Light on flies!
Hey all you kids, I've been extremely lazy and have decided not to post anything remotely interesting in here. For that matter, I didn't post shit. Anyways, I've decided it is time for me to post something filled with pure insanity and outrageous extremes. Before I begin I've looked at all the Livejournal posts and must say they are quite lame and uninteresting. Here I go! The other day Canada was complaining because to many random cripples started entering their country. The reason for the cripples to run into Canada is because there was an airfreshner that attracted people with no arms, legs, or heads. Yes, you guessed it. Even the the dead decaying bodies arose and headed north. A lonely Asian that was lost on the North Pole found his way down and was quickly shot by a Mounty because he thought that the asian was an alien. The mounty was confused with the eye structure that the Asian portrayed. Then out of no where comes Sygoni Weaver with a Pulse Rifle and does a handstand onto a moving taxi which was covered in suds from an explosion that happened earlier that day at a Laundry mat. The reason why this happened was because of a performance by The Spindal Ballet which was a shitty 80's ballad band that only attracted 12 year old acene infested girls and 50 year old men that tried to get a piece of that. The band was playing a free benifit concert for Teri Schivo but so much for that. A wolf came out of no where and devoured the corpse of Teri and ran off with the bones. This upsetted the mayor and he started to protest against the fucking animal. Soon after that the Mayor was executed by a Black Panther because they were having a parade and they thought he looked suspiciously like the cop that beat the shit out of Rodney King Jr. So they marched along only to be hit by a huge dumptruck that was unloading a pile of syringes and bricks. The truck driver then was penetrated by an east african mudpuppy that was on wheels. Sure enough there was a bomb implanted in the mudpuppy. The evil person who did such an operation was of course Donald Rumsfield. That sick bastard. Earlier he was caught with beastiality porn and now he is playing with animals. He was arrested by 12 year old hooker called Joadi Foster. Then unexpectedly Mr Seitz ran out of a locker room filled with nude men. I wish I knew what exactly was going on but he wouldn't tell me. Seitz then ran as fast as he can laughing with half of his tounge and then was plowed by a Hotdog Mobile which Shaggy from Scooby Doo was driving. Lou Reed came out of the sky and performed his hit song Speed Metal and then passed out because he was on an eating binge looking for microfilaments. The depressing thing was that he had to leave and left his happy trail unguarded. It was quickly eaten by wild dingos which were then captured and sent to Tai restaurants along the Californian border. California then dissolved because someone sprinkled Salt all over and then it fell into the Pacific Ocean. Sad, sad indeed. Then some asshole switchd the ocean waters and all the Sperm Whales started to ejaculate out of their blowhole. It was an un-normal day for the world but everyone recovered when they read the new Spin Magazine and were aroused by the new Oasis article. Thankfully I did not pick up that issue. Anyways, I think I've spread enough chaos for everyone to handle right now. Comment on this or no more will be posted! See you all you keyboard reaching dentrites from hell.