Ehh...
You know I really wanted to write this entry yesterday but my parents decided not to let me use the computer. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I've pretty much got nothing. Nothing really matters to me. And that's the problem I guess. I used to care so much that it hurt when I did shit like this. And it does right now I just don't want to register it. God Dammit I'm such horrible person that's its unbelieveable.
Let me explain my life right now...
I get up at like 6:30 and do all the morning stuff. Then I go to school where I'm usually 5 minutes late or something like that. And then guess what I do? I sit there. All day. I don't do anything. I don't talk to anyone. Lunch is the worst. I try to waste as much time walking around my school so I don't have to be alone for that long. I sit outside and do my homework and that's it. I don't talk to anybody and no one talks to me. Absolutely no one at that school gives a shit about me. I hope I don't have to spell out what that means.
Well after school is finely over I go home. On the days I don't work, I go home and usually take a nap until about 4 or 5. I get up and depending on whether my parents are pissed at me or not, I watch T.V. or play some games. Then I get on the computer sometimes. And I go to bed. No homework. I never do it.
Well on the days I do work, I get there and do the usual hellos and stuff like that. Going to work used to be my holy grail. I could get away from my house, which is horrible, and I have a place where I belong. People actually care about me there. But nowadays I just piss people off. Liz most recently.
I just can't take it. There's nothing my family can offer me that I want. And now I'm almost at the point where I dread going to work. I dread it cause some of my only friends are there and I've been a little prick lately. I'm losing one of the only things I have.
Here's my apology...
I never meant for this entry to be an apology but as usual it becomes one. I just got to say I'm sorry again. I shouldn't have told you two to "kiss my fucking ass," those two being Kim and Liz.
You know under that entry that you guys commented on there was a more simple meaning. I just wanted to tell you guys that you really had no right to gloat about the game. You guys didn't go cause "we knew we're going to lose." And that's exactly what all three of you said to me. If I was being a little ass before the game then you should have told me. But no you guys just agreed with me that your team sucked and that just kinda egged me on. But right now I'm asking you in a civil manner not to say anything. Cause I don't deserve it. I looked forward to that for over 2 months cause my friend Justin was coming back just for that game. And I really didn't care if we won or lost. And I felt so disappointed when all three of you didn't come, but I dealt with that (no grudges here). How do you guys think it makes me feel when you say that shit to me about the game and you guys didn't even go. I don't care if its your school, it was my friend that came all the way from Texas just to see that game and he goes home disappointed. So please just stop cause its not helping me emotionally right now.
I apologized and erased that entry the lest guys can do is read this. I know it's long. It's probably the most I've written this year.
I just you guys to know you mean a lot to me and you guys are one of the only things I have left now. I don't want to have to dislike you guys over a stupid game.
Let me explain my life right now...
I get up at like 6:30 and do all the morning stuff. Then I go to school where I'm usually 5 minutes late or something like that. And then guess what I do? I sit there. All day. I don't do anything. I don't talk to anyone. Lunch is the worst. I try to waste as much time walking around my school so I don't have to be alone for that long. I sit outside and do my homework and that's it. I don't talk to anybody and no one talks to me. Absolutely no one at that school gives a shit about me. I hope I don't have to spell out what that means.
Well after school is finely over I go home. On the days I don't work, I go home and usually take a nap until about 4 or 5. I get up and depending on whether my parents are pissed at me or not, I watch T.V. or play some games. Then I get on the computer sometimes. And I go to bed. No homework. I never do it.
Well on the days I do work, I get there and do the usual hellos and stuff like that. Going to work used to be my holy grail. I could get away from my house, which is horrible, and I have a place where I belong. People actually care about me there. But nowadays I just piss people off. Liz most recently.
I just can't take it. There's nothing my family can offer me that I want. And now I'm almost at the point where I dread going to work. I dread it cause some of my only friends are there and I've been a little prick lately. I'm losing one of the only things I have.
Here's my apology...
I never meant for this entry to be an apology but as usual it becomes one. I just got to say I'm sorry again. I shouldn't have told you two to "kiss my fucking ass," those two being Kim and Liz.
You know under that entry that you guys commented on there was a more simple meaning. I just wanted to tell you guys that you really had no right to gloat about the game. You guys didn't go cause "we knew we're going to lose." And that's exactly what all three of you said to me. If I was being a little ass before the game then you should have told me. But no you guys just agreed with me that your team sucked and that just kinda egged me on. But right now I'm asking you in a civil manner not to say anything. Cause I don't deserve it. I looked forward to that for over 2 months cause my friend Justin was coming back just for that game. And I really didn't care if we won or lost. And I felt so disappointed when all three of you didn't come, but I dealt with that (no grudges here). How do you guys think it makes me feel when you say that shit to me about the game and you guys didn't even go. I don't care if its your school, it was my friend that came all the way from Texas just to see that game and he goes home disappointed. So please just stop cause its not helping me emotionally right now.
I apologized and erased that entry the lest guys can do is read this. I know it's long. It's probably the most I've written this year.
I just you guys to know you mean a lot to me and you guys are one of the only things I have left now. I don't want to have to dislike you guys over a stupid game.