Pandemia 2020
I don't really even know where to begin. Reflecting to past entries is really interesting and helpful. I spent a few minutes doing that, an remembering specific moments and things. It is so strange this new world I am living in. Somehow I am still in college hahaha. I laugh but I guess it's the price of not really knowing what you want in life. I needed to slow down and go inside myself. I needed to spend some time giving back to my community as well and fulfill my lifelong dream to travel the world. I had plans to continue that this summer but those have since been thwarted by this ongoing virus. I wont complain. I have a steady job, which I am not even doing much for right now, we are just simply close. I move along towards my goal, newest, of switching to engineering. I love to create, so it all just made sense that I would eventually find myself here.
The kids are doing well. Dean is almost graduated and Reyes is an adult with roommates working and headed towards going to one of my old dream schools, UT. Dean is emerging as a budding writer and is still so connected to the animal world. My hearts.
The whole world is in quarantine it seems, or for the most part. I slowly watched the John's Hopkins GIS tracker as the wave of infections moved towards us. I saw it coming, my anxiety consumed me, and my frustration drove me to snap at others who were in denial. I have since calmed down considerably. I still have bouts of anxiety but I have been doing a lot of self care. I am so thankful that our governor was swift and aggressive in shutting New Mexico down so quickly. Our deaths are very low. Being on this desert island has its advantages at times, now is one of them.
I have been in quarantine for three weeks as of today. I have wanted to write and journal. Mostly I have been reading a ton about the virus and following the numbers and treatments emerging. I organized an online group to support the sewing and making of masks for healthcare workers since there is a shortage. I have definitely felt fear around this whole issue. Namely because I have a weak immune system. It doesn't seem that the virus discriminates at times though. Weak or not, it has taken some people. I've done my best to share information with a critical eye and stay on top of readings. Many people are very lost and don't know what to believe. The media has a terrible reputation for sensationalism and fake news it is hard for people to discern what is true.
Last year I moved into a space in downtown ABQ to run my shop and a small laboratory for creating new products. This month I am packing it all up and putting it into storage. It's amazing how much things change in such a short amount of time. I am grateful to still be working, and having a paycheck as a state employee. Many people are without income suddenly, without a means to buy groceries and feed their families, under stress to know how they will pay their rent.
I'm in this space where I want to love without conditions. I can forgive and compartmentalize things for what they are.