Fic: (Un)guarded (24)
Title: (Un)guarded (24)
Fandom: Doctor Who/The Sarah Jane Adventures
Rating: T
Words: 2073
Summary: The Doctor and Sarah spent time thinking as Sarah's grief boils over and they return to Sarah's.
Notes: Aha! I knew I could do it. Well, maybe, possibly, I would like to finish this story this year at some point. :)
--
With Bessie parked to the side, the Doctor and Sarah walked the paved loop around the local park, Sarah's fingers loose in the Doctor's. Neither of them had said much, and the Doctor wondered if it was because there were altogether too many things to discuss, and they didn't know where to begin.
He looked over at Sarah, and knew that was only partially the case. The altogether too many things equalled burden as much as anything else, and it pained the Doctor to see that she was carrying as much as he. He wished he could somehow ease it, making it lighter or even forcing it to disappear completely, but like Peter's death, it was an effect that had many causes.
The lure of escaping their problems had far more than just appeal right now. The Doctor wished he could whisk Sarah away in the TARDIS, distracting her pain and stress with the wonders of the universe. Anywhere, everywhere, another galaxy with the finest accommodations or maybe an asteroid belt that had takeaway that would blow your mind, and to some, actually did.
He didn't mind what she wanted as long as she was happy, and didn't have to think about his song ending. Ood Sigma's earlier appearance replayed itself over and over in his mind. The Doctor pondered what the prophetic message meant for his future. He supposed it was just another thing to add to the pile of random things he had heard throughout the universe that were quickly adding up.
"Anyone can see those wheels spinning for miles around, Doctor. You're thinking too hard," Sarah said, bowing her head as her free hand came up to rub up and down her left arm. It was then that the Doctor noticed Sarah shivering, and realized that the temperature of her fingers had dropped considerably from when they had first started walking.
"And you're nearly frozen. Why didn't you say something?" The Doctor let go of Sarah's hand in order to stop and undo the buttons on the front of his jacket. He then pulled off his jacket and settled it around Sarah's shoulders before wrapping his arms around her for warmth. "This may not be Antarctica, but it still does get quite a bit nippy outside."
"When we came out to look at Bessie, I didn't know we'd wind up out here." Sarah's head went under the Doctor's chin as her arms remained pinned between them. He reached up with one hand, stroking Sarah's hair and revelling in the moment. "Next time, I'll remember I never wind up where I'm supposed to with you and plan accordingly."
Though he didn't see her small smile, he could feel it as her head shifted so that her forehead was touching his chest, and that made him feel better. Maybe there was a simpler way to deal with burden after all.
"Come on," he said, lowering his voice and dropping his arms to take her hand once again. "Let's go home."
--
Having returned to Bessie, Sarah curled up alongside the Doctor using his jacket for a blanket as he drove, keeping one arm around her and the other on the wheel. Sarah stared forward, trying to soak in the moment and not worry about what was going to happen next despite the lingering thoughts in her mind.
After defeating the Trickster, she hadn't expected the Doctor to come back and check on her, to say nothing about him staying and rebuilding Mr. Smith. But so far, he had kept his promises, though they both had admittedly left a lot of work to Jack, Alistair, Liz, and the kids by going to visit Peter's grave and taking a ride in Bessie.
The closure Sarah wanted in her heart from visiting Peter's grave wasn't there. She still felt the slight flutterings of being in love and happy, and the more she tried to close them off, the more she ached. There were only so many times one could have their heart broken before it stopped trying to repair itself and remained broken.
"I wish I could be angry with you," Sarah said quietly, not having realized she said it aloud until he stopped at a traffic light and looked down on her, shifting his arm. From the expression on his face, she moved away from his side completely and sat up straight, pulling the jacket around her as a jacket once again. "Sorry-Just ignore me."
Sarah waved her hand at him before tucking her hair behind her ears, and looking away. There were several moments of silence as the light changed and Bessie lurched forward, the Doctor's eyes remaining on the road with both hands now settled on the wheel.
