The Perils of Fiction 2/2
Anton felt like he was twelve again and he was getting his heart broken by the boy down the street all over again. He was sprawled on his childhood bed staring at the ceiling wondering how he had gotten it so wrong with Zach, how he had missed the fact that he was being kept a secret. He heard the knock on his door and had half a mind to ignore it, his mother was hovering, concerned for him, and he just wanted to be left alone. But he couldn’t be rude to his mother, no matter how much he wanted to. So he called out, “come in.” And then began speaking when he saw the petite frame and blond hair of his mother open the door and step into the room. “Mama I am fine. Please, I want to be alone.”
His mother speaking in Russian, something that seldom happened unless she was angry, he was in trouble, or they were trying to keep their conversation private, caused him to sit up and notice that there was someone with her. He was beyond surprised to see that it was Zach. He managed to answer his mother in Russian, assuring her that yes, it was fine and he would speak to Zach, despite his shock. His mother said a little more, still in Russian, and then closed the door. Anton sat on the end of the bed, and motioned for Zach to sit in the rolling desk chair.
Zach did so, and then pulled the chair to be close to the bed. He’d had a chance to survey the room while the conversation in Russian had been going on. It only served to show him how little he knew about this man whom he cared so much about. The pictures of him skating were surprising; he hadn’t realized that Anton could skate as well as he appeared to. The decorations seemed so unlike what Anton had chosen to bring to his own home, and yet they seemed to reflect some aspects of his personality. He sighed and placed his hands on his thighs. “So what were you and your mom talking about?”
Anton chuckled. “She was asking if I wanted my father to throw you out.”
“Ah. I was surprised she let me in the door; they both seemed rather resistant to the idea, especially your mom. But I talked to your dad and let him know that I thought we needed to talk, that I had some things I needed to say to you. I convinced him to let me in.”
Anton nodded, smiling. His dad was slight like him, despite the years, muscles, and training that were associated with figure skating, his father appeared a slight man yet Anton knew he was anything but, if he had wanted Zach gone, the other man would have stood no chance. Anton was having a hard time staying mad at Zach, the fact that he had tracked him down, somehow figured out his home address, and then showed up only to have to charm his way in, well it went a long way towards making Anton feel marginally better. Besides, he loved Zach, it was as simple as that, part of him wanted to forgive the older man, even while part of him wanted to punch him. Anton pulled his legs up and folded them so he was sitting Indian style, letting his hands rest in his lap, and then he spoke, “So what did you want to tell me?”
Zach smiled warmly at Anton, and hoped he didn’t mess this up. “I told Chris about us. Then I called my brother and told him.”
Anton shook his head, “Zach...”
“Wait, let me finish, baby. What I said earlier I didn’t mean. When I indicated that I didn’t care if you were around, when I made it sound like I didn’t want you, it was a lie. I love you Anton, and I was hurt, feeling foolish, and I got caught in a lie. Rather than talk to you, I was defensive and I hurt you more. I didn’t mean too. I’m sorry.”
Anton sighed, and leaned forward, to link his fingers with Zach’s fingers. “Are you done?”
Zach nodded.
Anton smiled, “good. I was so pissed at you Zach. I called John and ranted and raved and bitched about what an ass you were being, and he agreed by the way. But he also made me realize something. We’ve got to talk more. I didn’t even realize that you hadn’t told anyone, I was so content to be in this little bubble. Things have got to change if this is going to work.”
Zach nodded, “I know. I’m so sorry, baby. Joe wants to have breakfast tomorrow. He called me a moron and about a million other things because I hadn’t told him. He and Chris both made me realize I was wrong, and I don’t have an excuse for it. But I know now, the age doesn’t matter, it never did at least to me, I was just so afraid our friends would judge us, think that we meant less to each other than we do.”
Anton smiled and let his legs fall open, pulling Zach forward by his hand so that the desk chair was between his legs. He slid his hands up to cup his face, “You are such an idiot some times. An adorable little idiot, but an idiot none the less.”
Zach pouted, an expression he’d learned from Chris no doubt, “so I’ve been told, repeatedly, in fact.”
Anton chuckled, and then leaned in to place a sweet, quick kiss on Zach’s lips, putting an end to the pouting.
Zach offered him a small smile, when he pulled away, “Does that mean you forgive me?”
