::OnE oF tHoSe DaYs::

[sleeplessnite2]

don't you hate it when you have just, one of those days. maybe for me it will be one of those YEARS. one of those times where, you hate yourself. where, you think everything is wrong, but you kind of laugh at it. although you KNOW something horrible IS WRONG. and then you realize, you have no way to fix what is wrong. only time. time is this huge thing. it changes everything about life. time controls too many things in my life at the moment. it controls too much i dont have control OF. you know, when you were younger, you used to wish you could run away? you could run away to somewhere BRAND NEW. NO ONE knew you. no one knew your past, or what you are known for (negative stuff i'm looking at here, folks.) you know, you wished that you could just start, start all over again. i had one of those days again. i just wanted to leave. all at once. nothing seems to be sorting out, so..why can't i just get the courage to leave? i can't find ways to fix what i've done, and time is making this too hard. so, why can't i just, walk away from all of it? cuz of love. it's so hard to walk away from love. you know there is no one like that one special person. that one who, you just look at and think "yeah, that's them" the one who you look at and inside, you're thinking about how perfect and wonderful they are. even though you know of all these mistakes and negatives about them, to you, they are indeed the most perfect person alive. that's the only reason i'm still here, and...partly sane.

::i'm losing my sanity, day by day tho...::