"Anger is a perfectly acceptable emotion, Sarah. I'm as good as anyone to direct it at," the Doctor said, trying not to let his voice crack as they turned a corner. Sarah looked over to see his jaw going uneven as the wheels once again were showing, and the Doctor was doing his best not to stick his bottom lip out.
"I don't mean it. Honestly. It's just-" Now, Sarah felt bad, though in a way, she was angry at him for showing up in the graveyard and causing so many complications. The tears began welling up in her eyes again, and she bit down on her bottom lip to try and help her curb them as one fell free down her right cheek. The Doctor stopped Bessie at the end of Bannerman Road to reach over and wipe it away.
"I think you do mean it, and it's okay, really. I've caused more than enough trouble today." The gentleness of his touch overwhelmed her, and the tears began to fall in earnest.
He said nothing else, knowing she would come to terms with things in her own way. He drove the rest of the way down Bannerman Road and into Sarah's drive as her tears eventually tapered off into a series of sniffles.
"I hate for Luke to see me like this. I'm such a mess," Sarah said, wiping away tears on the back of her hand. She couldn't control the flow of grief, and the random times at which it seemed to overflow before becoming manageable again.
"Sarah, Luke cares more about your well being than anything else."
"I know. They all do." Sarah sniffled, looking up to the house, wondering about her son and their friends. There had never been such a loving support system around her, and it was undoubtedly different. She couldn't just hide away like she had so many other times over the years.
The Doctor nodded. Grief was one emotion that he understood quite well, especially after surviving the Time War to find himself its only survivor. Sarah looked over at him then, noticing once again the droop of his features as he looked away.
"We'd better be getting inside, hmm?" The Doctor hopped out of Bessie and came around to the other side to offer a hand to help Sarah down. "I'd like to see what exactly Jack and the others have been up to while we've been gone."
Sarah stepped down, noticing the shift in the Doctor's temperament. There was an unexplained sadness to him, and she knew that there were things that they had both experienced that the other had no idea about. She hoped that if he was true to his word and stayed that she would get the chance to know what they were.
He didn't let go of her hand as they entered the house.
--
"Luke, if you would, up and just a little to the left, please." Liz motioned with her hands for Luke, who was standing on Sarah's small stepladder, to move the picture of Sarah, Harry and the Doctor along the odd-shaped wall to match the other pictures Liz had found and framed for him to hang. Luke complied, and stepped down as that was the last picture to hang.
Sarah entered the attic with the Doctor behind her, and the Doctor shot off a two-finger salute to Alistair, who had remained sitting at Sarah's desk watching Liz and Luke's progress. Jack, Clyde, and Rani were nowhere to be found as Sarah moved forward, stepping down off the landing to be closer to Liz and Luke as the Doctor remained near Alistair.
"It looks-Positively marvellous in here." Sarah remarked, looking around at the nearly spotless attic. Every bit of brick, glass, and wood had been fully restored, beyond its original condition. She felt the tears on the edge of her eyes. "How on Earth did you lot manage this?"
"We had a bit of help, Mum. Aunt Liz moved a few things around for more room. We hoped you wouldn't mind." Luke was happy to see his mother's smile as she walked around the attic, slowly taking in the new order of things. He knew change was hard for Sarah, especially within her personal spaces, and that she would adapt the attic's changes to suit her needs.
Sarah stopped in front of Mr. Smith, noticing the new brickwork that had been laid, waiting for the Doctor to install the new panels. The Doctor exchanged glances with Alistair before moving towards Sarah with the intent of comfort, and Sarah turned around before he reached her.
"I don't know how you did this, but thank you. All of you." Sarah looked to her son, Liz, and Alistair before seeing the Doctor's warm smile. Luke came forward and Sarah opened her arms and hugged her son.
"You're welcome, Mum," Luke said, and Liz had never been happier to see such a welcome response to her efforts. She wiped the moisture in her eyes away as she moved towards her husband, who patted his knee in an open silent request. She raised an eyebrow and sighed, turning and perching on his knee as he wrapped an arm around her waist.
"You did good, Lizzie." He whispered towards her ear, kissing her temple as her arm came around his neck, and she smiled, leaning into her husband.
