Fic: Spring Forward - April 20 & 21 & 22
Part 10 - Sirius confronts Remus after he discovers the truth about his father and Regulus. (Harry Potter; Pre-Azkaban; PG-13)
Written for wellymuck
Title: The Fight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,000
Disclaimer: JK Rowling's boys, not mine.
Summary: Sirius and Remus fight over Remus's secret about the Blacks.
Previous: April 1&2, April 3&4, April 5, April 6, April 7&8&9, April 10&11, April 12&13 April 14&15&16, April 17&18&19
April 20, 1979
Remus Lupin exited the small closet with a mop in his hand. As an unofficial caretaker at St. Mungo’s Hospital, he had the responsibility to make sure everything was clean and white-very, very white.
“Are you taking a break soon?”
Remus looked to his right and saw Regulus Black standing close to him. He stood with his hands in his trouser pockets and a black, light jacket over his grey shirt.
“Um, no, but do you think the floor will still be here in an hour?” asked Remus with a laugh.
Regulus, to Remus’s surprise, laughed softly. Remus set the mop down by the closet door and motioned for the young Black to follow him.
They exited through a door and found themselves outside in one of the hospital’s outdoor gardens. They sat down on a stone bench. Remus and Regulus were not friends. They never had been and probably never would be. But since meeting again after several years the previous day, Remus and Regulus had formed a silent bond worrying about Regulus’s father, Orion Black, who had been in St. Mungo’s for several days now.
“Have you heard anything?” asked Regulus as soon as they sat.
Remus shook his head. “No, but I am keeping my ears open.”
Regulus nodded.
“It’s serious, though.”
“What?”
“He’s in serious condition,” said Remus quietly.
“I figured that much,” said Regulus. “Did you tell him?”
“No.” Regulus was against his estranged brother, Sirius, knowing anything about Mr. Black. Remus wanted to tell Sirius but his attempt at doing so the night before had failed.
“He didn’t want to know, huh?”
Remus lied. “No, I just didn’t tell him.”
Regulus sighed as he said, “He won’t care. He was never like us, never had the same beliefs.”
“Beliefs? What exactly are those beliefs, Regulus?” asked a curious Remus.
Regulus turned away from him and shook his head. “You wouldn’t understand. Sirius didn’t either, and he was a Black.”
“You’re talking about all that fanatical, pureblood mania that’s now making its way out into the open, right?” Lately, several wizards and witches had been making public speeches and sending out mail with invitations to join a growing group dedicated to keeping pureblood wizards as the majority
Regulus faced Remus again. “It’s not fanatical,” retorted Regulus.
“Please. You lot are obsessed with it and now you’re trying to get others to think the same shit,” said Remus, his face reddening with frustration more than anger.
“We’re just trying to make things right,” explained Regulus.
“For who?” demanded Remus.
“For our kind. It seems now almost anyone can be a wizard or witch. We’re trying to preserve our line,” said Regulus, his face just as red as Remus’s.
“So because I’m not pureblood, I’m not a real wizard?”
Regulus bit his lip before answering with a firm “No.”
“Fuck you, Regulus,” cursed Remus as he turned away. There was a tense moment of silence before Remus said something: “What does Professor Dumbledore have to say about all this?”
Regulus rolled his eyes. “Nothing. He doesn’t think the little children should be told anything about the big, bad world.”
“It’s brainwashing is what it is,” said Remus.
Regulus scoffed. “Oh, is it? How different is it from what the Ministry and Sirius do to the Muggles?”
“What?”
“Memory charms, obliterating their minds. Aren’t these forms of brainwashing too?”
Remus laughed harshly. “That’s total rubbish, Regulus. Those are done to protect them.”
“Well, that’s what we’re doing too!” shouted Regulus.
“What you’re doing is pitting our people against each other. And stop saying ‘we’ like you’re doing anything-aren’t you still in school?”
Regulus frowned. Remus shook his head, thinking this had been a mistake. He stood and was about to walk back inside when Regulus said, “He was always so different.”
“Who?” asked Remus curiously.
“Sirius.”
Remus sat back down.
“I don’t know how to explain it; he just wasn’t like me. He never liked Quidditch, for one. Me and my father were crazy about it, though. And he didn’t talk much about what he liked to do, or anything like that. He only talked about you lot whenever I asked him to do something with me. He did care about his hair; that I always knew.”
