Wait a minute...
For the past weeks, I've been on, shall I call it, state of limbo. I went about my daily routine, trying to figure out what to do during the weekend, then fill in the remaining free time with book reading, DS playing and other blah. I haven't been heading out with Poldo. I've been meeting Cherry and the Vtes group often enough. Cherry, because of the company, Vtes for the chance.:P
But now that I feel the fatigue taking it's toll, I have decided to give myself a rest. After MA classes I head straight home, no more Seattle's, minimal library time, just straight home.
I'm recuperating, hopefully strong enough to be back on the grind come Monday. I guess I will instill a bi-weekly hiatus as well. Burn out is not cool.:P
It made me think, and me thinking is bad. It changes a mindset.
I've been going to something with the slight chance of getting a smile on my face. I enjoyed what I was doing, but I ended putting too much energy on a hope that normally withers when I end the day and head home. On the plus side, I now know how to bleed big time.:P
I have also been spending on in-the-moment items, not really thinking about long-term investment. When I realize I need to keep some aside, it is already gone, and by the time the next pay comes in, I have forgotten what happened the last time.
I feel lost and unfulfilled right now. I realized that though I have watched movies for some three weeks straight, chatted with friends until dark and did school work and work work efficiently, the silence and calm in my room has made me realize...
I was covering up my loneliness.
Whether it's because Aunt Irma's in town or because my weekends have been a fail when it came to crush, I don't know, but that's what I feel right now.
Let me forget it please....but I'm still staying home.:P
But now that I feel the fatigue taking it's toll, I have decided to give myself a rest. After MA classes I head straight home, no more Seattle's, minimal library time, just straight home.
I'm recuperating, hopefully strong enough to be back on the grind come Monday. I guess I will instill a bi-weekly hiatus as well. Burn out is not cool.:P
It made me think, and me thinking is bad. It changes a mindset.
I've been going to something with the slight chance of getting a smile on my face. I enjoyed what I was doing, but I ended putting too much energy on a hope that normally withers when I end the day and head home. On the plus side, I now know how to bleed big time.:P
I have also been spending on in-the-moment items, not really thinking about long-term investment. When I realize I need to keep some aside, it is already gone, and by the time the next pay comes in, I have forgotten what happened the last time.
I feel lost and unfulfilled right now. I realized that though I have watched movies for some three weeks straight, chatted with friends until dark and did school work and work work efficiently, the silence and calm in my room has made me realize...
I was covering up my loneliness.
Whether it's because Aunt Irma's in town or because my weekends have been a fail when it came to crush, I don't know, but that's what I feel right now.
Let me forget it please....but I'm still staying home.:P