(no subject)
Willow: I left my class as soon as it was finished, not waiting around to talk to the prof as I normally would. Glancing at my watch, I had 15 minutes to get over to the Espresso Pump, where I was meeting Oz. Since it was only a 5-minute walk, I wasn't too concerned.
I took my time, since it was a nice day, and when I got there I settled into what I used to think of as 'our' table, knowing he'd know where to find me.
Oz: I did know, and I saw her slip into the booth with that quiet ease. I noted, though, that the awkward grace I had fallen in love with was no longer awkward. There was a confidence there I wasn't used to. I contented myself with watching her from the table in the corner, and was pleased to have her familiar scent enter my nostrils as the breeze swept it towards me. Willow....she was still perfect.
I stood up, hands shoved into the pockets of my slightly oversized, worn jeans and walked up to the side of the booth.
"Hi."
Willow: "Hey," I said softly. "It's good to see you again." I gestured to the other side of the booth. "Come. Sit. have some caffeinated beverage."
My thoughts were racing at seeing him again - it was wonderful and confusing and weird all at the same time.
Oz: I smiled softly and slipped in across from her, hands immediately coming out of my pockets to rest on the table. I regretted that, seeing them fidget, and moved to play with the silver talisman hanging around my neck.
"You look good." I said before I really even thought about it.
Willow: "You too." I shook my head slightly, amazed at how much like old times it felt, and how much it didn't at the same time.
Oz: "I need to put some weight back on." I said with a small shrug, "Gained some muscle though. Not scrawny anymore." Another fidget with the talisman. Damn, she smelt like herbs and flowers, and that same shampoo. It was hitting my in the sternum...but what was hitting harder was the smell of another female mixed in with he.
Willow: "No, you're not. But whatever you've been up to, it seems to agree with you."
I wanted to tell him I was happy, that things were okay, but all of a sudden... I don't know, nothing seemed sure anymore.
"Have you talked to anyone else since you've been back?"
Oz: I shook my head, "No. I've been sort of hesitant." Another fidget, "I sort of left abruptly. Not sure how others would take me."
I needed to ask, "So, you still with that girl...Tori?" I felt bad for forgetting her name, but really, did I want to remember? No.
Willow: "Tara? Yeah. Actually, I was kinda avoiding that topic. Didn't figure you'd want to talk about it."
Oz: I had to smile. "If she makes you happy, I want to hear about it. I want to hear about what makes you happy."
Willow: "Well, we're sharing a dorm room this semester, and we have a kitten. She's really cute, and her name's Miss Kitty Fantastico. If you'd like, you could meet her. Miss Kitty, I mean. Cuz you kinda already met Tara."
Oz: I ran a hand through my hair, "yeah...I need to apologize to her about that meeting. I really wasn't out to eat your...girlfriend."
Willow: "Seems kinda weird, doesn't it? I mean, with you and me, and then not so much you, and then Tara... am I making any sense?
"I never wanted to hurt you. You know that, right?" I said softly, reaching for his hand across the table.
Oz: I squeezed her hands, the warmth of them sending a tingle through my skin, "I know, but I hurt you. It's all karma, Will."
Willow: "In some weird way, I'll always love you. Which sounds kinda crazy considering everything, but... yeah. And I'm feeling totally insane right about now."
Oz: "I feel the exact same way." I said softly, "Everything I did....I did it for you. I'm a better person because of you."
Willow: "And I waited for you, as long as I could. Even now, just seeing you here... wow."
Oz: I squeezed her hand again, "I didn't expect you to wait forever. But you gave me the drive. I can control the wolf now. All the time." I smiled and pulled her hands up to kiss the knuckles gently. Her skin was still soft.
Willow: His touch made me shiver inside, and I kept having irrational thoughts about how it would be if I kissed him.
But no, that's stupid, I thought. I'm with Tara now. I love her.
Oz: I dropped her hands and placed them back down on the table with a sense of longing for the days when I would have slipped in beside her, wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pass the moments away taking in her scent.
"I brought you something back from Tibet." I finally murmured to break the silence.
Willow: "You did? I mean, thank you..."
Oz: Now where was it? I reached into my pockets and pulled out the small necklace. It was a magical talisman, much like the one I wore. I slid it across the table, "It's a Buddhist protection charm.It's carmed in a way that the giver will know when the reciever is in danger."
Willow: "Are you sure you want to give that to me? I mean, working with Buffy... I'm in danger pretty much daily," I half-joked, looking at the intricate carvings.
Oz: I smirked, "I know, and I'm back now. And....I want to help."
Willow: "We can always use the help. You know Sunnydale - full of the creepy-crawlies, and the growly-bities."
Oz: A small laugh left my lips, and it was followed by a small growl, "Yeah, I know."
Willow: "You know I don't mean you," I said, smiling.
Oz: "I know, and I'm a good growly-bitey." I tapped at the talisman, "Learned a few tricks. I didn't get to show you when I...came back the first time." My eyes diverted slightly, "I sort of left rather quickly."
Willow: "Yeah, you did, but I don't blame you. It's not like it was exactly fun for you here then."
Oz: "I still feel...like I've done something wrong." I whispered, pulling back slightly.