Anton nodded, “I’m still mad at you, but yeah. I forgive you.” He knotted his fingers in Zach t-shirt to punctuate his next words, “but next time, talk to me, instead of being an ass and keeping shit from me, and our friends.”
Zach chuckled, and nodded. “I really am sorry baby.”
Anton smiled, “I know. I love you.”
“Love you too.” Zach placed a deep lasting kiss on Anton’s lips, breaking away only when air become necessary. “So what’s next? Are you coming home with me?”
Anton gave him an apprising look. “Eventually. But first, we got into this mess because we didn’t know enough about each other. I want to fix that, right now, before we do anything else.”
Zach nodded, it wasn’t the answer he was looking for, but it was a start, “okay, what do you want to know.”
Anton smirked, “What’s your guilty pleasure?”
Zach laughed, running his fingers along the seam of his jeans. “Going for the big stuff, I assume the more embarrassing the better?”
Anton nodded, and Zach smirked before he continued, “boy bands. NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, 98 Degrees, all of ‘em. In my defense it was considered dance music when I was in college.”
Anton grinned, and then slipped off the bed to sit on the floor, his back against the edge of the bed, patting the carpet next to him, indicating that Zach should have a seat.
Zach settled on the floor next to him, and spoke, “so what is yours?”
Anton nodded, he’d anticipated that actually. “Trisha Yearwood’s music.”
Zach frowned for a moment and then he smirked, “that’s country isn’t it?”
Anton smiled a little, “Yes. My dad loved country when I was a kid; Trisha Yearwood is the only thing I really liked about it. The music just speaks to me, you know. Kind of like now, she’s got this song, called Inside Out. It’s all about getting to know someone so completely, this just kind of made me think of that.”
Anton was staring at his hands, rambling, clearly embarrassed, and it was the most adorable thing Zach had ever seen. He slipped his arm around the younger man’s shoulders, and pressed a kiss to his temple, before he spoke, “so what does she talk about in this song, what do you need to know?”
Anton smiled, he hadn’t expected Zach to go along so easily, although he suspected it had something to do with the fact that he was attempting to make up for his actions this evening. He mentally ran through the lyrics he’d known for ages, “biggest lie you ever told?”
Zach laughed, and stood up for a moment, long enough to grab the laptop Anton had apparently packed with his other stuff, and push it towards him. “Find the lyrics; I want to know what I’m supposed to ask next. And that’s an easy one. I told you this afternoon, out of sight out of mind, except I couldn’t stop thinking about you, or the hurt look on your face or the pain in your eyes when I got home.”
Anton stopped fiddling with the laptop to place a kiss on his lips, deep and searching, and just as quickly he pulled away, “you goof. I didn’t know you were such a romantic, that was really very sweet.”
Zach groaned at the loss of Anton’s lips against his, but took the laptop, and quickly searched through the lyrics, smiling. Country wasn’t his type of music, but the lyrics read in an interesting way, the chorus was clearly a sexual innuendo, or at least that was how he read it. But hopefully they would get to that in good time, he kind of like the idea of having sex in Anton’s childhood bedroom, his parents down the hall, it was a thrill that he hadn’t had in quite a while. Smiling he asked the next question, “I’m skipping the next line, because its lame, sorry baby, it is. So, you’re loneliest night?”
Anton smirked at the fact that he avoided the line that dealt with age and growing older, though perhaps it was best given the nature of their argument. The question was easy to answer, and had occurred rather recently. “In Sydney, when I got told in no uncertain terms by the press team that I wouldn’t be let into the bars because I was under age. I ended up staying in the hotel by myself.”
Zach frowned, they hadn’t been together then, not by a long shot, but he knew that John had offered to stay with him. “You said you didn’t mind, didn’t anyone to stick around.”
Anton snorted, “I didn’t want a fucking babysitter. Why should you all have to suffer just because I’m a child? Besides I didn’t think I’d mind when I said it, I just hadn’t realized how much I’d gotten used to having someone around all the time. We were all living out of each other’s pockets, you know?”
Zach nodded, he slung his arm around Anton’s shoulders again, pulling him tight against him, “I’m sorry if we treated you like a kid.”
Anton smiled, “thanks, it was fine, really, just kind of lonely at times.”
