i dont think i have anything left to say/
hm.
woke up from the awful dreams again, which is.. well it is what it is i guess/ not new, but somehow an unexpected thing anyway..
my tummy is in my throat and i dont know how to calm down enough to sleep again, which is very high up in amount of stink because this little girl is pretty much dead tired.
so im sitting here and im doing the thing where im rubbing my cheek against my shoulder obsessively and im trying to figure out whether the skin on my cheek is what is ridiculously soft or if its the skin on my shoulder - like if i touch my arm i cant figure out if my finger feels it dominantly or if my arm does... hm. touchy feeling things is great.
i used to draw this picture a lot, of this naked girl throwing up, only shes throwing up a baby - umbilical cord attatched and trailing out of her mouth and all - and also lots of pills. sometimes she would be doing so above this other girl who would be on her hands and knees with her back arched down just so, so i guess that curve of her back was going to make a good cradling sort of spot for when this fetus landed on her... sometimes it was just the girl on her hands and knees and she was the one throwing up.
anyway. im not sure what my point is. except i wish i could throw up all of my insides and just be done with them. either just be done entirely, or start out fresh with new ones.
*heres to you staying drunk heres to all your good luck/ you're gunna need it
wtf/
woke up from the awful dreams again, which is.. well it is what it is i guess/ not new, but somehow an unexpected thing anyway..
my tummy is in my throat and i dont know how to calm down enough to sleep again, which is very high up in amount of stink because this little girl is pretty much dead tired.
so im sitting here and im doing the thing where im rubbing my cheek against my shoulder obsessively and im trying to figure out whether the skin on my cheek is what is ridiculously soft or if its the skin on my shoulder - like if i touch my arm i cant figure out if my finger feels it dominantly or if my arm does... hm. touchy feeling things is great.
i used to draw this picture a lot, of this naked girl throwing up, only shes throwing up a baby - umbilical cord attatched and trailing out of her mouth and all - and also lots of pills. sometimes she would be doing so above this other girl who would be on her hands and knees with her back arched down just so, so i guess that curve of her back was going to make a good cradling sort of spot for when this fetus landed on her... sometimes it was just the girl on her hands and knees and she was the one throwing up.
anyway. im not sure what my point is. except i wish i could throw up all of my insides and just be done with them. either just be done entirely, or start out fresh with new ones.
*heres to you staying drunk heres to all your good luck/ you're gunna need it
wtf/