insanity, and some more
So I ate about five bites of lunch and then couldn't handle any more. I now its nothing, compared to what I ought to be eating, but its *something* compaired to nothing at all. And I've kept it down, by the grace of God I kept it down. LOL what a fucked up thing to be proud of? tell me. I'm so proud I didn't fucking starve to death? or slide my fingers down my throat to empty all my hatred and disgust in to the toilet? wow, what a fucking thing to be proud of. People are proud of earning degrees, trying something new, doing something unusual--and here I am proud of the fact that I ahven't purged five bites of food...un-fucking-believable.
In other matters, I fell asleep around five this morning after getting off the phone with John. I'd just gotten in to that nice, relaxed sleep that I often take for granted when my cell rang. It was an odd hour for calls, and I fleetingly thought it might be John calling back, but wondered what would prompt him to do that. Anyhow, when I answered, it was Stef.
"Meem?" (her nickname for me)
"Yeah..what's up?"
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Sleeping." I said, stating the obvious.
"Ok, I really need your help. I'm in a lot of trouble..can you come downstaris and open the side door for me? I can't have my dad see me. And hurry!! I'm in so much trouble."
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes as I contemplated whether or not to put on something more..modest, as I was indeed going in the elivator and what not. Deciding against it, I snuck out and opened the door for her. It turns out she had spent the night at Chris's house. At around five or so, her dad called her and begin yelling at her, asking where she was. Instinctively, she told him she was at my place--sort of a bad move, as he demanded that she "get her ass up here within the next minute if you know what's good for you." well Chris lives about fifteen minutes away from here so while he gunned on over, her dad called about a million more times. Leaving insane messages on her answering machine and what not. I was scared for her. Provided she's not the most obedient daughter, and she really did drive her parents crazy while growing up, her dad was never really an active part of her life, and couldn't just decide to waltz on in whenever he chose. And so I was up pretty much the entire night working through things with her, helping her figure out what she'd tell him.
As it stands now, he's taken away her cell phone (though she knows where it is--heh she's a clever one) and has told her not to come home tonight. Its ironic, because if anything, the house is under her mom's name...it makes me so sad even to write this. Its so sad that legalities are even aplicable in families...that we have to resort to the law to fight our own flesh and blood. I know she's not the easiest person to get along with, but I love her. She's critical beyond belief, and very self-absorbed, but I'm still attached to her. I hope all goes well with her. At least her mom is on her side--her dad's a complete idiot.
Anyway, that's it for now I suppose.
Be good, behave and bye for now.
In other matters, I fell asleep around five this morning after getting off the phone with John. I'd just gotten in to that nice, relaxed sleep that I often take for granted when my cell rang. It was an odd hour for calls, and I fleetingly thought it might be John calling back, but wondered what would prompt him to do that. Anyhow, when I answered, it was Stef.
"Meem?" (her nickname for me)
"Yeah..what's up?"
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Sleeping." I said, stating the obvious.
"Ok, I really need your help. I'm in a lot of trouble..can you come downstaris and open the side door for me? I can't have my dad see me. And hurry!! I'm in so much trouble."
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes as I contemplated whether or not to put on something more..modest, as I was indeed going in the elivator and what not. Deciding against it, I snuck out and opened the door for her. It turns out she had spent the night at Chris's house. At around five or so, her dad called her and begin yelling at her, asking where she was. Instinctively, she told him she was at my place--sort of a bad move, as he demanded that she "get her ass up here within the next minute if you know what's good for you." well Chris lives about fifteen minutes away from here so while he gunned on over, her dad called about a million more times. Leaving insane messages on her answering machine and what not. I was scared for her. Provided she's not the most obedient daughter, and she really did drive her parents crazy while growing up, her dad was never really an active part of her life, and couldn't just decide to waltz on in whenever he chose. And so I was up pretty much the entire night working through things with her, helping her figure out what she'd tell him.
As it stands now, he's taken away her cell phone (though she knows where it is--heh she's a clever one) and has told her not to come home tonight. Its ironic, because if anything, the house is under her mom's name...it makes me so sad even to write this. Its so sad that legalities are even aplicable in families...that we have to resort to the law to fight our own flesh and blood. I know she's not the easiest person to get along with, but I love her. She's critical beyond belief, and very self-absorbed, but I'm still attached to her. I hope all goes well with her. At least her mom is on her side--her dad's a complete idiot.
Anyway, that's it for now I suppose.
Be good, behave and bye for now.