Fic: Why I Am Gay by Remus Lupin
A Remus/Sirius fic in which Remus writes down the reasons for why he's gay. (Harry Potter; MWPP; PG-13)
Sequel to Why I Am Gay by Sirius Black
Written for scarvesnhats
October 27 Prompt:Scarves and hats.
Title: Why I Am Gay by Remus Lupin
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1440
Disclaimer: JK Rowling's boys, not mine.
Notes: Written as a sequel to Why I Am Gay by Sirius Black and dedicated to busaikko, who suggested I write it.
Before class one day, Remus asked Sirius to borrow a hat and scarf (You have enough scarves to hang the entire school, you rich prat, Remus teased) since Peter had apparently taken Remus's by accident. He opened the drawer and took out the items. As he was about to close it, a crumpled piece of parchment fell to the floor. Remus picked it up and, against his better judgment, opened it. He quickly read the list and laughed. Sirius walked out of the bathroom at that moment, and Remus hastily threw the paper back into the drawer.
"Got 'em?"
"Yes, thanks," replied Remus as he carefully put the scarf and hat on.
"I'll wait for you after class, okay?"
"Sure," Remus said, trying to stop a huge smile from forming on his face.
All through Muggle Studies class, Remus kept thinking about the list he'd found in Sirius's drawer, the reasons for why he's gay. What he had read that morning amused Remus so much, he too decided to write his own list.
After class, Remus met Sirius at their usual spot behind Hagrid's hut. He walked up to Sirius, kissed him, and handed him the parchment.
"Here."
"What's this?" Sirius asked as he read the title. He glanced at Remus. "How did you--?"
"I found your list."
"You went through my stuff, Rem!" yelled Sirius. "How could you?"
"I didn't. It fell out when I was looking for the scarf. Calm down."
A flustered Sirius glared at Remus but then looked down at the paper and read through it.
Why I Am Gay
by Remus Lupin
Sirius made me gay. And I'm grateful to him.
Actually, nobody made Remus gay. But Remus liked to think it was Sirius who brought out the gayness in him. If it weren't for Sirius, Remus might not have acknowledged this truth. It's not that Remus had never fancied boys. In fact, he developed a small crush on James upon returning for fifth year when he saw how kind puberty had been to the Potter lad. Alas, the attraction was short-lived as puberty had also been kind to James's ego. Remus often thought about kissing boys; however, he thought about kissing girls too.
But then Sirius kissed him one summer day at the Potters and everything changed. Everything made sense. And though he was hesitant at first, Remus knew that he wanted this connection with Sirius. Sirius, the only person who made him happy, nervous, lucky, anxious, content, and nauseous all at the same time.
I am neat and clean.
Remus needed to have his hair combed, his clothes pressed (no matter how shabby or old), his shoes polished, and his bed made every day before he went out. He craved order in his life. The exception to this occurred after his and Sirius's snogging sessions, which always left Sirius looking awfully disheveled. With his untucked shirt, ruffled hair, and loose tie, Sirius's sloppiness was the only mess that Remus gladly welcomed.
I'd rather shag Snape than Lily.
Remus didn't see Lily as beautiful, not in the way James and Professor Slughorn did. Aside from her radiant auburn hair, Lily was just another girl; she certainly was no Bellatrix Black. Snape, on the other hand, had a bewitching aura around him. He was mysterious, sly, quite clever (especially in Potions class where he always beat James and Sirius), and looked like he knew all the secrets in the world. Although Remus didn't consider Snape attractive--the boy really ought to wash his hair--Remus was mildly fascinated by him. Besides, it'd be more fun to see just how big Snape's "wand" actually was.
I love the color pink.
One of Remus's fantasies was to clothe Sirius in pink from head to toe and stare at him all day.
I'm terrified of girls.
