I feel like i'm falling, falling off the face of the earth.
I've been thinking about the lack of productivity i've had lately. Why am I here? What am I doing? I spend my free time either sleeping or...well, sleeping. I went to VolunteerMatch.org earlier today and signed up with several organizations; one sounds very interesting. Twice a month, i'll drive to Nashville and pick up hot lunches and deliver them to those who don't have food to eat. I think it will be very good for me. Seeing real loss, real people with problems much greater than my own so that I can (hopefully) stop spending so much of my time sitting on my own frustrations and dwelling on things I cannot change. I want to start doing nice, thoughtful things for people. I want to be a good person again. It sounds silly, but I feel like i've turned into the most selfish person with less compassion than most. It's terribly sad.
On another note, my classes are going well and i've actually made a couple new friends! This whole meeting people isn't as hard (or annoying) as I thought. I'm dreaming again, of a good life, of happy times and a future more bright than what I had previously settled for. I still want out of this godforsaken town, but i've realized i'm lucky to be stuck here with some of the best friends a girl could ask for. It's nice to have a solid group of friends behind you at all times.
I really need to buy some CDR's, I have new music that needs to be turned into new mixes. I don't even have a winter playlist, yet. Blasted! Oh! Oh! and I bought the most wonderful, vintage-like Valentine's Day cards. So cute.
Ahhh! I must cut this short for I have some Tilt to drink and some dancing to do.
Hope you are well...truly.