To Drink Is To Die
So the time has come to step away from drinking. I came very close to quiting while I was at school. But the main reason I decided to continue drinking was for my last memories at College. The social aspect at college was heavly influenced by alcohol. But things are different now. I am no longer at school. I have my own apartment and control over whats in my life. I don't like what drinking does to me and its time for a change. I have a lot of dreams and I am very close to reaching them.
I realize that if all goes planned I move to London in October. Right now that freaks me out to think I am moving somewhere so far away. A lot of that comes with me drinking alot. I just can't deal with life. Life everyday challenges seem unbearable. I just want to ignore them and not deal with my problems. I know that if I quit drinking I can make the move to London. When I am sober I am at my best. I can deal with anything life has to dish out.
This time I know I am ready to quit. I have been telling everyone that I am swearing off alcohol. I am going to remove myself from all situations that prove to be toxic to my soberity. I am going to surround myself with positive elements in my life. I joined a online AA group. Granted I should go to an AA group in my meeting. I am to scared to go. I am not a relgious person at all but I am willing to explore religions. I never got the idea of religions before. I thought they were a crock. But now I understand why people come to accept religion into their life. When your so desperate and feel there is no hope. To believe in a higher power that can help you is comforting. Even if it's a lie, believing in this lie can make you feel better and help to give you hope and courage that can get you through crisis.
This alocohol problem may have wrecked havok on my life but I am stronger then this and I will win.
On a less serious note I have been so motivated today. I changed Jujubeans cage, did the dishes, thankyou cards. I even hooked my printer up. Which btw I have had four like 3 years and never hooked up. I got my transcript request letter I am sending in tomorrow. Then once it comes back in the mail I will be all ready to send my bunic application in. Then hopefully I will have my VISA. Also I am refocused on finding my a new job. My workplace is probally the most toxic place ever for my soberity. I love my friends but they are in the same boat as me. If I want to stay sober I have to keep my distance from them for a while. Our friendships are just going to have to change. No more drinking buddies. We can hang out it more healthier ways. Like walking or those type of activites
I realize that if all goes planned I move to London in October. Right now that freaks me out to think I am moving somewhere so far away. A lot of that comes with me drinking alot. I just can't deal with life. Life everyday challenges seem unbearable. I just want to ignore them and not deal with my problems. I know that if I quit drinking I can make the move to London. When I am sober I am at my best. I can deal with anything life has to dish out.
This time I know I am ready to quit. I have been telling everyone that I am swearing off alcohol. I am going to remove myself from all situations that prove to be toxic to my soberity. I am going to surround myself with positive elements in my life. I joined a online AA group. Granted I should go to an AA group in my meeting. I am to scared to go. I am not a relgious person at all but I am willing to explore religions. I never got the idea of religions before. I thought they were a crock. But now I understand why people come to accept religion into their life. When your so desperate and feel there is no hope. To believe in a higher power that can help you is comforting. Even if it's a lie, believing in this lie can make you feel better and help to give you hope and courage that can get you through crisis.
This alocohol problem may have wrecked havok on my life but I am stronger then this and I will win.
On a less serious note I have been so motivated today. I changed Jujubeans cage, did the dishes, thankyou cards. I even hooked my printer up. Which btw I have had four like 3 years and never hooked up. I got my transcript request letter I am sending in tomorrow. Then once it comes back in the mail I will be all ready to send my bunic application in. Then hopefully I will have my VISA. Also I am refocused on finding my a new job. My workplace is probally the most toxic place ever for my soberity. I love my friends but they are in the same boat as me. If I want to stay sober I have to keep my distance from them for a while. Our friendships are just going to have to change. No more drinking buddies. We can hang out it more healthier ways. Like walking or those type of activites