Remus got tongue-tied and quite nervous whenever a girl talked to him. He ignored girls as best as he could (pretending he didn't hear them and quickly walking away proved an effective method), but some girls were too pushy to be snubbed so easily. Last year, a female Ravenclaw who'd fancied Remus for three years accosted him right before the end of a Care of Magical Creatures class. She ran up to him, grabbed his robe, and demanded to know why he had turned her down again. Remus had been so startled--Professor Kettleburn's Kneazle had died that day and the whole class had been in silent mourning throughout the lesson--he mumbled something about not being good enough for her, which was absolute rubbish as she wasn't even pretty (though she was especially smart). The one girl he tolerated was Lily Evans, whom he was only fond of since she was his best mate's girlfriend. And when Peter insinuated otherwise, Remus almost punched him. Almost, since Remus hit like a girl.
I hit like a girl.
One time during sixth year, James almost made Sirius cry by relentlessly teasing him about his disinterest in girls. Remus walked up to James and punched him in the stomach. But instead of flinching, James merely laughed and said, "I hope you were trying to tickle me, mate, because that's the shoddiest punch ever thrown by a bloke. You fight like a girl!" Then James and Peter laughed and chanted "Remus hits like a girl" over and over. Remus didn't remind them that he certainly did not hit like a girl when he turned into a bloody werewolf once a month.
I adore kittens!
Remus believed kittens to be the best animals that ever lived.
I like Quidditch solely for the boys.
Aside from supporting James, Remus watched every game to see sweaty, burly teenage boys with sticks of wood between their legs. James, believing Remus to be a true Quidditch fan, gave him a poster of the Wimbourne Wasps' Beater for his fifteenth birthday. A confused Remus hung it beside his bed though he wasn't very fond of it. Then one night, with his hand down his pants and his glazed eyes staring fervently at the handsome player straddling his Nimbus, Remus decided the poster was one of the best presents he'd ever received.
I'm a werewolf. Enough said.
Remus didn't think any girl would accept him. Or control him.
I can't wait to shag my boyfriend.
Although Remus was also a virgin and a bit nervous about the first time, he was anxious to try it. If just kissing and touching felt so good, he wanted to know what it'd feel like once they did everything else. But ever since Sirius explained that sex would completely change their friendship--and potentially destroy it in case they ever broke up--they agreed to wait a while longer. And when a blushing Sirius also admitted to Remus that he was scared of doing that so soon, Remus decided not to push the matter.
Remus added a notation: But I'll wait forever if I have to.
He really, really hoped he wouldn't have to wait that long, though.
I have a tiny crush on Regulus Black.
Remus knew it was wrong to fancy his boyfriend's baby brother. But Remus didn't want Regulus; he never had. He simply considered Regulus to be the second most beautiful boy at Hogwarts and, contrary to Sirius's opinion, not as nasty as his Slytherin friends. But ever since Remus suspected that Snape and a few other boys liked Regulus (he was prettier than half the Slytherin girls), he didn't think too much about the little Black anymore.
"What?!" Sirius glanced up at Remus with shock in his eyes. "Regulus! My brother? Are you kidding?"
"Shit." Remus had meant to erase that.
"Remus?"
"I, I don't, really. I was sort of joking," Remus tried to explain as Sirius scowled at him. "And, and it was a long time ago, before you. And it was tiny."
Remus expressed this by holding up his thumb and forefinger together. Sirius stared at him for a few seconds more before looking down at the paper again. Remus held his breath as Sirius read the last point.
I am gay because I love Sirius Black, and I always will.
Sirius met Remus's eyes as he returned the paper. Remus put it in his pocket and nervously chewed his lip as he looked at Sirius.
"I love kittens, too," said Sirius quietly.
Remus laughed.
"Um, that last bit. You do?"
"I do," replied Remus. "Do you?"
Sirius smiled. "Of course I do. It's the best part of being gay, isn't it?"
Remus grabbed Sirius by his scarf, pulled him flat against his body, and kissed him. Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus.
"Maybe we should rethink the 'waiting to shag' idea," said Sirius as their lips parted.
"No rush," said a smiling Remus.
"Hey, Remus? Don't ever go through my things again," warned Sirius.
"Shut up, or I'll leave you for Regulus," teased Remus.
