(no subject)
Does anybody read this anymore? I havent updated in so damn long. Uh....So im waiting for my daddy to send me plain matroshky (nesting dolls) for me to paint. YAAAY! Im so excited to start. Uh....Had a boyfriend for a second. Broke up with him. Seeing someone nicer now. I wouldnt rush to call him my boyfriend yet, but hopefully sometime. Woo! Uh...mandy and i have been rollerskating. School is fucking crazy intense. But im learning a whole lot so that makes me really happy. Its just reallly hard for me to get to my classes by 8:30 am, and theyre all on the other side of the city, so if i want to eat or shower or ANYTHING before school, i have to get up at FIVE. Kills. Yeah, going home to san diego for a week was really wierd. It was either i was akward or old friends were akward around me. I was so excited to be home, and to see everybody i could, but it was so akward when i finally did see anybody. I know I often feel like everybody hates me, and i know its not true, but going home, i felt really out of place, and unwanted almost. Or more like everybody has gotten so cool, that maybe im not cool to them anymore! Or maybe never was cool, but now its embarrasing? FUCK! or its all in my damn head. I just wish i spent more time with my family than my old friends. I was so intent on seeing everybody i could, but i think i might have been happier just hanging out with my parents or my sister and brother in law who i definitly didnt spend enough time with. Fucking life and people moving on, and changing and shit. I need a vaccuum for my mother fucking skull.