“He still does,” said Remus with a laugh.
Regulus laughed too. “Yeah? He got along well enough with my parents. You might not think so given that he chose to leave but he did. He only didn’t agree with some things they did. You know something, though? I still don’t know why he left. Mum wouldn’t tell me, and my father pretended not to hear my questions.”
“He didn’t want to leave.”
“He told you why, then?”
Remus shook his head even though he did know why.
Regulus looked down at his hands. “Maybe one day I’ll ask him.”
Remus nodded and stood. “I’m going inside; I have to get back to work.”
Regulus stood too. “Lupin, what I said: it’s who I am; it’s nothing personal.”
Remus smiled dryly. “It’s always personal. See you later.”
April 22, 1979
“June 1st. That’s less than two months away.”
Sirius nodded in agreement. “I know, but Mr. Potter and some other Ministry folk are leaving on a trip for three months in mid-June. Since Lily wants a summer wedding, she and James decided to do it before then.”
“That’s fast,” said Remus. He and Sirius were sitting on the sofa in Sirius’s living room, their legs propped up on the coffee table as they discussed their friends’ wedding plans. Although James Potter and Lily Evans had only become engaged earlier this month, their wedding ceremony was already planned for the summer.
“Family is everything to them,” said Sirius nonchalantly.
Remus merely nodded. Lately, he would tense up whenever someone mentioned the words ‘family,’ ‘brother,’ or ‘father.’ Remus had been keeping the secret about Sirius’s ill father for four days, and he felt more uneasy than ever. Still, he wouldn’t tell Sirius, as Sirius never wanted anything to do with his family again.
“The engagement party’s in two days. Want to be my date?” asked a smiling Sirius.
“It’s better than going alone, I guess,” joked Remus
Sirius hit his arm. “You sure you can go? You’ve been working non-stop at the hospital. You never answer my owls anymore.”
Remus quickly looked away. “It’s busy, Sirius.”
“I’m just playing, Rem,” said Sirius softly as he reached over and kissed Remus’s dry lips. When they parted, Sirius stood. “Let me go get today’s puzzle. There are some clues that I can’t figure out.”
A knock on the door made Remus sit up straight. “Sirius, are you expecting somebody?” he asked loudly.
“No, but can you get it?” Sirius called out from the bedroom.
Remus walked to the door and opened it. His face lost its color and his eyes widened as he stared at Regulus. “What-what are you doing here?”
“I have to tell him. Is he here?” asked a solemn Regulus.
Remus shook his head frantically. “No, no, no. You can’t tell him. You said he doesn’t want to know and he’s practically told me the same thing.”
“Can I speak to him?”
“Regulus, wait, wait. This is a big deal; you can’t just spring it on him,” said Remus desperately.
“You said I should tell him.”
“Okay, okay. But let me talk to him first. You wait here,” said Remus. Remus shut the door and ran to the bedroom, almost running into Sirius.
“Whoa! Who’s here?”
Remus grabbed Sirius’s arms and pushed him back into the room. “Sirius, I have to tell you something.” He held Sirius’s face in both hands. “It’s about your father. Your father’s sick in the hospital. I’ve been checking on him but he’s been sick for almost a week now and the Healers aren’t able to help him. They think he was poisoned but they don’t know for sure. And Regulus is here and he wants to tell you and I think you should listen-”
“-Listen? What? My father-you’ve seen my father? And Regulus?”
Remus pointed out the door. “Your brother’s here. Just listen to him; he has a lot he wants to say to you.”
Sirius roughly pulled himself away from Remus and stared at him, his bushy brows furrowed deeply. “You knew all this?”
Remus nodded. “I wanted to tell you.”
Sirius pushed Remus onto the bed. “Wait here.”
Remus ran both hands through his hair, feeling very nervous and scared. He listened for voices but heard only muffled sounds. Sirius had apparently decided to talk to Regulus outside the flat; therefore, Remus couldn’t hear anything. He waited for what seemed like hours but was actually only two or three minutes. Remus jumped when he heard the door slam. He cautiously walked to the bedroom door and exited. In the living room, he saw Sirius-his face flushed and sweaty with his hands in his fists-leaning against the door.
“How could you not tell me?”
Remus walked to him, wisely stopping a few feet away. “I thought you wouldn’t want to know. You said-”
“It’s my father,” interrupted Sirius. “My family. You even became friends with Regulus.”