"No, darling, we did amazing," Liz replied, putting one hand on his chest before touching his cheek. "Sometimes, one simple call can make all the difference in the world. Your boys owed me a favour."
"And my men." Alistair corrected her. "Undoubtedly paid their favour in full. I have no idea what you've held over their heads all these years, but I'm not exactly sure I want to know."
He smirked.
"Good, because I made them swear on their oaths as officers to keep that particular secret." Liz looked to Sarah, who was discussing Mr. Smith's installation with Luke and the Doctor. "They would be wise not to trifle with me."
"Rightly so, Mrs. Brigadier. I'd give that piece of personal advice to his men myself if they ever had other ideas," the Doctor said, turning away from Luke and Sarah. Liz paused, speechless as Alistair chuckled and the Doctor winked.
"You still think you're quite clever, don't you?" Liz said.
"Well, of course, was there ever any doubt?" The Doctor smiled. "Although, I sincerely hope that you making a phone call didn't involve stringing Jack up somewhere by his toes. Where is Jack, anyway?"
"Rani and Clyde went out on an errand. The good captain went with them." Liz sighed.
"An errand?" Sarah said, turning towards them. "Doesn't sound like them. Doctor, do you think it's wise for the children to be with him?"
"Clyde offered to make dinner." Luke popped into the conversation at the most random of times when everyone was present. "He thought with everything that's happened that it would be a nice gesture on his behalf-"
"But apparently your cupboards are considerably sparse and he needed supplies, Sarah Jane," Alistair replied, interrupting Luke and keeping the Doctor from speaking. "Harkness volunteered to drive. Young Langer and Miss Chandra are certainly capable enough to handle a situation should it arise."
"What, like encountering some sort of alien in the shape of a vegetable? Really, darling," Liz said to her husband, as the Doctor made several faces and Sarah looked plain concerned. Liz tried to smile at both Sarah and the Doctor. "The children will be fine, Sarah. You'll see. I'm sure if nothing else, Jack can handle that small responsibility."
"I hope you're right, Liz," Sarah said.
Chapter Twenty-Three: Old Acquaintances // Chapter Twenty-Five
Fandom: Doctor Who/The Sarah Jane Adventures
Rating: T
Words: 2073
Summary: The Doctor and Sarah spent time thinking as Sarah's grief boils over and they return to Sarah's.
Notes: Aha! I knew I could do it. Well, maybe, possibly, I would like to finish this story this year at some point. :)
--
With Bessie parked to the side, the Doctor and Sarah walked the paved loop around the local park, Sarah's fingers loose in the Doctor's. Neither of them had said much, and the Doctor wondered if it was because there were altogether too many things to discuss, and they didn't know where to begin.
He looked over at Sarah, and knew that was only partially the case. The altogether too many things equalled burden as much as anything else, and it pained the Doctor to see that she was carrying as much as he. He wished he could somehow ease it, making it lighter or even forcing it to disappear completely, but like Peter's death, it was an effect that had many causes.
The lure of escaping their problems had far more than just appeal right now. The Doctor wished he could whisk Sarah away in the TARDIS, distracting her pain and stress with the wonders of the universe. Anywhere, everywhere, another galaxy with the finest accommodations or maybe an asteroid belt that had takeaway that would blow your mind, and to some, actually did.
He didn't mind what she wanted as long as she was happy, and didn't have to think about his song ending. Ood Sigma's earlier appearance replayed itself over and over in his mind. The Doctor pondered what the prophetic message meant for his future. He supposed it was just another thing to add to the pile of random things he had heard throughout the universe that were quickly adding up.
"Anyone can see those wheels spinning for miles around, Doctor. You're thinking too hard," Sarah said, bowing her head as her free hand came up to rub up and down her left arm. It was then that the Doctor noticed Sarah shivering, and realized that the temperature of her fingers had dropped considerably from when they had first started walking.
"And you're nearly frozen. Why didn't you say something?" The Doctor let go of Sarah's hand in order to stop and undo the buttons on the front of his jacket. He then pulled off his jacket and settled it around Sarah's shoulders before wrapping his arms around her for warmth. "This may not be Antarctica, but it still does get quite a bit nippy outside."
