The Muffening I
Muffins were a daily part of Dilan's life from the day after his mother died when he was fourteen. The first day, barring illness, that he did not bake morning muffins was the day after he lost his heart. There is a lot fucked up about Nobodies turned Somebodies, and one of the side effects for Xaldin is the re-occurrence of need that goes into the compulsion of baking muffins.
Xaldin was a Nobody for roughly 3796 days. At twelve muffins a day that is roughly 44,000 muffins behind the schedule that his brain insists is correct. In a logical and sane universe he would wake up the morning after getting his heart, make a batch of muffins, and be done with it.
After Larxene got him to the kitchen he blacked out, for all intents and purposes. There was batter, and tins, and hot muffins, and more batter - time moves differently in this world of Larxene's than it does in Milliways, which is good.
It takes a long time to make 44,000 muffins.
There are some variations in the cooking. If Larxene talked he would absently start grating lemon zest into the batter. The Dancers made pretty baskets. Xaldin didn't care, as soon as they were out of the oven they stopped mattering to him. He just needed - needed - to cook.
Lemon Poppyseed, Blueberry, Cinnamon, Cinnamon chip, Banana, Banana Nut, Apple Cinnamon, Pumpkin, Bran, Oat, Corn, Crabmeat, Apple, Oat Bran, Bran, Zucchini, Cheese, Mushroom-Cheese, Shrimp-Cheese, Peanut Butter, Sour Cream Peach, Raspberry Cream Cheese, Blueberry Buttermilk, Sour Cream Blueberry, Carrot Muffins with Walnut Cream, Ginger Nectarine, Banana Praline, Cherry Pecan, Carrot Cheesecake, Cherry Almond, Cranberry Muffins, Pecan Sticky, Tropical Muffin Surprises, Cranberry Streusel, Banana Bread, Multigrain Bran, Cranberry Apricot Bran, Classic Carrot Pineapple, Cranberry Bran Banana, Sunburst Bran, Pineapple Bran, Honey Cereal, Strawberry Honey, Cheesy Corn, Cranberry Orange, Apricot & Banana. Multiple batches of each.
He didn't notice when the Dancer's kittens started climbing on him. He didn't notice when muffins piled up to the ceiling. He didn't notice the increasingly bewildered look on Larxene's face, or when it was replaced by steadfast determination to deal with this.
He was Somebody.
And there were muffins.
Xaldin was a Nobody for roughly 3796 days. At twelve muffins a day that is roughly 44,000 muffins behind the schedule that his brain insists is correct. In a logical and sane universe he would wake up the morning after getting his heart, make a batch of muffins, and be done with it.
After Larxene got him to the kitchen he blacked out, for all intents and purposes. There was batter, and tins, and hot muffins, and more batter - time moves differently in this world of Larxene's than it does in Milliways, which is good.
It takes a long time to make 44,000 muffins.
There are some variations in the cooking. If Larxene talked he would absently start grating lemon zest into the batter. The Dancers made pretty baskets. Xaldin didn't care, as soon as they were out of the oven they stopped mattering to him. He just needed - needed - to cook.
Lemon Poppyseed, Blueberry, Cinnamon, Cinnamon chip, Banana, Banana Nut, Apple Cinnamon, Pumpkin, Bran, Oat, Corn, Crabmeat, Apple, Oat Bran, Bran, Zucchini, Cheese, Mushroom-Cheese, Shrimp-Cheese, Peanut Butter, Sour Cream Peach, Raspberry Cream Cheese, Blueberry Buttermilk, Sour Cream Blueberry, Carrot Muffins with Walnut Cream, Ginger Nectarine, Banana Praline, Cherry Pecan, Carrot Cheesecake, Cherry Almond, Cranberry Muffins, Pecan Sticky, Tropical Muffin Surprises, Cranberry Streusel, Banana Bread, Multigrain Bran, Cranberry Apricot Bran, Classic Carrot Pineapple, Cranberry Bran Banana, Sunburst Bran, Pineapple Bran, Honey Cereal, Strawberry Honey, Cheesy Corn, Cranberry Orange, Apricot & Banana. Multiple batches of each.
He didn't notice when the Dancer's kittens started climbing on him. He didn't notice when muffins piled up to the ceiling. He didn't notice the increasingly bewildered look on Larxene's face, or when it was replaced by steadfast determination to deal with this.
He was Somebody.
And there were muffins.