Remus shook his head. “We’re not friends; we only-”
“-Talked about me behind my back! You told him where I worked, where I lived. Did you tell him we’re fucking too?” yelled Sirius.
“No!” screamed Remus. He wasn’t going to be blamed for everything. “I wanted to tell you, believe me, but you’ve always said how you don’t care about them anymore. Remember the other night when I asked about your family? That’s why I asked-because I wanted to tell you.”
“But you should’ve anyway. Let me react any damn way I please.”
“I was trying to protect you. I didn’t want to upset you,” reasoned Remus.
Sirius snorted. “More upset than I am now? He told you not to tell me, right?”
“He knows how you feel about them.”
“So you do what he asks you to do instead of what you should do for me? Since when is my fucking estranged brother more important to you than your bloody boyfriend?”
Remus breathed heavily, trying to keep calm but failing. “He asked me not to say anything and I figured I shouldn’t. I’m not like some people who have to tell everyone everything.”
Sirius narrowed his grey eyes and stepped closer to Remus. “I don’t do that anymore!”
“How could I have known that you wanted to know when you’ve never, ever said anything good about any of them?” shouted Remus, not backing down.
“So because I don’t talk about them I must be a heartless bastard who doesn’t care if someone dies? Someone who gave me my life.”
“I’m not saying that! Don’t fucking put words in my mouth, Sirius. I only didn’t say anything because you’ve made it crystal clear since that time that, to you, they no longer existed.”
“But they do,” muttered Sirius. “And you should have told me. James and Peter would’ve never betrayed me like this. And you, the one person I trust more than anyone-yes, even more than James-did.”
Remus stared at Sirius. Sirius looked away and wiped his face before saying, “Go. I can’t-I can’t do this.”
“Sirius.”
Sirius stared at Remus. “Tell me something. If he had died, how could you have lived with yourself, knowing you didn’t give me the chance to see him before?”
That was one question Remus had asked himself everytime he decided not to tell Sirius. And he still didn’t know the answer to it. As Sirius stood looking at the floor, Remus walked to the sofa, retrieved his shoes, and walked to the door. Before leaving, he glanced back at Sirius’s still form. “I only did what you asked, what you wanted. I always do,” Remus said as his voice trembled. He walked out and closed the door behind him.
***I'm almost done with this series; I promise.***
Written for wellymuck
Title: The Fight
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,000
Disclaimer: JK Rowling's boys, not mine.
Summary: Sirius and Remus fight over Remus's secret about the Blacks.
Previous: April 1&2, April 3&4, April 5, April 6, April 7&8&9, April 10&11, April 12&13 April 14&15&16, April 17&18&19
April 20, 1979
Remus Lupin exited the small closet with a mop in his hand. As an unofficial caretaker at St. Mungo’s Hospital, he had the responsibility to make sure everything was clean and white-very, very white.
“Are you taking a break soon?”
Remus looked to his right and saw Regulus Black standing close to him. He stood with his hands in his trouser pockets and a black, light jacket over his grey shirt.
“Um, no, but do you think the floor will still be here in an hour?” asked Remus with a laugh.
Regulus, to Remus’s surprise, laughed softly. Remus set the mop down by the closet door and motioned for the young Black to follow him.
They exited through a door and found themselves outside in one of the hospital’s outdoor gardens. They sat down on a stone bench. Remus and Regulus were not friends. They never had been and probably never would be. But since meeting again after several years the previous day, Remus and Regulus had formed a silent bond worrying about Regulus’s father, Orion Black, who had been in St. Mungo’s for several days now.
“Have you heard anything?” asked Regulus as soon as they sat.
Remus shook his head. “No, but I am keeping my ears open.”
Regulus nodded.
“It’s serious, though.”
“What?”
“He’s in serious condition,” said Remus quietly.
“I figured that much,” said Regulus. “Did you tell him?”
“No.” Regulus was against his estranged brother, Sirius, knowing anything about Mr. Black. Remus wanted to tell Sirius but his attempt at doing so the night before had failed.
“He didn’t want to know, huh?”
Remus lied. “No, I just didn’t tell him.”
Regulus sighed as he said, “He won’t care. He was never like us, never had the same beliefs.”
“Beliefs? What exactly are those beliefs, Regulus?” asked a curious Remus.
Regulus turned away from him and shook his head. “You wouldn’t understand. Sirius didn’t either, and he was a Black.”
