i don't fucking know.

[sleeplesschild]

have you ever been so depressed that you couldn't even open your eyes because the pain was too bright. have you ever wished you could go back just to fix that one little problem. have you ever prayed so hard for the future that all you did was cry about the past. have you ever wished that you could live a different life. that you could start over. run away. be gone. then be different. have you ever wished that you were dead? have you ever dreamed of what it would be like to not ever have heart ache or to cry with misery.

...i was all that...and more...

i'm still sad. i still cry at night when my mind thinks of those bad times. my heart could love just one little tid bit more, if my mind would let it.
things change sometimes. sometimes the change is huge. like my life.
sometimes it's from drugs.
or horrible relationships.
or sad home life.
sometimes it's all of that combined.
but you know what...all you have to do is keep your head up.
win your battles. don't be afraid of what you're facing.

i dunno what i'm writing.

hmmm...

shit. i just zoned out on my friends list for a few minutes there.
fuck.
now i have a head ache.

i miss so many people. but at the same time...being alone with just about 3 close friends is...i can't even describe it. we're a family. we take care of each other. we're all alike. we all love the shit outta each other.

i wish you knew.

i love you more than anything in my world.