especially when it keeps my head this jumbled and distracted).
I told myself I wasn’t gonna drink ever again after I royally fucked myself up drinking myself into a stupor. Later on I realized Im turning 21 at the end of April. So this 'Im never drinking ever again' was edited to Im not drinking until April. Everyone was like thats bullshit. Yeah, well, I changed the line again last night to "Im not drinking liquor until April." Then the tequila from Mexico negated this statement. Well shit, I did well didnt I? Whatever, Im not worried about it really, Im not drinking every time the opportunity arises anymore…but I still am having fun. I just don’t like fucking with myself, Im relatively healthy in the fact that I don’t get sick all that often but theres a lot of things I can do better.
Ive noticed that the music that’s playing is whats making my moods.
I really want my cell phone back. I think Im gonna need to buy a new one. :o(
I just needed to typed aimlessly, I think I achieved that.
I re-ruptured my ear drum today. Fucking owe. Its from all the fluids still left in my head from the cold Im still getting over. It was only really bad for a few days though.
I love finding new music, new coffee shops, and day dreaming (especially when it keeps my head this jumbled and distracted).
I told myself I wasn’t gonna drink ever again after I royally fucked myself up drinking myself into a stupor. Later on I realized Im turning 21 at the end of April. So this 'Im never drinking ever again' was edited to Im not drinking until April. Everyone was like thats bullshit. Yeah, well, I changed the line again last night to "Im not drinking liquor until April." Then the tequila from Mexico negated this statement. Well shit, I did well didnt I? Whatever, Im not worried about it really, Im not drinking every time the opportunity arises anymore…but I still am having fun. I just don’t like fucking with myself, Im relatively healthy in the fact that I don’t get sick all that often but theres a lot of things I can do better.
Ive noticed that the music that’s playing is whats making my moods.
I really want my cell phone back. I think Im gonna need to buy a new one. :o(
I just needed to typed aimlessly, I think I achieved that.