"When we came out to look at Bessie, I didn't know we'd wind up out here." Sarah's head went under the Doctor's chin as her arms remained pinned between them. He reached up with one hand, stroking Sarah's hair and revelling in the moment. "Next time, I'll remember I never wind up where I'm supposed to with you and plan accordingly."
Though he didn't see her small smile, he could feel it as her head shifted so that her forehead was touching his chest, and that made him feel better. Maybe there was a simpler way to deal with burden after all.
"Come on," he said, lowering his voice and dropping his arms to take her hand once again. "Let's go home."
--
Having returned to Bessie, Sarah curled up alongside the Doctor using his jacket for a blanket as he drove, keeping one arm around her and the other on the wheel. Sarah stared forward, trying to soak in the moment and not worry about what was going to happen next despite the lingering thoughts in her mind.
After defeating the Trickster, she hadn't expected the Doctor to come back and check on her, to say nothing about him staying and rebuilding Mr. Smith. But so far, he had kept his promises, though they both had admittedly left a lot of work to Jack, Alistair, Liz, and the kids by going to visit Peter's grave and taking a ride in Bessie.
The closure Sarah wanted in her heart from visiting Peter's grave wasn't there. She still felt the slight flutterings of being in love and happy, and the more she tried to close them off, the more she ached. There were only so many times one could have their heart broken before it stopped trying to repair itself and remained broken.
"I wish I could be angry with you," Sarah said quietly, not having realized she said it aloud until he stopped at a traffic light and looked down on her, shifting his arm. From the expression on his face, she moved away from his side completely and sat up straight, pulling the jacket around her as a jacket once again. "Sorry-Just ignore me."
Sarah waved her hand at him before tucking her hair behind her ears, and looking away. There were several moments of silence as the light changed and Bessie lurched forward, the Doctor's eyes remaining on the road with both hands now settled on the wheel.
"Anger is a perfectly acceptable emotion, Sarah. I'm as good as anyone to direct it at," the Doctor said, trying not to let his voice crack as they turned a corner. Sarah looked over to see his jaw going uneven as the wheels once again were showing, and the Doctor was doing his best not to stick his bottom lip out.
"I don't mean it. Honestly. It's just-" Now, Sarah felt bad, though in a way, she was angry at him for showing up in the graveyard and causing so many complications. The tears began welling up in her eyes again, and she bit down on her bottom lip to try and help her curb them as one fell free down her right cheek. The Doctor stopped Bessie at the end of Bannerman Road to reach over and wipe it away.
"I think you do mean it, and it's okay, really. I've caused more than enough trouble today." The gentleness of his touch overwhelmed her, and the tears began to fall in earnest.
He said nothing else, knowing she would come to terms with things in her own way. He drove the rest of the way down Bannerman Road and into Sarah's drive as her tears eventually tapered off into a series of sniffles.
"I hate for Luke to see me like this. I'm such a mess," Sarah said, wiping away tears on the back of her hand. She couldn't control the flow of grief, and the random times at which it seemed to overflow before becoming manageable again.
"Sarah, Luke cares more about your well being than anything else."
"I know. They all do." Sarah sniffled, looking up to the house, wondering about her son and their friends. There had never been such a loving support system around her, and it was undoubtedly different. She couldn't just hide away like she had so many other times over the years.
The Doctor nodded. Grief was one emotion that he understood quite well, especially after surviving the Time War to find himself its only survivor. Sarah looked over at him then, noticing once again the droop of his features as he looked away.
"We'd better be getting inside, hmm?" The Doctor hopped out of Bessie and came around to the other side to offer a hand to help Sarah down. "I'd like to see what exactly Jack and the others have been up to while we've been gone."
Sarah stepped down, noticing the shift in the Doctor's temperament. There was an unexplained sadness to him, and she knew that there were things that they had both experienced that the other had no idea about. She hoped that if he was true to his word and stayed that she would get the chance to know what they were.
He didn't let go of her hand as they entered the house.
