dying
there's so much i want to say but i don't know where to begin.
where the hell did all the fucking happy times go, when jon would hold me in his arm's and caress me with kisses and when we'd fall asleep, and he'd hold me tight in his arm's till the next morning came, the sun rising in my window, when we used to spend almost everyday together smoking and drinking letting things go by as we laughed, when we'd fight in his kitchen and he'd bring mt to the floor and then started tickling me till i thought i was going to piss my pants. when thousands of people would be around us but we never cared because we were so fasinated in eachother we didn't care about anything else...
... and now all this pain and heart ache i don't even know if i can live anymore, or if i even want to. this pain is so fucking great and all i want to know is why me?! why the hell did this have to happen to me? is someone trying to fuck my life up more, because i think you're succeeding. my life has gone from great to shitty to nothing at all anymore, and it hurts so god damn much i don't know what to do, each night i find myself crying myself to sleep, and suddenly on the floor balling my eye's out, a pain so great in my chest i can't fucking breath anymore. and beth keeps saying don't let him do this to you, you deserve someone better, he's a stupid boy don't be upset about him. she doesn't understand that i can't help but feel upset about it, he was the one person i trusted more then anything and now all of this shit is just more then i can stand and i want to die, they just don't see how much he means to me and how much this is killing me because of all this shit i don't know anymore, all my words are cmoing out confused. i want to say everything in in my head right now but i now longer know what's in there. what the fuck is wrong with me, what did i do that made him do this? why me?!
and michelle, i didn't think she'd do this, i didn't even think she liked him and he told me he'd never go out with michelle because he didn't like her. it's just killing me more.
where the hell did all the fucking happy times go, when jon would hold me in his arm's and caress me with kisses and when we'd fall asleep, and he'd hold me tight in his arm's till the next morning came, the sun rising in my window, when we used to spend almost everyday together smoking and drinking letting things go by as we laughed, when we'd fight in his kitchen and he'd bring mt to the floor and then started tickling me till i thought i was going to piss my pants. when thousands of people would be around us but we never cared because we were so fasinated in eachother we didn't care about anything else...
... and now all this pain and heart ache i don't even know if i can live anymore, or if i even want to. this pain is so fucking great and all i want to know is why me?! why the hell did this have to happen to me? is someone trying to fuck my life up more, because i think you're succeeding. my life has gone from great to shitty to nothing at all anymore, and it hurts so god damn much i don't know what to do, each night i find myself crying myself to sleep, and suddenly on the floor balling my eye's out, a pain so great in my chest i can't fucking breath anymore. and beth keeps saying don't let him do this to you, you deserve someone better, he's a stupid boy don't be upset about him. she doesn't understand that i can't help but feel upset about it, he was the one person i trusted more then anything and now all of this shit is just more then i can stand and i want to die, they just don't see how much he means to me and how much this is killing me because of all this shit i don't know anymore, all my words are cmoing out confused. i want to say everything in in my head right now but i now longer know what's in there. what the fuck is wrong with me, what did i do that made him do this? why me?!
and michelle, i didn't think she'd do this, i didn't even think she liked him and he told me he'd never go out with michelle because he didn't like her. it's just killing me more.