"Or Snape," added a laughing Sirius before leaning in for another kiss.
Sequel to Why I Am Gay by Sirius Black
Written for scarvesnhats
October 27 Prompt:Scarves and hats.
Title: Why I Am Gay by Remus Lupin
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1440
Disclaimer: JK Rowling's boys, not mine.
Notes: Written as a sequel to Why I Am Gay by Sirius Black and dedicated to busaikko, who suggested I write it.
Before class one day, Remus asked Sirius to borrow a hat and scarf (You have enough scarves to hang the entire school, you rich prat, Remus teased) since Peter had apparently taken Remus's by accident. He opened the drawer and took out the items. As he was about to close it, a crumpled piece of parchment fell to the floor. Remus picked it up and, against his better judgment, opened it. He quickly read the list and laughed. Sirius walked out of the bathroom at that moment, and Remus hastily threw the paper back into the drawer.
"Got 'em?"
"Yes, thanks," replied Remus as he carefully put the scarf and hat on.
"I'll wait for you after class, okay?"
"Sure," Remus said, trying to stop a huge smile from forming on his face.
All through Muggle Studies class, Remus kept thinking about the list he'd found in Sirius's drawer, the reasons for why he's gay. What he had read that morning amused Remus so much, he too decided to write his own list.
After class, Remus met Sirius at their usual spot behind Hagrid's hut. He walked up to Sirius, kissed him, and handed him the parchment.
"Here."
"What's this?" Sirius asked as he read the title. He glanced at Remus. "How did you--?"
"I found your list."
"You went through my stuff, Rem!" yelled Sirius. "How could you?"
"I didn't. It fell out when I was looking for the scarf. Calm down."
A flustered Sirius glared at Remus but then looked down at the paper and read through it.
Why I Am Gay
by Remus Lupin
Sirius made me gay. And I'm grateful to him.
Actually, nobody made Remus gay. But Remus liked to think it was Sirius who brought out the gayness in him. If it weren't for Sirius, Remus might not have acknowledged this truth. It's not that Remus had never fancied boys. In fact, he developed a small crush on James upon returning for fifth year when he saw how kind puberty had been to the Potter lad. Alas, the attraction was short-lived as puberty had also been kind to James's ego. Remus often thought about kissing boys; however, he thought about kissing girls too.
But then Sirius kissed him one summer day at the Potters and everything changed. Everything made sense. And though he was hesitant at first, Remus knew that he wanted this connection with Sirius. Sirius, the only person who made him happy, nervous, lucky, anxious, content, and nauseous all at the same time.
I am neat and clean.
Remus needed to have his hair combed, his clothes pressed (no matter how shabby or old), his shoes polished, and his bed made every day before he went out. He craved order in his life. The exception to this occurred after his and Sirius's snogging sessions, which always left Sirius looking awfully disheveled. With his untucked shirt, ruffled hair, and loose tie, Sirius's sloppiness was the only mess that Remus gladly welcomed.
I'd rather shag Snape than Lily.
Remus didn't see Lily as beautiful, not in the way James and Professor Slughorn did. Aside from her radiant auburn hair, Lily was just another girl; she certainly was no Bellatrix Black. Snape, on the other hand, had a bewitching aura around him. He was mysterious, sly, quite clever (especially in Potions class where he always beat James and Sirius), and looked like he knew all the secrets in the world. Although Remus didn't consider Snape attractive--the boy really ought to wash his hair--Remus was mildly fascinated by him. Besides, it'd be more fun to see just how big Snape's "wand" actually was.
I love the color pink.
One of Remus's fantasies was to clothe Sirius in pink from head to toe and stare at him all day.
I'm terrified of girls.