“You’re talking about all that fanatical, pureblood mania that’s now making its way out into the open, right?” Lately, several wizards and witches had been making public speeches and sending out mail with invitations to join a growing group dedicated to keeping pureblood wizards as the majority
Regulus faced Remus again. “It’s not fanatical,” retorted Regulus.
“Please. You lot are obsessed with it and now you’re trying to get others to think the same shit,” said Remus, his face reddening with frustration more than anger.
“We’re just trying to make things right,” explained Regulus.
“For who?” demanded Remus.
“For our kind. It seems now almost anyone can be a wizard or witch. We’re trying to preserve our line,” said Regulus, his face just as red as Remus’s.
“So because I’m not pureblood, I’m not a real wizard?”
Regulus bit his lip before answering with a firm “No.”
“Fuck you, Regulus,” cursed Remus as he turned away. There was a tense moment of silence before Remus said something: “What does Professor Dumbledore have to say about all this?”
Regulus rolled his eyes. “Nothing. He doesn’t think the little children should be told anything about the big, bad world.”
“It’s brainwashing is what it is,” said Remus.
Regulus scoffed. “Oh, is it? How different is it from what the Ministry and Sirius do to the Muggles?”
“What?”
“Memory charms, obliterating their minds. Aren’t these forms of brainwashing too?”
Remus laughed harshly. “That’s total rubbish, Regulus. Those are done to protect them.”
“Well, that’s what we’re doing too!” shouted Regulus.
“What you’re doing is pitting our people against each other. And stop saying ‘we’ like you’re doing anything-aren’t you still in school?”
Regulus frowned. Remus shook his head, thinking this had been a mistake. He stood and was about to walk back inside when Regulus said, “He was always so different.”
“Who?” asked Remus curiously.
“Sirius.”
Remus sat back down.
“I don’t know how to explain it; he just wasn’t like me. He never liked Quidditch, for one. Me and my father were crazy about it, though. And he didn’t talk much about what he liked to do, or anything like that. He only talked about you lot whenever I asked him to do something with me. He did care about his hair; that I always knew.”
“He still does,” said Remus with a laugh.
Regulus laughed too. “Yeah? He got along well enough with my parents. You might not think so given that he chose to leave but he did. He only didn’t agree with some things they did. You know something, though? I still don’t know why he left. Mum wouldn’t tell me, and my father pretended not to hear my questions.”
“He didn’t want to leave.”
“He told you why, then?”
Remus shook his head even though he did know why.
Regulus looked down at his hands. “Maybe one day I’ll ask him.”
Remus nodded and stood. “I’m going inside; I have to get back to work.”
Regulus stood too. “Lupin, what I said: it’s who I am; it’s nothing personal.”
Remus smiled dryly. “It’s always personal. See you later.”
April 22, 1979
“June 1st. That’s less than two months away.”
Sirius nodded in agreement. “I know, but Mr. Potter and some other Ministry folk are leaving on a trip for three months in mid-June. Since Lily wants a summer wedding, she and James decided to do it before then.”
“That’s fast,” said Remus. He and Sirius were sitting on the sofa in Sirius’s living room, their legs propped up on the coffee table as they discussed their friends’ wedding plans. Although James Potter and Lily Evans had only become engaged earlier this month, their wedding ceremony was already planned for the summer.
“Family is everything to them,” said Sirius nonchalantly.
Remus merely nodded. Lately, he would tense up whenever someone mentioned the words ‘family,’ ‘brother,’ or ‘father.’ Remus had been keeping the secret about Sirius’s ill father for four days, and he felt more uneasy than ever. Still, he wouldn’t tell Sirius, as Sirius never wanted anything to do with his family again.
“The engagement party’s in two days. Want to be my date?” asked a smiling Sirius.
“It’s better than going alone, I guess,” joked Remus
Sirius hit his arm. “You sure you can go? You’ve been working non-stop at the hospital. You never answer my owls anymore.”
Remus quickly looked away. “It’s busy, Sirius.”
“I’m just playing, Rem,” said Sirius softly as he reached over and kissed Remus’s dry lips. When they parted, Sirius stood. “Let me go get today’s puzzle. There are some clues that I can’t figure out.”
A knock on the door made Remus sit up straight. “Sirius, are you expecting somebody?” he asked loudly.
“No, but can you get it?” Sirius called out from the bedroom.
