Does Alice Cooper dine on pigmy owl, or is it just a fowl rumor?
That was the title of the e-mail I just sent to one, Alice Cooper, mutant DJ and shock-rocker. This is the e-mail I sent him:
Dear Alice,
First off, I am a huge fan. I love your sense of humor and all the first hand stories you tell about the gods of rock, back in the glory days of metal.
I recently found an article in the Phoenix New Times about a chef named Kaz Yamamoto. I'm sure at this point you are rolling your eyes because you have received hundreds of e-mails on the subject in the last few weeks. However I would be honored if you would answer mine. The article mentions you, as well as Nugent and other local (and national) celebrities dining on endangered species and saguaro cactus. There is speculation that this is some kind of hoax. However unless the author went and got permission from all the public figures mentioned in the piece, the paper runs the risk of being sued for millions, doesn't it? You were personally quoted in the article, it even sounded like something you "might" say. Then again, that could have been the trick: using celebrity names and quotes that sound almost believable. I think most people wouldn't be surprised to learn you have eaten penguin and bichon frize.
If you know anything about the validity of this article please let me know.
I apologize if this is something you've already mentioned on your show. I am not able to listen to you all the time, and when I can't, I cry.
I hope to hear from you soon, perhaps we can meet at VooDoo Daddy's and eat alligator meat together.
With love from my tender juicy heart,
-Jesse
And... this is the e-mail I started, that I almost sent him...
Dear Alice,
First off, I am a huge fan. I wish I was your son, you would be the coolest dad ever. You are the sexiest man on radio and my girl friend wants to do you. I would want to hang out with you sometime, but if Wayne and Garth aren't worthy to, what chance do I have?
Quote of the Whatever-
"Hello and welcome to "Nights with Alice Cooper", I'm Alice Cooper... and you're not."
"It's amazing, there are now one billion words in the english language, and you only know four of them"
-Alice Cooper
Dear Alice,
First off, I am a huge fan. I love your sense of humor and all the first hand stories you tell about the gods of rock, back in the glory days of metal.
I recently found an article in the Phoenix New Times about a chef named Kaz Yamamoto. I'm sure at this point you are rolling your eyes because you have received hundreds of e-mails on the subject in the last few weeks. However I would be honored if you would answer mine. The article mentions you, as well as Nugent and other local (and national) celebrities dining on endangered species and saguaro cactus. There is speculation that this is some kind of hoax. However unless the author went and got permission from all the public figures mentioned in the piece, the paper runs the risk of being sued for millions, doesn't it? You were personally quoted in the article, it even sounded like something you "might" say. Then again, that could have been the trick: using celebrity names and quotes that sound almost believable. I think most people wouldn't be surprised to learn you have eaten penguin and bichon frize.
If you know anything about the validity of this article please let me know.
I apologize if this is something you've already mentioned on your show. I am not able to listen to you all the time, and when I can't, I cry.
I hope to hear from you soon, perhaps we can meet at VooDoo Daddy's and eat alligator meat together.
With love from my tender juicy heart,
-Jesse
And... this is the e-mail I started, that I almost sent him...
Dear Alice,
First off, I am a huge fan. I wish I was your son, you would be the coolest dad ever. You are the sexiest man on radio and my girl friend wants to do you. I would want to hang out with you sometime, but if Wayne and Garth aren't worthy to, what chance do I have?
Quote of the Whatever-
"Hello and welcome to "Nights with Alice Cooper", I'm Alice Cooper... and you're not."
"It's amazing, there are now one billion words in the english language, and you only know four of them"
-Alice Cooper