(no subject)
Im not afraid of commitment. I'm afraid of another broken heart. I'm afraid of planning for the future with someone, just to watch them walk out of my life. In turn forcing me to start my plan all over again. I'm 31 years old and I've had to start over three times now and it's an exhausting process recovering from a committed relationship that don't work out. Emotionally for sure. Financially, definitely. Living situation, often.
All of these things have aged me and at the same time forced me to stay young and positive. When I'm really just living in torment and trying to figure out what in the fuck I'm doing. Who to know when someone is lying to me again. I know I keep things from people. I say things that aren't completely true to people to make them happy.
I guess I'm discovering that I am the liar...
Often feel like I should take myself away from everyone to prevent myself from hurting anyone else. I really am a Gemini. Often perceived as this wonderful, kind and caring person. Then the other side of me that no one should ever know about me. Save yourself and don't fall for me. It never works out and when you you love me, as much as I want to believe you...I probably won't.
All of these things have aged me and at the same time forced me to stay young and positive. When I'm really just living in torment and trying to figure out what in the fuck I'm doing. Who to know when someone is lying to me again. I know I keep things from people. I say things that aren't completely true to people to make them happy.
I guess I'm discovering that I am the liar...
Often feel like I should take myself away from everyone to prevent myself from hurting anyone else. I really am a Gemini. Often perceived as this wonderful, kind and caring person. Then the other side of me that no one should ever know about me. Save yourself and don't fall for me. It never works out and when you you love me, as much as I want to believe you...I probably won't.