--
"Luke, if you would, up and just a little to the left, please." Liz motioned with her hands for Luke, who was standing on Sarah's small stepladder, to move the picture of Sarah, Harry and the Doctor along the odd-shaped wall to match the other pictures Liz had found and framed for him to hang. Luke complied, and stepped down as that was the last picture to hang.
Sarah entered the attic with the Doctor behind her, and the Doctor shot off a two-finger salute to Alistair, who had remained sitting at Sarah's desk watching Liz and Luke's progress. Jack, Clyde, and Rani were nowhere to be found as Sarah moved forward, stepping down off the landing to be closer to Liz and Luke as the Doctor remained near Alistair.
"It looks-Positively marvellous in here." Sarah remarked, looking around at the nearly spotless attic. Every bit of brick, glass, and wood had been fully restored, beyond its original condition. She felt the tears on the edge of her eyes. "How on Earth did you lot manage this?"
"We had a bit of help, Mum. Aunt Liz moved a few things around for more room. We hoped you wouldn't mind." Luke was happy to see his mother's smile as she walked around the attic, slowly taking in the new order of things. He knew change was hard for Sarah, especially within her personal spaces, and that she would adapt the attic's changes to suit her needs.
Sarah stopped in front of Mr. Smith, noticing the new brickwork that had been laid, waiting for the Doctor to install the new panels. The Doctor exchanged glances with Alistair before moving towards Sarah with the intent of comfort, and Sarah turned around before he reached her.
"I don't know how you did this, but thank you. All of you." Sarah looked to her son, Liz, and Alistair before seeing the Doctor's warm smile. Luke came forward and Sarah opened her arms and hugged her son.
"You're welcome, Mum," Luke said, and Liz had never been happier to see such a welcome response to her efforts. She wiped the moisture in her eyes away as she moved towards her husband, who patted his knee in an open silent request. She raised an eyebrow and sighed, turning and perching on his knee as he wrapped an arm around her waist.
"You did good, Lizzie." He whispered towards her ear, kissing her temple as her arm came around his neck, and she smiled, leaning into her husband.
"No, darling, we did amazing," Liz replied, putting one hand on his chest before touching his cheek. "Sometimes, one simple call can make all the difference in the world. Your boys owed me a favour."
"And my men." Alistair corrected her. "Undoubtedly paid their favour in full. I have no idea what you've held over their heads all these years, but I'm not exactly sure I want to know."
He smirked.
"Good, because I made them swear on their oaths as officers to keep that particular secret." Liz looked to Sarah, who was discussing Mr. Smith's installation with Luke and the Doctor. "They would be wise not to trifle with me."
"Rightly so, Mrs. Brigadier. I'd give that piece of personal advice to his men myself if they ever had other ideas," the Doctor said, turning away from Luke and Sarah. Liz paused, speechless as Alistair chuckled and the Doctor winked.
"You still think you're quite clever, don't you?" Liz said.
"Well, of course, was there ever any doubt?" The Doctor smiled. "Although, I sincerely hope that you making a phone call didn't involve stringing Jack up somewhere by his toes. Where is Jack, anyway?"
"Rani and Clyde went out on an errand. The good captain went with them." Liz sighed.
"An errand?" Sarah said, turning towards them. "Doesn't sound like them. Doctor, do you think it's wise for the children to be with him?"
"Clyde offered to make dinner." Luke popped into the conversation at the most random of times when everyone was present. "He thought with everything that's happened that it would be a nice gesture on his behalf-"
"But apparently your cupboards are considerably sparse and he needed supplies, Sarah Jane," Alistair replied, interrupting Luke and keeping the Doctor from speaking. "Harkness volunteered to drive. Young Langer and Miss Chandra are certainly capable enough to handle a situation should it arise."
"What, like encountering some sort of alien in the shape of a vegetable? Really, darling," Liz said to her husband, as the Doctor made several faces and Sarah looked plain concerned. Liz tried to smile at both Sarah and the Doctor. "The children will be fine, Sarah. You'll see. I'm sure if nothing else, Jack can handle that small responsibility."
"I hope you're right, Liz," Sarah said.
Chapter Twenty-Three: Old Acquaintances // Chapter Twenty-Five