failing
I hate today, and I hate my thesis. Writing the introduction is SO FRUSTRATING. I don't even want to go into all the bits of why because it will just make me want to bang my head against a wall. I eeked out a single first paragraph in about three or four hours and then had to scrap it and start over. It's due tomorrow, and I have no idea if I'll be able to get it done.
I started crying during my clarinet lesson today. I'm out of shape and sounded like shit, because I haven't been practicing, and I have concerts and juries coming up in just over two weeks and I would HATE to be disappointed yet again. My problem with playing is the same wall I'm hitting with my thesis. I am fine and solid, but I just can't reach the level of confidence and expression and mastery that I want to--to really SAY something, expressively in music and argumentatively in my thesis. I don't know why I keep failing at this.
I started crying during my clarinet lesson today. I'm out of shape and sounded like shit, because I haven't been practicing, and I have concerts and juries coming up in just over two weeks and I would HATE to be disappointed yet again. My problem with playing is the same wall I'm hitting with my thesis. I am fine and solid, but I just can't reach the level of confidence and expression and mastery that I want to--to really SAY something, expressively in music and argumentatively in my thesis. I don't know why I keep failing at this.