Zach squeezed the younger man reassuringly, “it’ll be better for the sequel. You’ll see, I promise. Things got better for Hayden after the first season; people finally seemed to realize she wasn’t as young as we thought she was.”
Anton had his doubts, but let them go for now, time would tell. He pulled the laptop in his direction looking at the screen, “Next question, the angriest letter you never sent?”
“Alex O’Donnell, in the eleventh grade. He called me a fag in front of everyone at lunch, kept it up for three weeks, every homophobic rant he could come up with. I wrote this scathing and pithy letter, essentially comparing him to a trilobite, never sent it to him though.”
“What happened? I mean did he stop on his own or what?”
Zach laughed and blushed slightly, “hell no. Joe beat the shit out of him one Saturday evening outside the movie theatre. One of his friends from high school had a little brother who was still in school and he told Joe what had been going on. My mom about killed him, but I think she was secretly proud of him, big brother to the rescue.”
Anton nodded, smiling at the story; it was a window into Zach’s youth, something the older man so rarely ever talked about. Anton frowned as something dawned on him though, “were you out in high school?”
Zach sighed, it wasn’t bitter or exasperated, it was just a sigh, “yeah. I came out to friends when I was a freshman, started dating a guy from drama class my junior year. We kept it pretty low key; it was Catholic school after all.”
Anton shook his head, “I can’t believe you’ve been out since high school.”
Zach’s brow creased, “Wait, when did you?”
Anton blushed, “seventeen.” He said the words in the perfect Chekov voice and Zach laughed appreciatively.
“You were still in high school.”
“Barley, I mean I was like two credits short of graduating, I didn’t even still attend, I was doing correspondence courses by then.”
Zach smirked, “child actor.”
Anton hit him lightly on the shoulder where he was tucked into Zach’s side, “Jerk.”
Zach snuck a kiss, warm and sweet and lingering. He smiled his eyes dancing as he glanced back at the screen. “huh, the girl you swore you’d never leave, well make that the guy. And I’m throwing in there, the one you kissed on New Year’s eve.”
“Charlie Markowitz, for both. He was my first boyfriend; I met him in Hebrew School, when I was studying my torah passage for my bar mitzvah. He kissed me at the party after the hava nagila.”
Zach smiled, “you were so young.”
Anton laughed, “yeah. Kind of lost touch after that, but then when we were sixteen, almost seventeen, they moved down the street, we reconnected. He was my first serious relationship. We were good friends, we both thought we’d be together forever, you know?”
Zach nodded, he understood. “What happened?”
“I did Alpha Dogs and Charlie Bartlett. He went to college, and things kind of fell apart. He couldn’t understand why I wanted to act instead of going to college. I couldn’t understand why he didn’t want me to be happy. It was bad.”
Zach intellectually knew that this was a good thing for him, but the sadness that resonated Anton’s voice was too much for him. He pulled the skinny, younger man into his lap, wrapping his arms around him, cocooning him in his body heat as he pressed kisses along any visible skin. “I’m sorry babe.”
Anton sighed, “thanks. I mean, it worked out for the best, I’m here with you. But I just always felt like I let him down, it sucks.”
Zach nodded, but didn’t say anything, what could you say to that? He sighed and placed a kiss to Anton’s curls. The younger man smiled, happy to be in the warm circle of Zach’s arms. It always amazed him how much better he felt with Zach. The older man could put him at ease; it was so easy to be with him. He let out a contended sigh and spoke, “my turn. Your darkest hour, your hardest fight?”
Zach was serious and stilled, it wasn’t a hard question, it was just something he didn’t like to talk about. But their goal was complete honesty, and he knew he could trust Anton. “Watching my dad die.”
Zach unconsciously tightened his grip and sighed a sad sigh before he continued, “I was seven when he died, but I was six when we found out he was sick. It’s hard to explain, being sick and watching this man who’d been your rock your whole life slowly waste away. By the end my mom and Joe were doing everything for him, feeding him, bathing him, he was on a breathing machine, he could barely hold himself up in bed. There are just no words for that kind of pain, seeing your dad suffer every day and trying to put a smile on his face for his six year old son who he was never going to see grow up.”
