we've got you in our system YOUR SAFE AND SOUND
i think at some point in time god got really lazy. i mean look at the bible vs. the world today. back in the day god was always talking to the different people and preforming miracles and smiting both believers and non-believers. now he talks to noone (and if he does that person is dubbed as crazy loonatic.) and what miracles does he preform???? nothin. the part that gets me the most is he smites no one!!!! thats what i liked about this god guy. he'd be chillin there like i'm bored, i think i'll make it rain for 40 days just to show them who's the omniscient one. or make my people walk through the desert sans food or water.
what happened to the angry god you feared from the days of the bible????
now he sits up in heaven naked in a bean bag chair eating cheetos and tosses down the occasional tornado or earth quake or the like. that lazy bastard should give me the job i'll show them to be god fearing men. as well the ten commandments will be changed to a smaller more to the times version. because sometimes we all just have to break one of those damned things so here is my version of the commandments for the 2000's that will go into effect as soon as i become your all powerful god:
1. don't do bad shit.
2. don't fuck around.
there isn't that easier to remember and follow that the 10????
come on wouldn't you all want me as your god any way???? and who wouldn't want to see my picture posted in every church.
i'd also have dinner with the pope all the time and ask him to wear his hat. and have him drive me around in the pope mobile. the two main perks of pope-dom but i'd be god.
plus i love sitting in bean bag chairs naked eatin cheetos.
i am the right man for the job.
so god when you see this gimme a call. your gettin kinda old and could use a break. so call me and we'll work out all the details.
so remember kiddies:
PAUL FOR GOD
what happened to the angry god you feared from the days of the bible????
now he sits up in heaven naked in a bean bag chair eating cheetos and tosses down the occasional tornado or earth quake or the like. that lazy bastard should give me the job i'll show them to be god fearing men. as well the ten commandments will be changed to a smaller more to the times version. because sometimes we all just have to break one of those damned things so here is my version of the commandments for the 2000's that will go into effect as soon as i become your all powerful god:
1. don't do bad shit.
2. don't fuck around.
there isn't that easier to remember and follow that the 10????
come on wouldn't you all want me as your god any way???? and who wouldn't want to see my picture posted in every church.
i'd also have dinner with the pope all the time and ask him to wear his hat. and have him drive me around in the pope mobile. the two main perks of pope-dom but i'd be god.
plus i love sitting in bean bag chairs naked eatin cheetos.
i am the right man for the job.
so god when you see this gimme a call. your gettin kinda old and could use a break. so call me and we'll work out all the details.
so remember kiddies:
PAUL FOR GOD