marijuana butter
i thought about you today. and the other night while i was sleeping. i have no idea why my mind still brings you into view every now and again. maybe it's just a small reminder...or maybe a warning...or maybe it's nothing at all. maybe i'm just nervous about your face being in my mind. i don't think things about you like i used to. missing you terribly and wishing i never said the things i did. but it's not that at all anymore. you see, my heart slowing ripped apart for months...until i had nothing left...but shards and broken pieces. that's all fixed now. i'm in love. and he loves me. it's not how it was with you. you were different. you left me broken. you taught me what it is to hurt. but that's not how to think of you now...when i do think of you. when i think of you...i wonder if you're ok, i wonder how you dad is...and even how your brother is doing; even though i hated him. i wonder if you ever think of me, i wonder if you cry over anyone in your new hometown. i wonder if you miss me or your old friends. sometimes, i even think about old times. but i don't miss them...and i don't cry over them. i just think. i just think about how those times will never be completely gone. how i can't just forget them. although they don't hurt anymore...there is still that old...pain...that just never went away.
i'm done writing about that now. i don't know why i started. i don't even know why i'm on my computer. i really shouldn't be. i'm afraid of what i'll write if i really let myself go.
as of right now. my family could probably hate me a little more, but not much. i haven't talked to my sister in months. my dad is on the verge of throwing me out and my mom hates me as well.
i dunno.
at least i have him. my everything. my baby.
indica is getting so big. she's sooo cute. we let her play with an older dog for the first time the other day, she loved it! it was hella funny to watch. such a little puppy with a bigger doggy playin together. :D
i ate myself retarded yesterday. (*where the marijuana butter plays in). my dad knew it too because i was straight burnt. he asked how i got so "fucked up".
i need to quit.
i'm not lying.
i really do need to quit.
i really want to quit.
but the question is; can i quit.
this is the longest i've been home in a few weeks...it's 10:33 now and i've been home since about 6. that's not very long.
there are good habits and there are bad habits. can you tell the difference?
i can. but that doesn't always help.
no one can be certain of their decisions. not even you.
i'm done writing about that now. i don't know why i started. i don't even know why i'm on my computer. i really shouldn't be. i'm afraid of what i'll write if i really let myself go.
as of right now. my family could probably hate me a little more, but not much. i haven't talked to my sister in months. my dad is on the verge of throwing me out and my mom hates me as well.
i dunno.
at least i have him. my everything. my baby.
indica is getting so big. she's sooo cute. we let her play with an older dog for the first time the other day, she loved it! it was hella funny to watch. such a little puppy with a bigger doggy playin together. :D
i ate myself retarded yesterday. (*where the marijuana butter plays in). my dad knew it too because i was straight burnt. he asked how i got so "fucked up".
i need to quit.
i'm not lying.
i really do need to quit.
i really want to quit.
but the question is; can i quit.
this is the longest i've been home in a few weeks...it's 10:33 now and i've been home since about 6. that's not very long.
there are good habits and there are bad habits. can you tell the difference?
i can. but that doesn't always help.
no one can be certain of their decisions. not even you.