Anton twisted in Zach’s arm, slipping his leg over Zach’s and under the bed, so he could hug his lover, tightening his arms, and smiling as Zach rested his head against Anton’s shoulder. Anton let Zach hide his head in his shoulder, knowing from the sound of his voice that Zach was close to tears. But after a few minutes he turned his head to nuzzle against Zach’s face. Zach lifted his head and Anton placed a sweet kiss on his lips. When they pulled away Anton spoke, his voice soft, “he’s proud of you, you know.”
Zach did cry at the words. He buried his face in Anton’s shoulder again and the younger man could feel tears drop onto his threadbare t-shirt. It was silent tears, and Anton wasn’t sure he had said the right thing, but Zach’s voice, barely a whisper reassured him, “I just have always wanted to hear him say it. To know he would have handled me coming out the same way my mom did. He was so Catholic, Ant, I’m not convinced he wouldn’t have sent me to a deprogramming camp.”
Anton shook his head, and rubbed a reassuring hand along Zach’s back. “He wouldn’t have. Your mom has always accepted you, you’ve told me that much. You’re dad would have too; she never would have married the kind of man who wouldn’t have loved you all the same. You’re a good man Zach. You take care of your mom, you spend time with Joe, you respect women, you are kind to people you work with, and you stand behind your promises. It’s everything a father could ask for.”
Zach hide his face for a few more minutes, letting Anton’s words rush over him, trying to take them all in, take them all to heart. He was also a little more than ashamed that at thirty two he was incapable of dealing with the issues surrounding his father’s death. He cleared his throat and took his face away from Anton’s shoulder. He offered the younger man a smile.
Anton returned it with ease. “Thanks for sharing with me. I know it’s not something you talk about, with anyone.”
Zach shook his head, “not even Joe.”
Anton leaned in and kissed him fiercely, letting his tongue explore every cavern of Zach’s mouth hoping to show his appreciation through silent channels. When they finally parted for air Zach laughed a throaty chuckle. “Keep that up and we may not have much more question answering.”
Anton had an impish smile, “You read the chorus right?”
Zach nodded, and then squinted calling it to memory, “I wanna dig down deep, I wanna lose some sleep
I wanna scream and shout, I wanna know you inside out…”
Anton interrupted him, finishing the chorus, “I wanna take my time, I wanna know your mine
You know there ain't no doubt, I wanna know you inside out”
Zach chuckled, “you have something in mind? Plan on making me scream and shout with your parents down the hall?”
Anton shook his head, “not a chance in hell. You get the last question, then we’re going home. You can keep me up all night once were there, if you want.”
Zach laughed low and throaty, enjoying the heady promise his young lover was making. “I’m skipping down, then. Because I’m intrigued, the last question is going to be, the truest vow you ever made?”
Anton nodded, seriousness washing over his features. “Good choice. Not to let everything my parents gave up be for nothing.”
Zach frowned, “what do you mean?”
“There is this interview my parents did when I was a kid, and when they were asked why they left Russia, why they sought asylum in the US, and my dad responded that it had nothing to do with not being allowed to complete in the Olympics, and everything to do with me. They left their home country, and their families, everything they knew, when I was six months old to come to the US so I could have a life outside of Communism. It’s a lot to live up too, knowing they gave up everything for you.”
Zach carded his fingers through his young lover’s hair. “Is that why you are so close with them, even though you’ve been an adult for a while?”
Anton nods, “yeah. I mean I’ve been working since I was a kid, I felt like I had to. It took me forever to get them to agree to let me act instead of following a competitive skating career, so I had to prove myself. I had to be an adult while being a kid. But it was worth it. They’re proud of me; I honor them when I present myself as a responsible individual. That’s what I’ve always vowed to do.”
Zach nodded, appreciating the seriousness of the conversation but finding himself enamored and turned on by Anton’s earnest description of his parents and how he hopes to please them. Something that every child feels but the added weight of knowing his parents sacrificed much apparently weighed on Anton greatly. But in the end Zach’s libido and desire to show Anton just how much he admired and appreciated the young man won out.
“Your adorable.” Zach all but growled the words as he used his strength and yoga training to execute a swift move, dumping Anton on the floor gently and resting over him, letting his weight lightly hold the younger man to the floor.
Anton groaned as he felt Zach push his hips against Anton’s, the move causing both men’s cocks to lengthen and harden. Anton bit his lip, torn between giving in to the demand his cock was reminding him all too painfully of and the fact that the walls of his parent’s house were not that thick. In the end the potential shame factor won, and when he spoke his voice was laden with desire but firm, “come on Zach, not here.”
