my life thus far
sorry i haven't posted in a while. i have no excuse other then i just haven't felt like writing. i don't know who (if anyone) reads these anymore but i guess if it just goes as far as the universe.. i'm content.
i've been of on STIP or the last week and a half and i've taken this time to reflect on my life and all that has gone into it at this point. i wish my conclusions have been earth shattering but they really haven't. i've taken the oppertunity to get caught up on various projects that have been "roundtoits" for a while now and took the time to reflect on my life.
i've come to some conclusions.
1. i don't like my job. i'm not a banker. i'm not cut OUT to be a banker. i love the customer service aspects but the banker thing is like wearing a shoe that's too small. the fatal flaw of this is that i can hear my mother's voice in my head telling me that i ought to be lucky to have any job at all.
so... what do i do?
i can look for another job that fits my particular skillset.. it's not like the old days where they won't hire you based on your disability.. or i can stay with the hands i have.. a safety net. i bat around the idea of the comic shop.. but then i can't take that gamble on my mortgage or patsy's good graces.
it's one thing to say she'll support me in my dreams.. another thing to do it when the comic shop isn't making enough money to cover it's own overhead and make my part of the mortgage.
i'll still look into it but it's not fair to patsy to make the comic shop plan a.
2. i'm stressed about my housing issues. i have a big house with lots of room.. true. i also have one border who's paying and another who really hasn't paid anything since last december. he helps around the house, sure... but it would all go alot better if he were to come up with some of the rent money he owes. it would go a long way to covering the shortage that my job doesn't pay me as well as easing some of the house overhead that patsy has had to cover.
3. i've asked this of patsy and now i put it out to the universe. last october i lost my mom. we were close and it was a real blow. this was rapidly followed by all the drama over the window and work being what it is.. add to that the continuing drama that is roomate issues and i'm wondering i a lot of what i'm feeling isn't some form of post traumatic stress syndrome.
this has all been a lot to have to handle in a short period of time. so.. i wonder if i'm okay... or if not okay.. weather i'll be okay anytime soon.
i'm gonna wrap this up for tonight. i'll blog more tomorrow after i've rested some.
i've been of on STIP or the last week and a half and i've taken this time to reflect on my life and all that has gone into it at this point. i wish my conclusions have been earth shattering but they really haven't. i've taken the oppertunity to get caught up on various projects that have been "roundtoits" for a while now and took the time to reflect on my life.
i've come to some conclusions.
1. i don't like my job. i'm not a banker. i'm not cut OUT to be a banker. i love the customer service aspects but the banker thing is like wearing a shoe that's too small. the fatal flaw of this is that i can hear my mother's voice in my head telling me that i ought to be lucky to have any job at all.
so... what do i do?
i can look for another job that fits my particular skillset.. it's not like the old days where they won't hire you based on your disability.. or i can stay with the hands i have.. a safety net. i bat around the idea of the comic shop.. but then i can't take that gamble on my mortgage or patsy's good graces.
it's one thing to say she'll support me in my dreams.. another thing to do it when the comic shop isn't making enough money to cover it's own overhead and make my part of the mortgage.
i'll still look into it but it's not fair to patsy to make the comic shop plan a.
2. i'm stressed about my housing issues. i have a big house with lots of room.. true. i also have one border who's paying and another who really hasn't paid anything since last december. he helps around the house, sure... but it would all go alot better if he were to come up with some of the rent money he owes. it would go a long way to covering the shortage that my job doesn't pay me as well as easing some of the house overhead that patsy has had to cover.
3. i've asked this of patsy and now i put it out to the universe. last october i lost my mom. we were close and it was a real blow. this was rapidly followed by all the drama over the window and work being what it is.. add to that the continuing drama that is roomate issues and i'm wondering i a lot of what i'm feeling isn't some form of post traumatic stress syndrome.
this has all been a lot to have to handle in a short period of time. so.. i wonder if i'm okay... or if not okay.. weather i'll be okay anytime soon.
i'm gonna wrap this up for tonight. i'll blog more tomorrow after i've rested some.