(no subject)
so. i really have no clue what i wanted to say, i just need to ramble or something.
i have no idea whether or not i want to stay at my current job. sometimes it's yes, sometimes it's no. i honestly don't have a damn clue. i'm so tired of having to worry about whether i'm going to get in trouble again, for something i didn't do. if i were messing up, i would have no trouble admitting it and taking responsibility for my actions. i have done it in the past. but this taking the fall for someone else's shit is really getting old.
we need help with ky. we both love him dearly, and love having him around, but when we've had a rough week and we need to relax and he won't let us sleep, we need help. we need to be able to send him to his dad's house for the weekend or something. i hate to say this, but i feel like we need robert to move his ass out here, so that we can have some help. i just don't see it happening. i try to talk to him about it, but he just brushes it off. fuck. fuck. i don't know what to do. i need to be able to sleep and not get woken up three times a night because i'm getting kicked in the ribs or smacked in the face or he won't stop crying. i need rest.
i need a drink, and i haven't craved a cigarette like this since i quit almost 3 years ago. i am seriously tempted, but i know i won't start up again. it's just, it's kind of like wanting a piece of cake, but knowing that you won't buy the cake. so you watch other people eat the cake... lol
i just wish i knew everything was going to work itself out. i mean, i know it will, i just wish i knew how.
i have no idea whether or not i want to stay at my current job. sometimes it's yes, sometimes it's no. i honestly don't have a damn clue. i'm so tired of having to worry about whether i'm going to get in trouble again, for something i didn't do. if i were messing up, i would have no trouble admitting it and taking responsibility for my actions. i have done it in the past. but this taking the fall for someone else's shit is really getting old.
we need help with ky. we both love him dearly, and love having him around, but when we've had a rough week and we need to relax and he won't let us sleep, we need help. we need to be able to send him to his dad's house for the weekend or something. i hate to say this, but i feel like we need robert to move his ass out here, so that we can have some help. i just don't see it happening. i try to talk to him about it, but he just brushes it off. fuck. fuck. i don't know what to do. i need to be able to sleep and not get woken up three times a night because i'm getting kicked in the ribs or smacked in the face or he won't stop crying. i need rest.
i need a drink, and i haven't craved a cigarette like this since i quit almost 3 years ago. i am seriously tempted, but i know i won't start up again. it's just, it's kind of like wanting a piece of cake, but knowing that you won't buy the cake. so you watch other people eat the cake... lol
i just wish i knew everything was going to work itself out. i mean, i know it will, i just wish i knew how.