a discourse on drinking when you have friends that don't drink

[sleepingscars]

to be more precise, actually, this article shold be called something along the lines of "what i think of people that party even though they have a friend that doesn't party and has no other friends

Comments

[sleepingscars]

well. i suppose this can be traced back to the debate of which is more selfish.....someone killing themselves and thus leaving family and friends forever, or friends and family forcing someone to stay alive and hope to hell that they'll get out of the rut some day?

thats a very skewed comparison, though, as it is easily arguable that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

i'm sorry.

i have no more arguments, no more excuses, and no more redeeming qualities. to lay it all out on the table, i'm pathetic, selfish, needy, bitchy, and apparently, sarcastic to the point of appearing malicious. in all honesty, i never meant for anyone to get hurt; traditionally, i'm the one who either gets hurt or causes the problem, and i've always been the one begging for forgiveness.

a lot of the time, i just realize that i'm not worth very much at all. and then i realize that even thinking such a thing makes me even more pathetic. it's a vicious cycle in my head, and i wish i knew how to begin figuring out how to stop it.

in conclusion, i have nothing useful to say. just more whining. i have no reasons or excuses. i'm selfish and lazy. and i'm sorry, even though words are cheap and don't mean a thing sometimes. i've just lapsed in self-pity to the point of not attempting to get free of it without the help of someone else, if that makes any sense.

yeah.

[anniforscia]

I don't understand why you think all of this about yourself. And if you actually do believe all of the shit you keep saying, why are you content to continue being that way without doing anything about it?

[sleepingscars]

well, i'm not content with it.....as i said, i don't have the faintest idea as to where to begin trying to change. and i think these things because some of them are thing people have told me. others are just feelings i've gotten.

i think the heart of the matter is that i'm somewhere along the lines of insane, and if i'm not, then i'm blind to everything true, and i don't really like it, but i don't know where to start to make things better.