Willow: "Something wrong?" I echoed. "Like what?"
Oz: I shook my head, "Nothing. Random ramble."
Willow: "Is everything okay? I mean, okay, so everything's weird, but still..."
Oz: I smiled. SO like her to worry, "Things are fine. Weird, but fine."
Willow: "I know I'm so not helping with the weirdness factor," I admitted.
Oz: "I came here by choice." Oz pointed out gently, "I'm bringing on my own weird."
Willow: I nodded. "Good point. But I like this weird. There's been much worse weird."
Oz: "This is very much the okay weird." I agreed.
Willow: "It's nice having you around again."
Oz: I couldn't help it. I reached across and took her hands up again in my own, "It's nice being around."
Willow: "I really did miss you," I said softly, squeezing his hands. "Even with.. everything, you've always been there for me."
Oz: "I missed you too." I whispered, surprised to hear the choke in my own voice. "I'm sorry."
Willow: "No, don't be. Everything that happened? Well, things happen for a reason. Just because we don't know them yet doesn't make that any less true."
Oz: "I hope I figure out why it happened soon." I sighed, the well of painful regret starting to flow in my gut.
Willow: "You were wolfy. You couldn't help it - didn't know what you were doing. I get that now. Didn't then, but do now."
Oz: I let out a small breath of relief that I didn't even know I was holding. "Thank-you. I...needed to hear that."
Willow: "I shouldn't have reacted the way I did, but... it hurt. It's okay now, though... I understand a lot of things better."
Oz: "It hurt us both." I whispered in a tone I could barely hear myself.
Willow: "Do you ever wonder how things would've turned out? If none of it ever happened?" I said quietly, looking into his eyes, unable to stop myself.
Oz: I looked up, and without hesitation I told her, "Every day, Willow. Every single day."
Willow: "So do I," I admitted. "I mean, things are good, I'm happy, things are good with Tara and me and all of that. But sometimes? Sometimes I just miss the way things used to be."
Oz: I smiled sadly, "So do I. But we can't change it."
Willow: "No, I guess we can't. At least not without a time machine and a couple of memory-erasers," I joked.
Oz: I smirked, "And that isn't going to happen. Like you said, it all happens for a reason."
Willow: I nodded. "I guess it just makes me wonder what's next. Things are always changing, whether we want them to or not."
Oz: "Well, I', here from here on out."
Willow: "You're gonna stay then? For sure?" I could feel the smile spreading on my face.
Oz: I nodded, and smiled, "I am."
Willow: "Good! I mean, I'm glad... and I'm sure the Gang'll welcome you back, no problem - that is, if you want to be a part of it all again. Not sure how happy Tara will be, though...."
I frowned a little, thinking about Tara. Would it bother her that Oz was back in town? Or that we were still talking? I really didn't know.
Oz: I sighed, "If you want me to hang back for Tara's sake.."
Willow: "No, don't do that. Just... be nice to her, okay? She might be a little freaked, especially after the way you two met last time."
Oz: "Of course I'll be nice." I whispered, being a bit offended.
Willow: "Not that you're not always nice... it's just that.. it's complicated. You know that. And I don't want anyone to get any more hurt than we already have been, you know? And I'm babbling again."
Oz: I nodded, "Understood, Wills. I'll try and make thease as easy as possible."
Willow: "Thanks." I smiled, wanting to take his hand again. It's like I couldn't stop touching him. He felt like home to me, just as he always had.
Oz: "I better get going. I'm doubled parked." I said, kicking myself for sounding pathetic.
Willow: "Want me to walk out with you?"
Oz: "Sure." I said rather quickly.
Willow: I slid out of my side, waiting for him.
Oz: I slid out as well, fighting the urge to slip an arm around her slender waist like I would have not so long ago. Instead I smile awkwardly and started towards the door with my hands deep in my pockets.
Willow: I wanted so badly to take his hand, but... no. Instead, I walked beside him, feeling... well, I'm not quite sure what I was feeling.
Oz: I held the door open for her, and walked towards my faithful van. "Well.."
Willow: "I guess I'd better head back to the dorms. Lots of studying," I said quietly, not wanting to leave.
Oz: "And I..." what was I doing? "Need to put air in the tires."
Willow: "Can't let them get airless," I nodded like I had a clue. "It could get.... hard to drive."
Oz: "Dangerous." I said with a nod, "Anyways, I'll catch your around?"
Willow: "Of course. I'm always around - usually at school."
Oz: I smiled and gave a small nod. "My pager number is the same...if you still have it."
Willow: "Yeah, I do. I'll bug you sometime soon, promise."
Oz: "I'd like that." I whispered. I wanted I kiss her, hug her, something. I wanted to breathe in her hair and drown in that familiar scent that I had become so drunken over. But I couldn't have it. I could only be teased by the scent the wind gave me, and the smile that she offered.
"Later." I said blandly and jumped into my van.
Willow: I watched him go before I headed back to the campus.
*friendslocked - Buffy, Xander and Dawn*
Oh, this is weird. Good, but weird. Oz back in town? I can't help feeling something. But... Tara? I don't want to hurt her. I don't plan to hurt her. But what if I do without meaning to? What if she doesn't like me talking to him?
I just feel so confused. Help me?