Torn apart.

Jan 22, 2007 17:32

I would fucking die if I could. I fucking loveee spending time with Devin.
I was doing some research to figure out why I am sooo fucking psycho. I am soo sick of living. So fucking sick of it. I could just die. I am moving out...and everything will be behind me. I can't tell you how amazing that sounds.

"Once a child has been sexually abused, and has not received appropriate help, support, and understanding of what has happened, she/he can be particularly vulnerable to being sexually abused again by another perpetrator. This is not the fault of the child. This is due to the fact that she has learned that sexual abuse is something that people will and can do to her/his body."
I guess that adds to one's self-assurance...or kills it greatly.

Emotional Effects

Includes feelings of: confusion, powerlessness, helplessness, pain, betrayal, sadness, grief, loss, feeling dirty, shame, vulnerable, unsafe, scared, terrified, horrified, depressed, angry, numb from feelings and body, suspicious, untrusting, tortured, sensitive, emotional, hurt, panic, anxiety, and feeling miserable.

Hmmm...
I am sorry. I feel torn from this article.

Super fucking torn.

I may be a fucking dirty slut...but I swear I am trying so hard to drop everything.

I am sorry that I fucking suck at life.

Golly. I guess I am hoping nobody reads this...
Oh well.
I am an open book.
I am applying for the FAFSA...
And nobody knows anything.
And this sooo fucking irritating.
I want to drop out.
I really do.
Take the 1500 that I just gave them...
Get a full refund.
And fucking move out.
How fucking amazing does that sound?
I want to hang myself...
right now.w.w....
I mean smile.
smiling.g....
I need Sam.
I just don't want to talk to her like this.
I hope nobody gets angry at me again.
<3333333333333333333333
I love Devin.
He's more than I could ever...ever...ever ask for.
Amazing.
Wonderful.
Kind.
Handsome.
Caring.
Smiley.
Cute.
Warm.
Cuddly.
Beautiful.
Divine.

Delighting.
Excellent.
Victorious
Imaginative.
Nice.

I wonder the situation with us.
Ohhh welll.
Homework overload.

I maybe need a cigarette.
I deserve one, I really do.
:(:(:(
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