le sigh
i'm feeling like a fool. i'm feeling sad and alone. i'm feeling like things could and should be a lot different tonight. i kinda want to be under the stars in His arms and where am i? sitting here typing feeling ... wah wa wah.
for the past week it has been hit & misses in trying to see Master. i understand we are both busy. i understand work often gets in the way.it doesn't change the fact that i want to see Him. it doesn't change the fact that i get disappointed when we make plans and we have to cancel. i feel like a jerk when i voice this to HIm. i feel like i'm not making anything better, i'm just making it worse.
today we talked in teh morning, it was a good convo and we made plans to see each other tonigh i went to wrok feeling content and not really thinking about it. then while i was at work i had four seperate theft incidents. it totally killed my spirit. i tried to stay happy and know htat it's not my fault... but... i was still so angry. i made sure i had all the paperwork ready. i made sure the store was perfect for my boss to just be able to close the till and us to go. i rushed home hoping that He would be waiting for me and i could collapse into His arms and let the world melt away.
nope. no dice. nada. nilch. nothing.
i got a txt msg saying that He was still at work. that was at 930 with no communication since. of course i'm bummed out. i really wanted to see Him and i need Him to hurt me and use me and all the wonderful joys that go along wtih being a slave. i'm tried to call and text since with no answer. in a half hour i may or may not try again. i wish He was here. i hope whenever He's done He'll come here. but.. i am unsure.
i so hate that i need Him as much as i do.
i did some shopping today. i got a pair of shoes for work for 40 bucks... hush puppies & real leather. OOOH!.. lol. i got two shirts, a pair of pants that i might return. i'm not crazy about htem. got some hair stuff, some liquid plumber shit as the bathroom sink was clogged. and that is about all i htinks.
i think i'm going to lie down and stop staring at the clock. that is prob the best course of action. *nods*
slave_anon.
for the past week it has been hit & misses in trying to see Master. i understand we are both busy. i understand work often gets in the way.it doesn't change the fact that i want to see Him. it doesn't change the fact that i get disappointed when we make plans and we have to cancel. i feel like a jerk when i voice this to HIm. i feel like i'm not making anything better, i'm just making it worse.
today we talked in teh morning, it was a good convo and we made plans to see each other tonigh i went to wrok feeling content and not really thinking about it. then while i was at work i had four seperate theft incidents. it totally killed my spirit. i tried to stay happy and know htat it's not my fault... but... i was still so angry. i made sure i had all the paperwork ready. i made sure the store was perfect for my boss to just be able to close the till and us to go. i rushed home hoping that He would be waiting for me and i could collapse into His arms and let the world melt away.
nope. no dice. nada. nilch. nothing.
i got a txt msg saying that He was still at work. that was at 930 with no communication since. of course i'm bummed out. i really wanted to see Him and i need Him to hurt me and use me and all the wonderful joys that go along wtih being a slave. i'm tried to call and text since with no answer. in a half hour i may or may not try again. i wish He was here. i hope whenever He's done He'll come here. but.. i am unsure.
i so hate that i need Him as much as i do.
i did some shopping today. i got a pair of shoes for work for 40 bucks... hush puppies & real leather. OOOH!.. lol. i got two shirts, a pair of pants that i might return. i'm not crazy about htem. got some hair stuff, some liquid plumber shit as the bathroom sink was clogged. and that is about all i htinks.
i think i'm going to lie down and stop staring at the clock. that is prob the best course of action. *nods*
slave_anon.