Running through it...
After running a mile and encountering a welter of thoughts, going ka-chunk through my desperately quiet-seeking head, it’s a bit of a let down. I was wishing for the “engine” to come, that which gets me through the long runs and damps down the emotional baggage, and all I could come up with was “nice sunset, hoping she finds her cat, run you idiot run, looking forward to the drive tomorrow, I wish I was writing this down, draw in your bubble around you and just go, stride, stride, stride.”
Why do I allow myself to be haunted by stuff? I’ve cleared out a lot of emotional baggage recently, but also at the expense of drawing more into myself. And there are two things that are still part of the wacked out nutjob that is me, although in two very different places.
It’s definitely led into more grey areas than existed before, surprisingly, but with less guilt about the past and present. I don’t think I’m doing everything I need to be, but I’m doing a lot more than I was.
At least positive strides have been made at work, taking some of the coworker/boss stress off, although I do have to achieve a new dynamic and make some new goals for me and my team.
Home still holds its challenges, in keeping cool, calm and collected with the kiddo, to the many changes that I’m trying to keep up in our everyday lives and where everyone stands in liking, loving and relating. The new obsession is in writing everything down in a notebook and doing some behavior and financial analysis. The second obsession is the highly secret frankenyard project, which is massively time consuming, but bringing me closer to a couple of my best friends, who are helping with the planning and execution.
The URL is still under wraps, but if anyone is interested, let me know. Not that anyone reads lately-as I’ve been away much more than I’ve been writing online. It felt good to run tonight. I’ve been doing more of that, and it’s hopefully making a difference in my stupid cholestrol level. And, as I’ve been missing the old me, Kristin very sweetly gave me a couple of sets of circular barbells that even G likes on me.
Now I’m thinking about the next tattoo, along with incorporating some very cool druidic symbology into both my body and the project-hopefully Emily can help with that.
Why do I allow myself to be haunted by stuff? I’ve cleared out a lot of emotional baggage recently, but also at the expense of drawing more into myself. And there are two things that are still part of the wacked out nutjob that is me, although in two very different places.
It’s definitely led into more grey areas than existed before, surprisingly, but with less guilt about the past and present. I don’t think I’m doing everything I need to be, but I’m doing a lot more than I was.
At least positive strides have been made at work, taking some of the coworker/boss stress off, although I do have to achieve a new dynamic and make some new goals for me and my team.
Home still holds its challenges, in keeping cool, calm and collected with the kiddo, to the many changes that I’m trying to keep up in our everyday lives and where everyone stands in liking, loving and relating. The new obsession is in writing everything down in a notebook and doing some behavior and financial analysis. The second obsession is the highly secret frankenyard project, which is massively time consuming, but bringing me closer to a couple of my best friends, who are helping with the planning and execution.
The URL is still under wraps, but if anyone is interested, let me know. Not that anyone reads lately-as I’ve been away much more than I’ve been writing online. It felt good to run tonight. I’ve been doing more of that, and it’s hopefully making a difference in my stupid cholestrol level. And, as I’ve been missing the old me, Kristin very sweetly gave me a couple of sets of circular barbells that even G likes on me.
Now I’m thinking about the next tattoo, along with incorporating some very cool druidic symbology into both my body and the project-hopefully Emily can help with that.