To The Pain....
Well this morning I woke up and felt incredible, back to normal almost for the first time in I can't even remember how long. I even felt up to getting some of those stalls done that Helen asked me to. Was nice to feel slightly constructive again, but then I remembered I had to go put my expense check in the bank (the one for the money I put out over a month ago on that last business trip finally got here) and so I went to go put it in, and stop and pick up some stuff like shampoo and a gift I need to send off for my birthday. Yeh, I know I'm sending out a gift for my birthday to someone else....I'm just weird like that. But anyhow, I'm browsing through the haircare section at Wal-Mart when this wave of pain overtakes me and I nearly pass out. In fact its so noticable that the lady working at the other end of the aisle came rushing up asking me if I needed her help to those benches over by the pharmacy. I did go sit down for a minute because the pain was soon followed by a bout of nausea and breathlessness. I soon went and checked out and drove home very carefully, and put paid to my ideas of actually going to get my laundry done, as well as anymore work finished today. I feel so fucking useless when im crippled by this pain, everything just swims before my eyes and I can't make heads or tails of anything written, or even really detailed pictures. And honestly if the pain doesn't stop somehow soon, I'm not sure I'm going to hold onto any sanity that I may have in reserve. If the pain wasn't in my head I'd be ok, but I can't even think, I can't stand light or heat or sound, and where the hell can I go that I don't run into any of that? I can't even sit in my room because its like an oven up here, and I can hear the TV from downstairs all the way up here. Sigh, but on another note, Gabe is home, well back at school anyway. Has the excuse that the screen on his phone died so thats why he didn't call me like he'd promised to. Also mentioned something about being in traction for a week? I was too busy, dealing with pain in my head to notice at first and when I went to ask about that he signed off, logged off, got booted or something at that time. I wasn't purposely not paying attention to him although it prolly seems like I don't give a damn...but heh I've been in enough pain myself, that is continuing he should understand. And unfortunately I haven't heard from him since, for all I know hes changed his SN yet again and has no plans to tell me at all this time. I dunno I just really need to talk to him about some stuff, it would be nice, oh well. Heh, also Colin like fucked himself up in a bad way, needs surgery and all that shit. Just wait boyo until that happens, it'll be my turn to wake YOU up, hehehe! And lastly for tonite, thanks for the cd Ken, its really stellar now that I listened to the whole thing, very cool and many sincere thanks!