Porn
I watch rough straight porn. Im not into sex with men and have never been in love with a man. Theres a block there.
Lesbian porn sucks! The closest thing to it is the real l word and the l word and when tara was a lesbian in season four of true blood.
Its always weirded me out a lil bit. Who do i identify with? Why cant i watch the accused without having a panic attack but rough/force porn doesnt do shit. Id never want that to happen to anyone i dunno.
Whats my subconscious telling me?
I do have wicked penis envy. I wish i could get a blowjob wherever i wanted and produce children with my lady. I would have 1 by now im sure.
I want kids but dont want to be pregnant. I want to pass on my genes but dont want to ruin my body. Selfish and im sure its worth it but i just dont see myself with a parasite inside me. Feeding and leeching all of my nutrients breakig me out and blowing me up. Shudder. Gross. Its a romantic idea but reality wins. Amy would be a great mom. I dunno if i could get out of my head long enough.
Unrelated: when im happy im bored
When im unhappy im distracted.
The anticlimax of success :)
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