Remus walked to the door and opened it. His face lost its color and his eyes widened as he stared at Regulus. “What-what are you doing here?”
“I have to tell him. Is he here?” asked a solemn Regulus.
Remus shook his head frantically. “No, no, no. You can’t tell him. You said he doesn’t want to know and he’s practically told me the same thing.”
“Can I speak to him?”
“Regulus, wait, wait. This is a big deal; you can’t just spring it on him,” said Remus desperately.
“You said I should tell him.”
“Okay, okay. But let me talk to him first. You wait here,” said Remus. Remus shut the door and ran to the bedroom, almost running into Sirius.
“Whoa! Who’s here?”
Remus grabbed Sirius’s arms and pushed him back into the room. “Sirius, I have to tell you something.” He held Sirius’s face in both hands. “It’s about your father. Your father’s sick in the hospital. I’ve been checking on him but he’s been sick for almost a week now and the Healers aren’t able to help him. They think he was poisoned but they don’t know for sure. And Regulus is here and he wants to tell you and I think you should listen-”
“-Listen? What? My father-you’ve seen my father? And Regulus?”
Remus pointed out the door. “Your brother’s here. Just listen to him; he has a lot he wants to say to you.”
Sirius roughly pulled himself away from Remus and stared at him, his bushy brows furrowed deeply. “You knew all this?”
Remus nodded. “I wanted to tell you.”
Sirius pushed Remus onto the bed. “Wait here.”
Remus ran both hands through his hair, feeling very nervous and scared. He listened for voices but heard only muffled sounds. Sirius had apparently decided to talk to Regulus outside the flat; therefore, Remus couldn’t hear anything. He waited for what seemed like hours but was actually only two or three minutes. Remus jumped when he heard the door slam. He cautiously walked to the bedroom door and exited. In the living room, he saw Sirius-his face flushed and sweaty with his hands in his fists-leaning against the door.
“How could you not tell me?”
Remus walked to him, wisely stopping a few feet away. “I thought you wouldn’t want to know. You said-”
“It’s my father,” interrupted Sirius. “My family. You even became friends with Regulus.”
Remus shook his head. “We’re not friends; we only-”
“-Talked about me behind my back! You told him where I worked, where I lived. Did you tell him we’re fucking too?” yelled Sirius.
“No!” screamed Remus. He wasn’t going to be blamed for everything. “I wanted to tell you, believe me, but you’ve always said how you don’t care about them anymore. Remember the other night when I asked about your family? That’s why I asked-because I wanted to tell you.”
“But you should’ve anyway. Let me react any damn way I please.”
“I was trying to protect you. I didn’t want to upset you,” reasoned Remus.
Sirius snorted. “More upset than I am now? He told you not to tell me, right?”
“He knows how you feel about them.”
“So you do what he asks you to do instead of what you should do for me? Since when is my fucking estranged brother more important to you than your bloody boyfriend?”
Remus breathed heavily, trying to keep calm but failing. “He asked me not to say anything and I figured I shouldn’t. I’m not like some people who have to tell everyone everything.”
Sirius narrowed his grey eyes and stepped closer to Remus. “I don’t do that anymore!”
“How could I have known that you wanted to know when you’ve never, ever said anything good about any of them?” shouted Remus, not backing down.
“So because I don’t talk about them I must be a heartless bastard who doesn’t care if someone dies? Someone who gave me my life.”
“I’m not saying that! Don’t fucking put words in my mouth, Sirius. I only didn’t say anything because you’ve made it crystal clear since that time that, to you, they no longer existed.”
“But they do,” muttered Sirius. “And you should have told me. James and Peter would’ve never betrayed me like this. And you, the one person I trust more than anyone-yes, even more than James-did.”
Remus stared at Sirius. Sirius looked away and wiped his face before saying, “Go. I can’t-I can’t do this.”
“Sirius.”
Sirius stared at Remus. “Tell me something. If he had died, how could you have lived with yourself, knowing you didn’t give me the chance to see him before?”
That was one question Remus had asked himself everytime he decided not to tell Sirius. And he still didn’t know the answer to it. As Sirius stood looking at the floor, Remus walked to the sofa, retrieved his shoes, and walked to the door. Before leaving, he glanced back at Sirius’s still form. “I only did what you asked, what you wanted. I always do,” Remus said as his voice trembled. He walked out and closed the door behind him.
***I'm almost done with this series; I promise.***