teaching
I guess I feel really out of touch with myself. Not that when I blogged all the time I was more sane-- way not--- but I don't really know how to deal with my new life yet. How do I just go about being what I've always wanted to be? Maybe it's so hard because I never knew THIS is what I wanted to be. I thought I wanted to be a kindergarten teacher, but it turns out that I wanted to be a private teacher. I wanted to be encouraged to have real close relationships with my students without having to focus on 24 other students at the same time. idk. I like the idea of a conventional classroom, but I'm pretty sure it's because it's cleaner. I mean, i would leave it when i went home. I would get a paycheck to tell me why I'm doing this. I would get a new batch of kids at the beginning of each year and not have to worry about how the old one is turning out. Teaching 6 (or 7 or 8 or 9... we'll see when the Crawfords actually stop:)) kids for their entire lives sounds so daunting... so vivid. I mean, I'm going to know if I did a good job or not...
I'm sure that's just the perfectionist and control freak coming out in me. The most important thing I have to focus on is giving these kids to God. Seeing them as God's and not mine and it's really His job to teach them... I'm just the vessel.
btw, spelling is NOT on the curriculum:)
I'm sure that's just the perfectionist and control freak coming out in me. The most important thing I have to focus on is giving these kids to God. Seeing them as God's and not mine and it's really His job to teach them... I'm just the vessel.
btw, spelling is NOT on the curriculum:)