Remus got tongue-tied and quite nervous whenever a girl talked to him. He ignored girls as best as he could (pretending he didn't hear them and quickly walking away proved an effective method), but some girls were too pushy to be snubbed so easily. Last year, a female Ravenclaw who'd fancied Remus for three years accosted him right before the end of a Care of Magical Creatures class. She ran up to him, grabbed his robe, and demanded to know why he had turned her down again. Remus had been so startled--Professor Kettleburn's Kneazle had died that day and the whole class had been in silent mourning throughout the lesson--he mumbled something about not being good enough for her, which was absolute rubbish as she wasn't even pretty (though she was especially smart). The one girl he tolerated was Lily Evans, whom he was only fond of since she was his best mate's girlfriend. And when Peter insinuated otherwise, Remus almost punched him. Almost, since Remus hit like a girl.
I hit like a girl.
One time during sixth year, James almost made Sirius cry by relentlessly teasing him about his disinterest in girls. Remus walked up to James and punched him in the stomach. But instead of flinching, James merely laughed and said, "I hope you were trying to tickle me, mate, because that's the shoddiest punch ever thrown by a bloke. You fight like a girl!" Then James and Peter laughed and chanted "Remus hits like a girl" over and over. Remus didn't remind them that he certainly did not hit like a girl when he turned into a bloody werewolf once a month.
I adore kittens!
Remus believed kittens to be the best animals that ever lived.
I like Quidditch solely for the boys.
Aside from supporting James, Remus watched every game to see sweaty, burly teenage boys with sticks of wood between their legs. James, believing Remus to be a true Quidditch fan, gave him a poster of the Wimbourne Wasps' Beater for his fifteenth birthday. A confused Remus hung it beside his bed though he wasn't very fond of it. Then one night, with his hand down his pants and his glazed eyes staring fervently at the handsome player straddling his Nimbus, Remus decided the poster was one of the best presents he'd ever received.
I'm a werewolf. Enough said.
Remus didn't think any girl would accept him. Or control him.
I can't wait to shag my boyfriend.
Although Remus was also a virgin and a bit nervous about the first time, he was anxious to try it. If just kissing and touching felt so good, he wanted to know what it'd feel like once they did everything else. But ever since Sirius explained that sex would completely change their friendship--and potentially destroy it in case they ever broke up--they agreed to wait a while longer. And when a blushing Sirius also admitted to Remus that he was scared of doing that so soon, Remus decided not to push the matter.
Remus added a notation: But I'll wait forever if I have to.
He really, really hoped he wouldn't have to wait that long, though.
I have a tiny crush on Regulus Black.
Remus knew it was wrong to fancy his boyfriend's baby brother. But Remus didn't want Regulus; he never had. He simply considered Regulus to be the second most beautiful boy at Hogwarts and, contrary to Sirius's opinion, not as nasty as his Slytherin friends. But ever since Remus suspected that Snape and a few other boys liked Regulus (he was prettier than half the Slytherin girls), he didn't think too much about the little Black anymore.
"What?!" Sirius glanced up at Remus with shock in his eyes. "Regulus! My brother? Are you kidding?"
"Shit." Remus had meant to erase that.
"Remus?"
"I, I don't, really. I was sort of joking," Remus tried to explain as Sirius scowled at him. "And, and it was a long time ago, before you. And it was tiny."
Remus expressed this by holding up his thumb and forefinger together. Sirius stared at him for a few seconds more before looking down at the paper again. Remus held his breath as Sirius read the last point.
I am gay because I love Sirius Black, and I always will.
Sirius met Remus's eyes as he returned the paper. Remus put it in his pocket and nervously chewed his lip as he looked at Sirius.
"I love kittens, too," said Sirius quietly.
Remus laughed.
"Um, that last bit. You do?"
"I do," replied Remus. "Do you?"
Sirius smiled. "Of course I do. It's the best part of being gay, isn't it?"
Remus grabbed Sirius by his scarf, pulled him flat against his body, and kissed him. Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus.
"Maybe we should rethink the 'waiting to shag' idea," said Sirius as their lips parted.
"No rush," said a smiling Remus.
"Hey, Remus? Don't ever go through my things again," warned Sirius.
"Shut up, or I'll leave you for Regulus," teased Remus.
"Or Snape," added a laughing Sirius before leaning in for another kiss.