Zach smiled, “haven’t you ever wanted to have sex in your parent’s house, the thrill of maybe getting caught.”
Anton shook his head, “no and you only think it’s hot because it’s not Margo who could walk in any moment.”
Zach pushed his hips forward into Anton’s again and hissed at the friction, delighting in Anton’s quiet groan. He pushed up to one arm, the other hovering above Anton’s belt buckle. “We’ll go to Pittsburg for Christmas and I’ll fuck you in my childhood bedroom, you’ll see I don’t give a damn. Please baby, I missed you, and this was what I had planned for the evening all along.”
Anton sighed, and shivered at the feeling of Zach’s hands along his stomach, just above the waist of his pants. “Fine, as long as you come back here for Passover.”
Zach kissed Anton while his hands opened the young man’s belt buckle, murmuring his response between passionate kisses, “of course. This is the strangest pillow talk I’ve ever engaged in. Now please, can I suck you off?”
Anton chuckled, low and throaty, “best offer I’ve had in hours.”
Zach worked his hand into the younger man’s pants and freed his straining erection. He took the tip in, sucking gently and lapping his tongue into the slit, causing Anton to groan and buck his hips. Zach removed his mouth with a pop and whispered, “shhh, don’t want your momma to hear,” before licking the vein on the underside, causing Anton to bite down on his lip.
Zach chuckled, the movement on Anton’s cock which was now back in Zach’s mouth caused the younger man to moan, which he had to stifle. Zach used his hands to caress the shaft, paying attention to the sensitive underside while his mouth sucked the tip with great pressure.
Anton held back for a while, longer than he normally managed Zach noted, but within a short time he was thrusting his hips trying to get Zach to take more of him into his mouth, letting soft whimpers fall from his lips.
Zach smiled around the man’s cock and then complied with the silent request, taking Anton’s full length into his mouth. Anton’s eyes rolled back, and he grunted, a “fuck, Zach, God so good” the words coming in breathy whispered gasps.
Zach could feel the tension in Anton’s body, and could tell as the younger man fought harder to keep from thrusting into Zach’s throat that he was close. Zach worked the muscles in his jaw, swallowing Anton impossibly deeper, and then used his hand to caress the underside of Anton’s balls. The squeak that the Russian emitted was the only warning Zach had, but he had been prepared, swallowing Anton’s release and gently using his tongue to lick Anton clean as he pulled off offering him a smirk.
Anton threaded his fingers through Zach’s hair, pulling the older man to him as they still lay on the floor next to the bed. He captured Zach’s mouth in a fierce and probing kiss, licking into his mouth not minding the taste of himself. When he pulled away, he let his forehead rest against Zach’s whispering, “love you.”
Zach smiled, “love you too, baby.”
Anton smirked, a devilish smile, “good. Give me a minute to collect myself and we’ll head home. I’ll take care of you when we get there.”
Zach groaned, knowing that it would be a torturous drive from the Yelchin’s Tarzana home to his own. He sat up and pressed his hand against his own straining erection willing himself to calm down enough to be able to walk out of the house. “Is this my punishment for not telling anyone?”
Anton’s grin was mischievous and delighted, “yep. But I promise the makeup sex when we get home will make it worthwhile.”
Zach shook his head, but laughed. “You miscreant.”
Anton nodded proudly as he sat up and worked himself back into his jeans, pulling the zipper up as he spoke. “Yep. I think this is the only way you will learn your lesson Quinto, honesty is the best policy.”
Zach threaded his fingers through Anton’s and squeezed. “I know. I’m sorry.”
Anton stood pulling Zach with him, “and you’ll be appropriately contrite by the time we get home. So let’s get a move on. I want to get you home; I want a piece of that sweet ass.”
Zach laughed as Anton smacked him on the butt, and then he wrapped Anton into a hug pressing a short kiss into the man’s lips. He waited while the younger man threw things back into the duffel bag he had brought with him, and Zach decided that maybe the wait wouldn’t be so bad. Prolonging the experience would make the release that much more enjoyable, Anton had taught him that. The lecherous grin the younger man threw him as he was zipping the bag shut made Zach smile, there were perks to having a much younger boyfriend, they had an amazingly short refractory period, which Zach was already thinking of way to exploit.